Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Funeral conundrum and question

My ex's dad died today. We've not seen, or said a word to each other for over 2 years. I feel I should attend his funeral to pay my respects, but don't want a scene. After all, he was my F.I.L. for 25 years. I guess the question is, should I go, or blow it off? The ex's family don't seem to have much use for me, except for her brother. We're still friends..... My boys will both attend grampa's funeral.

If you can just go, sign the register, and sit in the back and leave after the service. Don't have to attend the reception. While they may not have much use for you her brother does and I suspect that the others will, at least, appreciate the gesture.

Funerals are for the living. If your not wanted, stay home and maybe send flowers.

BP...

What do your boys think of your attendance and it's reception from "the other side"?

I would pay a visit to your ex beforhand and ask her if it would be OK to attend with your boys. If she would rather you wouldn't, give her your respects and sorrow in your father-in-laws passing and wish her well.


Phil

Go.

That's good.

If you and your ex-brother-in-law on still on good terms, just ask him.

He may be able to tell you right away, or may check with your ex.

I'd use him as your gauge. If he says your ex has strong feelings one way or the other, you'll know. She may feel honored that you'd like to attend.

As somebody else said, if you do attend, just stay low profile, pay your respects, and move along. A small footprint is probably your best balance on this one.

Except I would think about calling rather than a face to face.

Go drunk.

Stay at home unless a family member takes the initiative and requests that you go. You are no longer part of that family even though your children are.

Paying a 'visit' to mother dearest is outta the question. I already called. She let her message machine take the condolence call, 'cause she'll not be bothered with ANY kind of contact..... The boys and nieces/nephews are cool with me going.

Her family can't contact me. I kinda fell off the edge of the earth......grin

In that case, the hassle is not worth it.

You called, you did your duty.

Let the brother and nieces/nephews know that you send your condolences, but just won't be able to attend.

You don't need to burn your bridges with the whole family, but if she doesn't want you around, then I wouldn't want to BE around.

Hey,....unless they're burying him tomorrow AM,.... sleep on it, get up early and go wander around that beautiful lurk you abide in.

Don't CHASE the answer, let it come to ya'.

Tough call, My ex's family thinks I'm the Anti-Christ, so That's the best call I've got.

GTC

By even posting the question tells me you had somewhat of a good relationship with Pops. Go....you only get one chance with this dance. To heck with everyone else. (except the boys of course)

With all due respect to the solemnity of the OP,

ROTFLMAO

We oughta' start some sorta' consulting business,....

GTC

Greg, I'm not 'chasing', just wanting to know how my 'betters' on the 'fire would handle it. I damn sure ain't smart on these things. Hence the divorce.....

If the boys really want you there, and it's important to them, then go.

Otherwise, I'd just wait until it's over, visit the gravesite and say farewell in private.

Great advice! Your a wise man Greygost.