Home Forums Miscellaneous Topics Humor, Jokes, and Riddles MUSLIM JOKES

Q: Why are camels called "Ships of the Desert"?
A: Because they're full of Muslim semen.


Q: What's the definition of a virgin in England?
A: Any female under the age of eighteen.
Q: What's the definition of a virgin in France?
A: Any female under the age of sixteen.
Q: What's the definition of a virgin in the Middle East?
A: Any camel that can run faster than an Muslim.

A Pakistani arrives at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. St. Peter looks him up and down and says "What do YOU want?"

With a glowing smile the man says, "I'm here for Jesus..."

St. Peter pokes his head around the gates and shouts "JESUS, YOUR CAB'S HERE!"


Q: What's the ugliest thing on a 6 year old Muslim girl?
A: Her husband.


Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, �I heard you were planning to leave me?�

She replied, �Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!�

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, �that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

Maybe I am not up with things but I do not find those funny.

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim

2 . You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes..
You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

1 0. Your cousin is president of the United States. You may be a Muslim

1 1 . You find this offensive or racist. You may be a Muslim.

And people wonder why most consider the Confederate flag to be a symbol of racism and bigotry. Great job, stereotype.

Truth hurts does it.

At this point I say fak islam. They can all go set something on fire.

ok.

Gee Whiz , didnt mean to upset folks here , they're jus stupid jokes,nothing more. I also have jokes about blondes, pollocks, cops, nigs , fattys , irish , pilots, cab drivers , priests, preachers , politicians , lil johnny,[bleep] ,cowboys ..etc etc.. ya see where Im going here ? dont like the joke ? simply hit the back button an select a different joke. as for the flag , Im simply a rebel against big goverment and the infringement of our rights.

If you're going to post racist or bigoted comments, just do us a favor and change your avatar. I love that flag and am tired of having to defend its true heritage to people who believe it only represents hate and bigotry because of idiots who misrepresent it.

And as far as not commenting if I don't like the joke, that's what happens when you post on an open forum. Maybe you should just post on an 88 site if you aren't getting the support you wanted here.

I didn't comment just because they were Muslim jokes. I would have felt the same no matter what race or religion you were attempting to denigrate.

Lighten up people these are just jokes, read the hundreds of others posted on here , There jokes about everyone and their mothers.
Sounds like some people have their panties in a wad

Sounds like you didn't actually read my posts.

And on a lighter note : How bout a joke ???

A Georga State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Some people seem to forget that I have a right to like or not like anybody, for what ever reason. I also have the right of freedom of speech. I also have the right to not exercise any of those rights just as I do to exercise them. All of these people trying to police everybody else gets on my nerves. miles

LOL, ok, had to laugh at that one.

Sorry folks, I give a thumbs up on the jokes! And thats what they are.

Trooper down the road responded to an overturned car call. He found a very drunk black guy sitting beside it. He asked if he were ok. He said yes but if he had not been drunk it wudda killed him. He asked for ID and he had none. He then asked his name and birthday. He told him his name and his birthday was May 16th. What year? Every year!You can't make this stuff up.

If you cant laugh off jokes you must be a democrat. I read this on another site and it fits. Most of us are politically correct because of brainwashing from our govt. If you dont like his jokes dont read them.Better yet go to another site and read their jokes.They are all the same.

I like the "truth hurts" comment.
I kept reading the jokes and further down was this one. That pretty much cracks me up.

"I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business,
patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American
slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of
their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, Allah Akbar! Praise Allah!" and took off before
the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection
and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man...that
could have been me!"



So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver."

Good one Fireball!