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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527 |
A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a
figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.
They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy these!
- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
- The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
- Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,171
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,171 |
Dong Ha Vietnam '67
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 10,443
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 10,443 |
30-06 till i die, the greatest round ever! I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy! CEO of a Turdlike People: Turds & Tats Division... (per Ingwe  )
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,608 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,608 Likes: 1 |
Everyone who passes through this door makes me happy.
Some when they enter, some when they leave.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,527 |
it wouldn't surprise me a bit to find out that Ken wrote all of them anyways.
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,557 |
Governments have a tendency not to solve problems, only to rearrange them. - RONALD REAGAN
I�ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born. - RONALD REAGAN, New York Times, Sep. 22, 1980
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 34,261
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 34,261 |
Everyone who passes through this door makes me happy.
Some when they enter, some when they leave.
Mine is, "I make everybody happy. Sometimes when I enter, sometimes when I leave. Mostly when I leave.
Don't vote knothead, it only encourages them. Anonymous
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Anonymous
"Self-reliance, free thinking, and wealth is anathema to both the power of the State and the Church." Derby Dude
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