Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire When is a person forgiven? Never?

A whole lot easier said than done. Especially, if one is confined to quarters due to a felony court ruling. And of course the family ties might be all the person in question has, which matters greatly. Especially, in the South.

You need money to live. That's priority #1, always and forever.



Travis

Big time YUP!

I'd advise an individual to correct that. Quick.



Travis

Trav, I agree it makes no sense, but at the McDonalds in this area, being convicted of a money-handling crime here in SC means you are skeeee-rewed with them, which is odd, since they do hire out of 2 major prisons in the area...go figure

Can't argue with that either.

Well then tell him to try Taco Bell, or a factory, or a job placement center (they've seen it all) or tell him to sell weed under a viaduct.

Do something. Even if it's wrong. Do something.



Travis

Who needs forgiveness. The shallow people of today's society will forget this person's sins or humilation rather quickly.

Our society is me-first, apathetic, agoraphobic, complacent and just too lazy to remember to not grant forgiveness. Hell, they've forgotten 911.

Only a super-hero dickweed 'Christian' would harbor a lasting grudge of proportions large enough to stymie man's resolve to get on with his life. Unless you got some bitch trying to "cindy sheehan" a brotha and keep him down.

Depends on the situation and the crime.

For instance...

I have a sibling that is in deep kimchee for committing and trying to commit very heinous crimes.

Do I forgive him? Of course.

However, I understand that he is a sociopath and some things are unlikely to change. My concern is for his needs... he needs to be out of society and he needs a lot therapy to even have a slim chance of being healthy.

I had a superior call me that. I had to google it.

Not very complimentary.



Travis

I know folks in this area who landed jobs with what appear to be more severe rulings than your buddy. Are you looking to attain community forgiveness for this person or a new beginning/restart? Two entirely different objectives.

Again, I'm willing to assist as I have done in the past with others. In fact, I'm even helping (with a certain other Fire good guy) a couple of folks to expunge their bad history. But community forgiveness is up to he or she.

Hey byc, thanks, I will PM you shortly related tot his and some other stuff too. FWIW, they was a restart, not community forgiveness

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No it's not.

He nails 8 of the top ten indicators.

Sure is able to fool a lot of folks, some for years

My fundamentalist bible thumping neighbor hasn't forgiven a soul in her life and is quick to scoff at catholics going to confession but ain't askeered to be "born again" when her transgressions become known.

Hope it comes to a just ending for your families friend.

Denny.

Pffft!!!!

McDonalds??? Screw that.

If i was a felon, I would get in with a roofing crew, block layers, land scapers.... Along that line.

In just a few months, a with a ladder and a pickup truck could strike out on his own, knock neighborhood doors and sell gutter cleanings, ventilation jobs, roof patches,minor exterior painting work.

Mthfkers are lazy. They will pay a handyman to do all these things.
$200-300 a day easily for 4-6 hours work. Almost no overhead.

Hell any moron can cut and sell firewood. Make $200 a day cutting and delivering that chit.

Fugga a bunch of burger flippin for some POS GED NOO sassy mouf idiot shift manager at mickey dees

I agree. Jobs like roofing, lawn care, etc. Lots of money to be made.



Travis

I think the hardest part for someone trying to restart is living with the scrutiny they will be under at work and in life in general if it is a smaller community and being able to come out on top.

I am not sure that most of us would be able to be squeaky clean under such scrutiny.

I work with ex-offenders all the time.

"Society" will never forgive an ex-offender, because ex-offenders are one of a politician's favorite horses to ride into office. An ex-offender somewhere will re-offend, and a politician will say, "We've got to keep these scum in prison longer to make sure this never happens again." That's a completely logic-free argument, of course, but politicians don't need to make logical arguments, only emotional ones.

A politician who rides rich people ("...need to pay their fair share!") into office finds out that rich people have a lot of political power. A politician who rides old people into office finds out that old people have a lot of political power. But a politician who rides criminals into office discovers that criminals can't vote, so it's a consequence-free situation.

Stupid arguments, inconsistent arguments, false arguments, doesn't matter: as long as it makes prisoners the bad guys, nobody is going to stick up for them, and it's real easy to make folks believe that if a criminal was bad in one way at one time, he's bad in all ways at all times. (For example, there are probably a bunch of folks right here on the Campfire who believe that, on the basis of no direct experience, just emotional propaganda from politicians and their media lackeys.)

It could be argued that this is an unjust situation, but regardless of how that argument turns out, the fact of the matter is that it's the way things are, and the way things are is what we have to deal with in real life. Whining about it won't help; spending a lot of time designing ways for other people to change their thinking won't help. One must play the hand one is dealt.

My experience with ex-offenders is that their success rate is abysmally low unless they get support on the outside--and not government or government-funded support. The government can't do it--and I'm not talking here about government incompetence or government corruption or even government indifference. I'm saying that the way government programs must by law be set up, they're necessarily ineffective or counterproductive when it comes to support for ex-offenders.

So...I'd recommend that you find a charitable organization that ministers especially to ex-offenders to get your friend hooked up with. Find a place that has a rule against giving "material support" to ex-offenders (that is, money, clothing, housing, etc.), but will do things like counseling, job-search assistance, mentoring, and accountability grouping.

I'd further recommend that you avoid giving your friend material support, just as a non-personal matter of practice. It can be really really tempting, but it's a very quick way to get conned out of all your resources and have important relationships destroyed. Offer a listening ear, wise advice, and an open heart, not money.

Maybe some irregular transportation (that is, to job interviews but not regularly to work), or even some temporary shelter. Temporary! Have him sleep on the couch or on the floor, and make him tear down his bedding every morning and set it up again every night. An occasional meal, if it's appropriate. But nothing regular, and no money under any circumstances.

On the dark side, there's the fact that your friend will need to look for a job in a completely different manner than he's used to, because almost nobody will hire an ex-offender, and--especially if he used to be white-collar--he'll probably have to enter an entirely new line of work.

On the bright side is the fact that there are a few employers out there who recognize that the right ex-offender can make an excellent employee, because 1) he's grateful to have the opportunity of a job, 2) he knows that if he gets fired he's unlikely to find another job, and 3) he'll work harder for less money than a non-ex-offender.

Good luck to you and your friend.

This is quite a bit different from how it sounded at first! Anyone can get in a spot and some might break the law to get out of it but this now sounds like these folks had everything going for them. Prestigious Southeastern schools aren't cheap and it sounds like they had family that would help if they needed it! Sounds to me like this is just greed pure and simple! A silver spoon child that got caught!! Hell he ought to get into politics! They reward criminals with promotions!

Kinda pisses me off now that I told ya my story! I thought it would help someone who'd been crushed by life but it turns out to be a silver spoon that got caught! Good luck with your quest but I'll bet he'll be stealing again before long!

First this person needs a job, any job! Looking for handouts won't help people to forgive. All they will see is someone still trying to get something for nothing (thief).

Second this person needs to be in a good church every time the doors are opened. Let the community see repentance and that they are trying to be a better person. Salvation and repentance would be first but that's a subject in itself.

Third this person needs to be giving to the community in every way possible. In effect sowing seeds for a harvest of good will. Mow some grass for free. Pick up trash off the street. In general just be a blessing to anyone and everyone possible. When good seeds are sown they will produce a good harvest.