TUE SEP 02, 2014 AT 12:29 AM PDT
Man Fires 9mm At Couple Who Interrupted Public Fellatio
When the Founding Fathers sat down to write the Second Amendment, what they had in mind were situations like the following.
You're a man (the Constitution is for men, because the laydeez should be at home making sammiches and looking purty).
After a hard day at the office, you put on a tuxedo, head for the city's red-light district and hire a lady entrepreneur to perform oral sex on you...because the invisible hand (or mouth) of the market rules!
But your well-earned, free-market, all-American relaxation is interrupted by a pair of liberal busybodies. This is America, so you do what any reasonable, red-blooded non-socialist American man who has a blow-job interrupted does: you pull out your 9mm and blast away.
"A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city�s nightlife district, police report.
The couple told cops that they were walking on a downtown street when they happened upon Paul Hunter, 64, receiving oral sex from a woman. After being spotted by the duo, the woman �immediately left,� according to a Seattle Police Department report. Hunter, police report, �got angry and started walking away northbound.� But after about half-a-block, he �turned around, pointed his gun at them� and fired a shot at the couple. �I�m going to kill you,� Hunter said, according to the victims.
Responding to a 911 call about a firearm being discharged, cops searched for a male suspect described as �older, wearing a tuxedo and having white hair.� With their weapons drawn, officers quickly apprehended Hunter, who had a loaded 9mm handgun tucked in the waistband of his pants. Hunter declined to speak with police.
Charged with felony assault, Hunter was booked into the King County jail, where he is being held without bail.
