Using the toilet seat replacement one since the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. Won’t go back to no water on the bh.

Actually try not to dump anywhere else now. I know, life changing.

I've never seen one.

One of those french hats?

Set and connected a bunch in high end apartments and homes, never used one

Please take a video when the little ones use it for a water fountain bubbler....

Anyone here use one as a water fountain?

Clean as a porn star

I know, REAL men use barbed wire, right? We don't have one, but I think they're a great invention.

I don't like to bend over that far to get a drink.

To clean fish?

Or clean up that fishy smell?

Bidets are awesome!

Yeah I didn’t think about that one. Now you mention it, it has been a lot less fishy here.

SD23 has decided to buy one for Slavyanka for Christmas. She said many of the reviews used terms like “life changing”.

Did you go with the cold water one {shudder} or warm water? I’ve told SD23 to order the warm water one and I’ll run a line.

My youngest son does. Swears by it.

I have one and it's great. Without getting into the details, it's a lot better to hit the clingons with water than smear them with paper.

If you get your aim just right you can get it to go all the way thru and out your mouth like those cherubs the rich folks have in their water fountains.
Tastes like [bleep].

Visalia6mm: When the VarmintFamily moved to Montana 24 years ago the home we bought had a Jacuzzi bath tub and a bidet in the master bedroom.
I had never used a bidet before and a Jacuzzi bath tub only a time or two.
I have grown VERY fond of both and would not live in a home without them both from here on out!
I highly recommend one to anyone interested.
Keep'in it clean in the Rockies.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

Yes, I bought a bio bidet at Sams club. Heated seat, 3 settings for water temp and a blow dryer for after. It's just the seat model but the install was only about 30 minutes.

Takes more than a spritzle of water to get shît off of my rosetta

I just can’t conceive anything short of 4 good wipes with doubled over paper followed by 2-3 baby wipes.

Just no fuggin way

A clean crack is a happy crack.

+1

Garden hose works great, but I get nastygrams from the HOA.

My wife bought them one year around Christmas... It was about 2 years later I finally installed them.....Best 200 bucks she ever spent.....A roll of toilet paper now last for months...No more monkey butt...lol

This all reminds me of nasty german women who only bath once a month and wipe their armpits and face with the same damp wash cloth they wiped their coochie with for 5 or 6 days in a row.

slumload: YOU.... need to frequent a better/higher class of women!
Sick.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

I sticking with my water hose...

We have them. If you have hemorrhoids you will have far less problems using a bidet.

I gave the DW one for Christmas last year and learned it was......not welcomed.

It is now quietly stashed for if and when....

Crocodile Dundee...

Homos do.

Who hasn’t?

This is fargin war

GTFOH.

Well...they probably do eh?

Not that I have personal knowledge, but yes.

I just use the garden hose out in the yard.

Never had a chance to try one.
Guess we aren't real civilized.


After you flood the region, how do you dry?
A community towel?
Or does your wife keep a supply of ass towels?
What color are the towels when new?

I remember Captain Kirk saying that on a episode of Star Trek.

we have one in the Miami condo. I use it as a urinal. Wife thinks that is barbaric.

The toilet seat replacement models I have seen tie into the cold water supply line for the tank. I can't get past the thought of a satisfying dump being followed up by a blast of cold water to the starfish.

Life beyond the 360 horizon Wabi..


You aint missing nothing concerning a Bidet...

Eurotrashland type of thing...

Same here. Installed 3 last week in a small castle I'm trimming out. Never used one myself, but have Installed a lot of them.

You don't have a kitchen sink?

I thought there was a water shortage, the last gallon of water on Earth is gonna wash your azz??

Put two inexpensive Brondell brands in my house. They are cold water and will get your attention but after having one I never want to do without again. Mine have two modes so that it keeps women's cooch cleaner too- anyone gonna complain about that?

So much easier on the backside and say good bye to...re-visits to get rid of itchiness. Much more hygienic and ultimately a heck of a lot more comfort.

As for using extra water I am betting it takes less to use a bidet several times than even a single re-visit or second flush.


Dillonbuck- you use a lot less toilet paper with a Bidet. Just a few squares to 'pat' your backside- practically no wiping needed.


Funny story- my 30 yo daughter came over and saw it in the guest bath room and wasn't sure how it worked. She walked out of the bathroom slowly with wet forehead. We all cracked up- told her it as not for flossing.

We have them on both toilets. My wife LOVES them and I like them, too. Warm water? If you want that, spend the money for one with a heated tank. If you plumb in a hot line, you'll sit there with cold water turning your butt blue until the hot gets through the line. If you're a ways from the water heater, that can be a long cold wait. I just turned the hot off. It only takes a few seconds to hose it down and it isn't worth the cold wait for hot water.

we do, but pissing in the sink is something folks from min a soda do

had a hotel room once that had a separate one, so you'd take a dump, then move over to the bidet.

