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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 17,270
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 17,270 |
I want to see you telling the Federal Judge, "I'm uber sorry Your Honor, but due to my physical condition, need for tires, and this duty overlapping deer season, I'm going to have to take a rain check on this jury duty that you wrote me about.. won't be able to help you this time.."
Would love to see the Judges face. He's not near as forgiving as the 24hr Fire.
"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
Thomas Jefferson
GeoW, The "Unwoke" ...Let's go Brandon!
"A Well Regulated Militia" Life Member
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 14,712
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 14,712 |
This is too easy.
Talk about a target rich environment.
It's like a really slow day in the duck marsh. No wind, nothing really flying and the blocks are looking lifeless. Then, all of a sudden here comes a dumb drake mallard swimming into the spread. You and your buddy look at each other, shrug shoulders and buck up to see who gets to take the shot as the bird jumps up when you both stand up and surprise the bird into flight. But much to your dismay and disgust, the damned stupid bird, rather than launching skyward in terror as nature meant for him to, just cranes his neck, widens his eyes a bit maybe, and spins 180 degrees and starts swimming away instead. Little bastard doesn't take to wing despite getting shouted at, but just keeps on swimming. Almost out of range now, and not looking even much afraid any more, he shocks both duckmen and actually begins to offer up a couple of his weak vocalizations. Your partner can't take it anymore, and sends an ounce and a quarter load of #2 steel moving out of the muzzle at 1550 and puts a stop to the show. Both share a look -- one feigned sheepish and one feigned of disappointment and scorn-- then a shrug and finally a pair of grins. They then start wrapping it up. They each sleep that night, hoping that tomorrow's weather will bring the birds in hot, zigging and zagging and rapidly dropping both altitude and speed... In other words, no guilt required. Sometimes, not often but every now and then, you just feel like you need to smack a meatball over the fence. Ain't no puzzle. 
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,121 Likes: 27
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,121 Likes: 27 |
I want to see you telling the Federal Judge, "I'm uber sorry Your Honor, but due to my physical condition, need for tires, and this duty overlapping deer season, I'm going to have to take a rain check on this jury duty that you wrote me about.. won't be able to help you this time.."
Would love to see the Judges face. He's not near as forgiving as the 24hr Fire. oooohhh, yeah we'd have to wrap dis chit up by deer season, patriotic obligations to The Constitution and all, I would request no one break for cigs or sidebars and let's fastrack this mofo I have to be freed up by furry critter season, myself, Field Grade and probably one or two other people on this forum actually hunt. 
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,885 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,885 Likes: 1 |
I want to see you telling the Federal Judge, "I'm uber sorry Your Honor, but due to my physical condition, need for tires, and this duty overlapping deer season, I'm going to have to take a rain check on this jury duty that you wrote me about.. won't be able to help you this time.."
Would love to see the Judges face. He's not near as forgiving as the 24hr Fire. Just wear your 'foil' hat, that will keep off the vampires, cosmic rays, etc., and be sure to tell them why you have to wear it! You'll be home for deer season!!!
Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist
Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"
This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 23,500
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 23,500 |
Uh mr judge you think i can get a advance on my jury pay?
Then STFU. The rest of your statement is superflous bullshit with no real bearing on this discussion other than to massage your own ego. Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
Goddamm this is some funny schit.
Travis
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,530 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,530 Likes: 1 |
This is too easy.
Talk about a target rich environment.
It's like a really slow day in the duck marsh. No wind, nothing really flying and the blocks are looking lifeless. Then, all of a sudden here comes a dumb drake mallard swimming into the spread. You and your buddy look at each other, shrug shoulders and buck up to see who gets to take the shot as the bird jumps up when you both stand up and surprise the bird into flight. But much to your dismay and disgust, the damned stupid bird, rather than launching skyward in terror as nature meant for him to, just cranes his neck, widens his eyes a bit maybe, and spins 180 degrees and starts swimming away instead. Little bastard doesn't take to wing despite getting shouted at, but just keeps on swimming. Almost out of range now, and not looking even much afraid any more, he shocks both duckmen and actually begins to offer up a couple of his weak vocalizations. Your partner can't take it anymore, and sends an ounce and a quarter load of #2 steel moving out of the muzzle at 1550 and puts a stop to the show. Both share a look -- one feigned sheepish and one feigned of disappointment and scorn-- then a shrug and finally a pair of grins. They then start wrapping it up. They each sleep that night, hoping that tomorrow's weather will bring the birds in hot, zigging and zagging and rapidly dropping both altitude and speed... In other words, no guilt required. Sometimes, not often but every now and then, you just feel like you need to smack a meatball over the fence. Ain't no puzzle. Well said. And I'm not even a duck hunter.
