Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Cute things your children used to say.

"Mom, Dad's gonna kill something..."

Whenever she sees me grab a rifle and head for the door.

Still says it. Never get's old.

She did used to sing "You are my sunshine" to herself whenever we were out and about. Usually brought out some smiles from folks.

She was about this age here:




Notice the epic goatee on the laborer in the back. It's a lot more gray now.

My son was about 2-1/2, and we were out at the local cafe for lunch when it happened. I was the Christian school principal, and well-known in town.

We were all four there, me, my son, my wife, and our infant daughter. Wife was still breast-feeding our daughter yet, so son was used to seeing his mom's boobs and took it as a matter of course in life.

So there we were, sipping our Cokes, and the waitress takes our order. Son is standing on the chair right beside her and across from me, and I notice that his eyes are glued to her tits. Now, she had a fine rack, and it was a chilly winter day, and her t-shirt was tight, and she was sporting' high-beams you could crack nuts on. Not that anybody was gonna say anything, of course.

Until she was walking away, at which point son says in a high, clear voice, "that girl sure gots big nipples, doesn't she dad!!"

Of course, nobody turned to look at the waitress, nor the kid. No. Everybody looked at me as if this was all MY doing. Life is so unfair.

When my Daughter was 3, we were going somewhere with my Mom. I was driving and my Mom was setting in the back seat with my Daughter.

Mom says something and my Daughter says "bullschitt grandma!"

My Mom caught my eye in the mirror and says, I wonder where she got that! If looks could kill Id'a been dead!

Virgil B.

but was your daughter right?

My son was around 2 1/2, pushed open the bathroom door while I was stepping out of the shower. Ran into the kitchen yelling mommy, daddy has a tail, daddy has a tail.

I tried to eplain the best I could to him, but he made it a mission the next couple of weeks to tell everyone he could about daddy's tail.

We were going out to a movie about the time my oldest was in the middle of potty training. On our way out the door I told him to be good, and if he needed help in the bathroom to tell the 'sitter. He looked up and said, "well OK, but she ain't gonna wanna wipe my heiney....."

Wow. I remember that pic!

Yep. A Campfire Classic.

My oldest is 7 and calls every flat pastry a "parp tart"

At my youngest daughter's preschool the boys are negligent to close the bathroom door. Both of my daughters had previously had discussions with my wife and myself about boys standing up to pee and girls sitting down. One day at lunch she tells her teacher that boys have tails. Her teacher chuckles and says "sweetie we need to talk about something else now. Her response? "My daddy has a tail and he stands up to pee!"

We still laugh about "storytime at lunch"!

My 3 year old calls light bulbs "light bobs". Last night his mom was putting him to bed and he asked her to sing a song. She asked what song he wanted and he rattled off "Twinkle twinkle tiniest tiny little ninja star, with swords." She did a pretty good job ad libing!

One time we were picking up my brother from the airport and the little guy was wearing a superman t-shirt. My brother said, "I like your superman shirt." The dude looked down at his shirt and back up at my brother and calmly stated, "I think everyone should have one." Seemed like such a good idea that I almost had to stop and pick one up for myself on the way home.

At the age of four my daughter's favorite food was spaghetti, she'd have it everyday if it was up to her.
Ask her what she wanted for supper and she'd say "buhsketty"!

Middle son used to say that his younger brother was "anoritating"

Mine called eyeballs, eyebulbs......

This one's telling on me about age 3 - 1953
One of my Dad's favorite stories.
Dad, me, and cattle dog Rex had just herded the the dairy cattle to fresh pasture on the lower bench. I think half the herd had left a fresh cowpie on the lane leading down there.
So we're driving back up cowpatty lane on a ford 8n, me sitting on Dad's lap, I'm pleading with Dad "go fast Dad, go fast! He gives in, puts it in high gear at about half throttle which is fast to me. Cowpatties are sticking to the rear tires and getting flung everywhere in a 180� arc!
I look up at Dad and say " Schit sure flying today, ain't it Dad"

Years ago after listening to her older sister rambling on and on about something especially silly our younger daughter shook her head in bewilderment and said, "sometimes I really do worry about you, Sister!"

When our oldest grandson was a little guy he had the reputation among our immediate family and friends for making some of the funniest, most spontaneous comments.

One night when he was around three or four his parents were having trouble getting him to go to sleep.

His dad told him to try closing his eyes and imagine he is counting sheep jumping over a fence.

Grandson said, "but I don't like sheep!"

His sleepy dad told him, "well, instead of counting sheep, count something you DO like, son!

Grandson thought about it for a few seconds, then closed his eyes again and started counting,....

"ONE - Jennifer Lopez, TWO - Jennifer Lopez, THREE - Jennifer Lopez, FOUR - Jennifer Lopez,.... "

at 10 my oldest, my girl, was riding around with me doing errands, bank, store etc.

my b'day was around the corner and she asked "daddy what do you want for your b'day"

I told her, honey I have everything I need.

"Awww daddy it's your birthday, there has to be something you must want?"


so I gave it some thought and told her, yaknow, I'd like to have a little girl that does what she's told, never sasses back to her mom and can control her temper


she gave it some thought and replied


Well unless you and momma are gonna have another baby, I don't think you're gonna get that. So you'd better pick something else.




my lord but those were prophetic words!

My 7yo and 9yo girls call chop sticks, "chompsticks". Crutches are called "crunches" and instead of having a frog in your throat, they say you have a "toad in your mouth".

When they sing "Row Your Boat", their version goes like this...
Row, row, row, your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life's a ball of string.

My favorite was when my girls went through my wife's armoire looking for something to wear to bed. The oldest grabbed one of my wife's sexy silk sleep camisoles to wear as a nightgown. The youngest one immediately grabbed the matching G-string, and proudly exclaimed she was going to wear the matching "eye patch"!

My wife and I still chuckle over that one.

My 6 year old recently received a birthday invitation in the mail. The wife and I have been making him practice reading a lot, so she handed him the card. Being familiar with the word "You're" he quickly read it, then he started to stumble on "Invited." So my wife encourages him to sound it out. As he is sounding it out he says "You're a turd." Never seen my wife laugh so hard in my life.

classic, good stuff there Don, have enjoyed all the stories but yours made me lol

can just see the lil tyke, this is gonna be a problem

When mini-'flave was but a wee 'flave, I walked past his bedroom door one night, and heard him crying.

I went into his room, and his face was soaked with tears. I asked him what was wrong, and he replied "I'm going to die!"

I explained to him that although that was true, I didn't understand the sudden concern at such a young age. He quickly explained between gasping breaths and fighting back more tears that he "swallowed a penny."

I quickly recalled that whenever somebody told him not to put something in his mouth it was likely followed by, "You could choke on that and not be able to breathe" and his brain interpreted that as 'death upon swallowing.'

So I comforted the wee-'flave and he settled down after I explained he would not die. As he wiped away his tears he calmly asked "So what happens to the penny?" I told him "You'll just schit it out."

He immediately started to sob all over again.



Travis