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Joined: Dec 2002
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,863 |
That is hilarious. Was in the Air Farce so can't vouch for any of it but it sure sounds military. You musta never spent time on the SAC flight line... 
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,589 |
39. Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them that at the end of the 6th week you'll take them to Disney World for liberty. At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection, and it will be another week before they can leave the house. And when you finally do get liberty it's in Norfolk and you go to East Main Street order a beer!!! The Bar Tender walks down the bar finds an untended half full beer schooner tops it off and gives to you!!!! 
de 73's Archie - W7ACT ![[Linked Image]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t1.0-9/s180x540/532227_701629896563809_1743684631_n.jpg)
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,740 Likes: 4 |
Go to your shower, wet down, soap up and after you're all lathered up have some knucklehead turn off the fresh water for 15 minutes.
Coming home after cruise my wife would always turn up her nose at my clothes and complain, "they smell like the ship!"
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
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Joined: Feb 2008
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,735 |
Wait a minute!!!
There's nothing about trying to sleep at night with 6 of the 12 guys in your "bedroom" puking in trash cans. Nothing about snatching a helmet at your GQ battle station and finding out some bastard used it in the middle of the night for a trash can.
Nothing about trying to sleep after a night on duty with some idiot running a jitterbug on the other side of the metal wall you're sleeping next to.
Nothing about teaching you a whole new vocabulary.
Nothing about how you have to keep white linen clothing spotless no matter where you go or what you do.
Nothing about learning to pee standing at a 45 degree angle into the wall and bracing yourself with one hand.
Nothing about standing in formation on blacktop at 90 degrees in blue wool.
Nothing about teaching you a new profession making wine out of gallon cans of fruit on the warm side of an air conditioner.
Nothing about how to survive for weeks at a time on nothing but soda crackers.
Nothing about how to eat a meal while the dining room alternates between tilting 45 degrees one way and then 45 degrees the other.
Nothing about how to climb into a laundry basket suspended 100 feet below a bouncy helicopter just to go see a doctor.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,110
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,110 |
I guess it was too long in the military, but I can be through dessert before she's finished the appetizer. I was in the Army and thought that I had seen some fast eaters until a fellow from a large, poor family came to work for me. If you were two people behind him in at a buffet, he would be finished when you got to the table. He said his Dad had a line drawn on the bath tub and you better not get it any fuller than that. Every person did not get fresh water either. It had to be pretty dirty to get new water. miles
Look out for number 1, don't step in number 2.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 23,453 |
Women can sure eat slow. I guess it was too long in the military, but I can be through dessert before she's finished the appetizer. just start on her plate after you finish yours. She'll get the message soon enough. Marines do that out of reflex.
America needs to understand that our troops are not 'disposable'. Each represents a family; Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters, Cousins, Uncles, Aunts... Our Citizens are our most valuable treasure; we waste far too many.
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
just start on her plate after you finish yours.
She'll get the message soon enough.
Marines do that out of reflex. I am betting that if you tried that you would find a fork sticking out of the back of your hand. I believe you married wisely but you didn't marry a wimp.
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 12,895
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 12,895 |
Wait a minute!!!
There's nothing about trying to sleep at night with 6 of the 12 guys in your "bedroom" puking in trash cans. Nothing about snatching a helmet at your GQ battle station and finding out some bastard used it in the middle of the night for a trash can.
Nothing about trying to sleep after a night on duty with some idiot running a jitterbug on the other side of the metal wall you're sleeping next to.
Nothing about teaching you a whole new vocabulary.
Nothing about how you have to keep white linen clothing spotless no matter where you go or what you do.
Nothing about learning to pee standing at a 45 degree angle into the wall and bracing yourself with one hand.
Nothing about standing in formation on blacktop at 90 degrees in blue wool.
Nothing about teaching you a new profession making wine out of gallon cans of fruit on the warm side of an air conditioner.
Nothing about how to survive for weeks at a time on nothing but soda crackers.
Nothing about how to eat a meal while the dining room alternates between tilting 45 degrees one way and then 45 degrees the other.
Nothing about how to climb into a laundry basket suspended 100 feet below a bouncy helicopter just to go see a doctor. And nothing about being sent to find the Golden Rivet either! 
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,625 Likes: 5
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,625 Likes: 5 |
just start on her plate after you finish yours.
She'll get the message soon enough.
Marines do that out of reflex. I am betting that if you tried that you would find a fork sticking out of the back of your hand. I believe you married wisely but you didn't marry a wimp. Yup wifey was born at Lejeune! I've learned to dodge lots of flying objects too! Keeps me on my toes!
Founder
Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester
"Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should in their own confines with forked heads
Have their round haunches gored."
WS
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
Nothing about being sent to get:
relative bearing grease
stanchion remover
a bucket of steam (usually during see and anchor detail when the stress is over the top in main control)
standing mail buoy watch in the North Atlantic in January
learning about sea bats
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 213
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 213 |
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,553
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,553 |
Or a bucket of prop wash.
Or 100' of flight line.
Or cool off a hot mic.
Or go find the keys to the LOX bottle.
Airdale stuff
Last edited by chapped_lips; 09/08/14.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,553
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,553 |
36. Add 1/3 cup of Diesel fuel to the laundry.
Excellent list Scott. I have a duffel bag that still smells like diesel 30 years after the fact. TFF. For brownshoes it was hydraulic fluid and L'Air du Kerosene.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,164 Likes: 24
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,164 Likes: 24 |
How To Simulate Being A Sailor
8. Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them. I've always wondered how many sailors knocked themselves out on them hatches?
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,136 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,136 Likes: 1 |
Nothing about being sent to get:
relative bearing grease
stanchion remover
a bucket of steam (usually during see and anchor detail when the stress is over the top in main control)
standing mail buoy watch in the North Atlantic in January
learning about sea bats
I sent many a noob down to medical to get a Pap Smear.
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I'm a big fan of the courtesy flush.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,740 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 15,740 Likes: 4 |
Three man lift 
NRA Life,Endowment,Patron or Benefactor since '72.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,136 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 22,136 Likes: 1 |
I liked it when the Midshipmen would come out to the fleet during the summer. I loved seeing those dummies wrapped up in aluminum foil up on the front of the ship (folksel[sp]),helping us calibrate the radar.
You'd think that if they are smart enough to get into the Naval Academy,that they'd be smart enough to know that they'd been had.
And how in the hell do you spell FOLKSEL? The right way...
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I'm a big fan of the courtesy flush.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
Full word=forecastle. Abbreviated=foc'sl. Sailing ships, that was actually the forward CASTLE used in defense.
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish! ![[Linked Image]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/EvilTwinMar/Sabretooth-1.jpg)
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 39,301 |
Do any old sailors here find it embarrassing that an old grunt had to explain forecastle?
The first time I shot myself in the head...
Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 19,269 |
ARMY Grunts knew how to read At least the Navy and Air Farce made an effort to provide something that LOOKED like food and coffee!
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish!
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