MAGA
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,616
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,616 |
I enjoyed the
"Will they pay for my motel, if I have to stay overnight?"
SWEET.
"I'll stay with friends or relatives and tell them I'm staying in a motel."
"Cha-pfukking-Ching"
You knew it was gonna be epic. UBER EPIC.
P.S. I like shooting ducks in the face. (no pun intended)
Have Dog
Will Travel
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,121 Likes: 27
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 67,121 Likes: 27 |
Pffft. I would Use the jury pay for new tat
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,044
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,044 |
Do they deduct Federal Income Taxes from Jury Duty pay?
A Doe walks out of the woods today and says, that is the last time I'm going to do that for Two Bucks.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26,337
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26,337 |
if'n ya do get elected to serve on a jury, don't go to nullifying no decisions, ok? I mean, that's a close kept secret.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,751 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 15,751 Likes: 1 |
no they do not deduct taxes, you have to include it on your return for that year.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,381
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,381 |
You have to give him credit for consistency. This site is the funniest thing on the internet. When I come on here I expect to get some great info and a good laugh in any given hour. This is truly democracy in action.
mike r
Don't wish it were easier
Wish you were better
Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that.
Craig Douglas ECQC
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,884
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,884 |
Man he contradicts himself all the time... 3 weeks ago he couldn't sleep kidneys shutting down to now he is ready for 3-4 weeks of jury duty so he can make some cash. Oh boy he needs a lot of praying to help him Trust me. He does need much prayer. He is not ready for 3-4 weeks of a jury duty unless they want to have it in our town. Mark has a very difficult habit to break of trying to put too many things into one day, or not being realistic about his physical limitations. The fact something is not realistic in my mind or someone else's mind is not going to stop him from trying. We all know the judge is not going to accept any person in late stage kidney disease unless the judge needs to get his head examined.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,225 Likes: 24
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,225 Likes: 24 |
Oh word advice for the OP don't take your pistol into a federal courthouse. What if an old sign in a gun-store says it's okay? What is this about?
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,616
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 24,616 |
Man he contradicts himself all the time... 3 weeks ago he couldn't sleep kidneys shutting down to now he is ready for 3-4 weeks of jury duty so he can make some cash. Oh boy he needs a lot of praying to help him Trust me. He does need much prayer. He is not ready for 3-4 weeks of a jury duty unless they want to have it in our town. Mark has a very difficult habit to break of trying to put too many things into one day, or not being realistic about his physical limitations. The fact something is not realistic in my mind or someone else's mind is not going to stop him from trying. We all know the judge is not going to accept any person in late stage kidney disease unless the judge needs to get his head examined. The Judge?
Have Dog
Will Travel
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,225 Likes: 24
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,225 Likes: 24 |
I am actually looking forward to serving, if the case goes on to trial. You got called for Petit jury and not Grand jury?
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,884
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,884 |
Man he contradicts himself all the time... 3 weeks ago he couldn't sleep kidneys shutting down to now he is ready for 3-4 weeks of jury duty so he can make some cash. Oh boy he needs a lot of praying to help him Trust me. He does need much prayer. He is not ready for 3-4 weeks of a jury duty unless they want to have it in our town. Mark has a very difficult habit to break of trying to put too many things into one day, or not being realistic about his physical limitations. The fact something is not realistic in my mind or someone else's mind is not going to stop him from trying. We all know the judge is not going to accept any person in late stage kidney disease unless the judge needs to get his head examined. The Judge? Yes. The judge. The guy who makes the decision on who is going to serve.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,500 |
I am actually looking forward to serving, if the case goes on to trial. You got called for Petit jury and not Grand jury? I don't know that much yet, just got the summons to serve. It is probably true that my failed kidneys and resultant symptoms will keep me out of the final jury pool, but I would have liked to have done it. In the past, when called for local jury duty I always showed up and was ready to be among the 12. Civic duty and responsability to our fellow citizens and our due proccess system requires it of those who can serve, to serve IMO.
LOVE God, LOVE your family, LOVE your country, LIKE guns and sports.
About 2016 team "R" candidates "We definitely need a crew with a sack of balls the size of hot water bottles, bloviated estrogen leaking feel-gooders need not apply." Gunner 500
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 14,712
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 14,712 |
In the past, when called for local jury duty I always showed up and was ready to be among the 12. Civic duty and responsability to our fellow citizens and our due proccess system requires it of those who can serve, to serve IMO.
Well there's that. Plus the forty bones a day. The 54 cents a mile is just gravy.
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