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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,893 Likes: 12
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,893 Likes: 12 |
That would be colon packing, not cleaning.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,846 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,846 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,972 Likes: 10
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,972 Likes: 10 |
I have way too much to do to spend a day in the bathroom.
1Minute
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 957
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 957 |
Fat Sick Nearly Dead, that changed the way I eat and think. I jusice, a lot and litterally there is ner' a cleaner feeling than a juice cleanse. Adam http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/
Last edited by ab_bentley; 06/10/12.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 29,348 |
The kids' latest fad, "butt-chugging," consists of soaking a tampon in vodka and shoving into where stuff's supposed to come out. Which (wouldn'tcha know it?) reminds me of an old joke.
Poor guy couldn't eat anything by mouth (like me) and couldn't even pour liquid food into a belly tube like mine. But an inventive doctor devised a system whereby he could "eat" by stuffing food into his colon.
One day, the doctor came upon the guy doing deep knee bends in his waiting room.
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Chewing gum."
"Good enough" isn't.
Always take your responsibilities seriously but never yourself.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 9,517
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 9,517 |
I'm begining the bathsalt, Zombie diet!
"wanna hear God laugh? Tell Him you have complete control now!"
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 9,517
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 9,517 |
That would be colon packing, not cleaning. What do I hear? Banjos?
"wanna hear God laugh? Tell Him you have complete control now!"
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1 |
Eat some Grape Nuts cereal, pound a jug of magnesium citrate You gonna cause somebody to turn they bunghole into the nose end of a french horn with that advice,... When I saw the thread title " Cleaning your colon" and then a reply by Bristoe, I made sure to swallow my coffee before reading Bristoe's post. Saved me a keyboard!  John
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,244 Likes: 39
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,244 Likes: 39 |
Want a easier way to clean you colon?
Just get in a conversation with Larry Root and you'll be a claen and fresh again!!
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 180
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 180 |
There be a few 'beer snobs' on another thread I'm sure would be more than willing to clean a few colons.
Busch keeps me free and clear
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 42
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 42 |
My first 2 colonoscopies were done by one one best looking women I've ever seen. She could have performed the procedure (or any procedure) on me every week.  Unfortunately, she moved her practice to the west coast.  What a looker!!
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,653 Likes: 1 |
My first 2 colonoscopies were done by one one best looking women I've ever seen. She could have performed the procedure (or any procedure) on me every week. Unfortunately, she moved her practice to the west coast. What a looker!! I have posted this before, but hell, that never stopped anybody here at the 'Fire so here it comes again... I am a male, and my urologist is an absolute knockout. One of the hottest women you ever saw. Anyway, she said that I have to stop masturbating. I ask "Why? She answers "Because I am tying to examine you!" <rimshot> John
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 54,842 |
Well, its windy out (suprise...this IS Wyoming after all) and I am tired of wasting gas money going fishing, though the fishing has been good lately at the Flaming Gorge.
Anyhow every year or so on a crappy weather day I drink a bottle of Magnesium Citrate, which produces epic bowel movements. You will chit out things you never knew were in you. Its awesome! I'm never a fan of putting chemicals in my body (I feel hypocritical saying that, as I refuse to buy organic food), however I make an exception for this OTC bottle of delight. It's amazing how much cleaner and healthier you feel the next day. I highly suggest it if you try to take descent care of your body.
Just make sure the wife and kids are gone for the day, (I'm a loser with no wife or kids so I don't have that worry) and make sure that you can spend all day within arm's reach of a [bleep]. You will thank me tomorrow. Why does it not surprise me that yer a Marine, ONLY a Marine would do that fer Gits and Shiggles.
Back in the heartland, Thank God!
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,754 Likes: 7
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,754 Likes: 7 |
I let myself get talked into a colonoscopy 'bout fifteen years ago. There was no intention of knockin' me out. In fact while the doc' had me on my side and was augering away at my innards, he let me watch the TV screen which was projecting the image of the camera (which appeared, and felt the size of studio's camera).
When they let me off the gurney, they told me to expect the senastion of pressure, as they had used compressed oxygen ahead of the camera as part of the procedure. Little pressure my ass! I was a human life vest. No innertube had a damn thing on me - except I leaked! And squeaked! I powerless against what must have been the equivilant of an Ingersoll Rand industrial compressor's content in my digestinal tract, with butt one way out. I sounded like junior high band practice. I hurt so bad I didn't care that I was a curiosity to anyone within earshot.
Then, just to make sure the experience was unpleasant enough that I'd never subject myself to it again, I was given a prescription, and instructed to walk to the hospital's pharmacy. It was reminisint of being on a basketball court doubled-over in pain after taking a knee to the testicles and having a coach standing in front of you saying "jump on your heels, then walk it off - you'll be fine."
Each step toward the pharmacy was an orchestra. Standing at the counter in one of those backwards gowns, stripped of all dignity, I handed the presciption to the pharmacist. My eyes must have gotten big as dinner platters when he scanned the note, and said, "you must have had a colonoscopy, your prescription may cause flatulence."
Haven't been back since, and frankly the Grape Nuts-abrassion method would be preferable. I almost chit myself laughing while reading this post! 
The deer hunter does not notice the mountains
"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve" - Isoroku Yamamoto
There sure are a lot of America haters that want to live here...
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,037 Likes: 28
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,037 Likes: 28 |
turbo lax from the movie dumb and dumber ought to work????????
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,853
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,853 |
I can eat a bowl of oatmeal and ten minutes later i'm droppin a duece.
My idea of being organic is taking a dump in the woods.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,893 Likes: 12
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 44,893 Likes: 12 |
Oatmeal is powerful stuff.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,037 Likes: 28
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 45,037 Likes: 28 |
bunch of lawsuits against VA nationwide for doing jacked up colon whatever how you spell it procedures
few of em here in tn out of murfeesboro VA
otherwise than shyting blue dye the next day like a smurf from a krogers cake last week
my solid waste disposal system seems to be working fine!!!!!!!
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,986 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,986 Likes: 2 |
I think it was Birdwatcher who chimed in about being leery of the colon cleansing and I agree. For weighing the so called benefits- here is a good article. short read - valid info. http://www.webmd.com/balance/natural-colon-cleansing-is-it-necessarythanks for the OP abuot gettign the word out to have yourself checked out. Lot of famous people recently dying of a curable malady. Need to do it myself as I am pushing 50.
When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are something to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honors are something to be ashamed of
. Confucius
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,639 |
There is nothing to be afraid of unless you have a practical joker for a doctor.. The prep sucks but you will never know anything about the procedure! When that drug hits you the next thing you'll know is that you're being woken up!
Speak softly and use a big bore...
Where's El Cid when we need him...
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