I think it needed like that foam brush kinda deal - you know when you go to a car wash bay and on one side you had the high pressure hose and on the other side the foaming brush to get the dirt off.

get down and give your undercarriage a once over with some new car scent

just run away when the "hot wax now" light comes on.

in Kentucky the high society folk take the dishes out first

You're OK as long as you don't use it to wash your face.

It's mostly a problem around Uranus.

Damn, now that's funny! Now I have to clean the hot coffee off of my keyboard.

So you gotta make sure you take a pocket full of quarters when you take the morning dump?

The French use 'em a lot.


Of course, if they showered regularly, there wouldn't be a need......

Here's a good one. You can put a water filter inline with most toilet seat bidets. That keeps impurities in the water from reaching your butt. That's not something I'm normally concerned with. However, we don't have sand in the well that might sandblast the tools.

they need one chest high for arm pits too

Word on the street is Beto O’ Rourke uses one to wash his cooter.

you are correct. LIve Long and prosper !

Cold water on the area in question must be a real eye opener?

Swamp Ass is real. Wipe well and shower daily.

Can you get one that dispenses cold milk.
That might be nice after too many jalapenos!

Some real foofy-doos on here. We just recently tossed out the corn cobs and started using that new-fangled paper.

John Wayne would be mighty disappointed with y'all.

Remsen,

Easy to see who has used one or not?

Bought one after elbow surgery to keep my wife from wiping my ass. No way in hell I’ll ever go back to toilet paper. No more monkey butt, [bleep] in your hand, clogged toilets and stuffed up septic tank from girls in the house, no skid marks, etc. etc. And best of all it ends an excuse from the wife to keep from bumping uglies cuz it sure keeps it clean!

Bought one for the price of two TP packs. Go cold water, warm water isn’t worth it. You’ll save a TON of money over TP.

Merry Christmas you stinky fuggers!

Bidets were one of the themes at deer camp this year. Someone even sent me a Tushy link. It turned out to be the wrong Tushy, but people seemed to really like their bidets.

The only time a bidet doesn't work best is when you don't have running water.

got the wife this one



took about 15 minutes to install and it works ,well hell, I don't know what to expect but its an ass washing sumbitch. Its essentially the jet setting on the garden hose nozzle, but it is adjustable.

I told the wife I installed it, so she gave it a "dry run"' so to speak.

That cold water hit her and she yelled out "aaaaiiiiiii...it made me pee!"

I mentioned earlier that if you want warm water, spend the money to get one with the heated tank. Otherwise, you sit there with cold water spraying up your butt while the hot is coming through the lines.

We can't afford a bidet...

I have to stand on my head in the shower.

Picturing that almost made me pee

<LOL>

SD23 bought one for Slavyanka for Christmas and I installed it yesterday. Sucker is powerful. Seems to work well.

Made the mistake of telling Slavyanka there was a warm water version, and now she’s whining that she would’ve preferred that, even if she had to sit there for 5 min waiting for warm water. :eyeroll:

I guarantee she wouldn't do that more than once.

I'd rather listen to her yell every time she uses it.

If you get monkey butt you don't know how to clean your ass. There is water available from the nearby sink, or baby wipes.

That said, bidets work really well.

My monkey ass is from sweat, not dingleberries.






The dingleberries don't cause any trouble in December.
#followthescience!

Alligators and T-Rexes

If you learn how to pinch a loaf properly you don't need to spray the starfish.

Dogs manage to pinch one off properly for example.

Swing by a Sapp Brothers Truck Stop when you're in the area.

Yeah, they either utilize their organic wet wipe or else rub it off on the carpet.

I just ran the garden hose in through the bathroom window.

Then winter came.

Actually, I just used one for the first time a few weeks ago on a trip. I don't remember where. If it was in NYC, it was to wash the taste of the city out of my mouth, but I think it was in Tanzania, used as intended...

I'm still thinking about it - might be a valuable asset (so to speak) for juicy farts...

My dog butt scoots when the anal glans are itching me thinks. That glan fluid sure stinks.

I was looking at the warm water model online . Its only $20 more but I was trying to figure out how to tap into the warm water since I have water closet. I could put it in the guest bath and run it from the feed going into the sink. Anyways, I was wanting to read the reviews thinking someone may talk about running the hot water line and this is what I found right off the bat

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time I used this was a test run. I lowered my britches, sat down, pulled the handle and... YOWZA! It was like a sharp shooter took aim at my starfish with an icy blast of NOPE. I actually let out a yelp my husband heard from the kitchen and started laughing because he knew what I was doing.

After that I was much more careful, I turned it HOT/CLEANSE so all the water ran down the bowl instead of aiming at me, waited a moment, then very, ever so gently pulled the lever back (between hot and cold) until I felt a warm trickle against my cheeks. With a little more pressure I had a soothing warm jet that if anything was almost -too- accurate, it was aimed with dead eye determination right at my bumhole. I shifted my weight a little to make the water wash in other places too (surrounding vicinity) and got up unconvinced it was great.

Got 3 of them. Keeps the beaver clean and fresh.

Order the correct size for your toilet bowl shape.



🦫

How well does it work with the peanut butter chits?

Dave, you allergic to nuts?

😝🦫