Home
I bought a blackstone griddle for the 5th wheel and am about to season it. Lots of information on YouTube about seasoning and I'm sure there's equal amounts on recipes for cooking. For those who have one, what do you really like to cook?
Serves as burrito reheater and pancake maker at elk camp. Lots of uses.
I use mine all the time. Fantastic for steaks, smash-burgers, fried potatoes, fajitas chicken-fried rice and everything breakfast. Can,t beat it for large volume meal prep too.
We usually do big breakfasts on ours. Burgers,fajitas,even steaks sometimes for supper.
Mostly smash burgers and breakfast.
Any problems with rusting etc? I've heard they require a lot of maintenance.
Get a cover.
Mines a Camp Chef.

It lives uncovered, outside all year long under the eaves.

Never a rust problem...but don't strip the grease off when you are done
Steel.
Let it sit outside, it's gonna rust.
Unless you keep it oiled, covered, and use it often.

Our western friends may not have the same issues.
Originally Posted by chesterwy
Get a cover.



what he said
My main deal......

smash burgers

Gotta be 85/15.......not the lean 93/7

Toast buns like a pro.....

hell......I could put 5 Guys outta business with mine

Then there's the fresh fries.......air fryer of course.....nother topic

You guys ever hear of 'Fry Sauce'

Utahard thing ?????
One of the best purchases we’ve made in the last 5 years. Big breakfasts
I kept my under covered back porch with cover. Still had rust issues. Used the hell out of it the first couple of months. Finally gave it to one of my sons and I think he has given up on it too.
Get an electric skillet for the kitchen. They are overrated and rust like a SOB.
Good grief. Season them like cast iron and don't leave them in the rain. A propane griddle can be pretty useful when you don't have electricity for a month.
Originally Posted by Nebraska
I use mine all the time. Fantastic for steaks, smash-burgers, fried potatoes, fajitas chicken-fried rice and everything breakfast. Can,t beat it for large volume meal prep too.

Let's see a pic of you before you bought it and now... grin grin grin
I use one, works good, I have the smaller tabletop one for camp, seasoned like cast iron.

Some steaks, a pot of beans in the corner to warm up, garlic bread toasting, all in one, breakfast also. Dogs, burgers, grilled cheese, fajitas, potatoes. Easy cleanup.

Kent
We have a 2 burner Camp Chef and friends we camp with have the Blackstone. We cook meals back and forth between the two. Burgers, brats, dogs, sautéed veggies and everything breakfast. I'm usually thinking grill for steaks but was pleasantly surprised with them on the flat top.

Probably burgers and breakfast stand out as favorites...
Does the flat top come off to use a flame grill or is it fixed?
Originally Posted by OSU_Sig
I bought a blackstone griddle for the 5th wheel and am about to season it. Lots of information on YouTube about seasoning and I'm sure there's equal amounts on recipes for cooking. For those who have one, what do you really like to cook?

For myself it's smash burgers, philly cheese steaks, fried rice with many different ingredients, tacos, etc. Here are a couple channels I watch and should give you a start.


Enjoy it. Life is short!


https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCIuJcUNvZCmggVfvQhHMIHg

https://m.youtube.com/c/TheGriddleGuys
Geeze....you guys steam them when you are done?
Originally Posted by ironbender
Does the flat top come off to use a flame grill or is it fixed?

Comes off to clean on the small one I have, it's a griddle only. Easiest way to clean is put water on it while hot and scrape with a spatula as it sizzles, same way we cleaned the griddles when I worked fast food in HS.

Also can flip the top over on the base so the sides are over the edges for easier transport of less exposure to the elements.

Kent
My camp chef has grill racks under the griddle.

Doubt I will ever use them however.
Originally Posted by ironbender
Does the flat top come off to use a flame grill or is it fixed?
On the Camp Chef, it lifts off but you're left with open burners. They make a grill box accessory you can replace the griddle with.
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

Heating my stew in an enamel bowl and garlic bread.

Kent
Originally Posted by Jim_Conrad
Geeze....you guys steam them when you are done?

Guess they are not particularly fond of what left behind.
Man, I wish there was a way I could make a road trip and stop and eat off you guys griddles.

Just reading this has got me drooling and my stomach is growling.

I guess I need one of them------soon!
Good for: smash burgers, stir fry, most all breakfast, fried potatoes, salmon.

Bad for: Wings, pizza, soup.
Glad the daughters got me the three burner CampChef instead of the Blackstone.

[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

With fresh beef


Ya know “the tube shît I get for $2.59 lb”

??



And hey…

Which one is that “tube shît” ? From Omaha that come in on a train car in those big black asphalt tanks?

Help me out Buck



[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]


[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
Originally Posted by tikkanut
My main deal......

smash burgers

Gotta be 85/15.......not the lean 93/7

Toast buns like a pro.....

hell......I could put 5 Guys outta business with mine

Then there's the fresh fries.......air fryer of course.....nother topic

You guys ever hear of 'Fry Sauce'

Utahard thing ?????

Mayonnaise and ketchup. Put them together and you have a condiment that is known by a number of names across the globe, including Russian dressing, hamburger sauce, and salsa golf. But all of those sauces are just imposters. Ask anyone from the state of Utah, and they’ll tell you that’s fry sauce.

According to local history, fry sauce was created in the late 1940s by Don Carlos Edwards, founder of the Utah-based fast-food chain Arctic Circle. Originally called “pink sauce,” the recipe included ketchup, mayo, garlic, and a mix of other spices to create an instant hit condiment that was perfect for french fries. The sauce quickly became a cultural institution that continues to be a source of fierce local pride.

Fry sauce is now available in nearly every diner, restaurant, and fast-food joint across Utah, and a number of other Western states. Given the ubiquity of fry sauce–like condiments all over the world, it’s unlikely that anyone can truly lay claim to having invented it. Just don’t tell anyone from Utah that.


It's now on the shelves at most grocery chains. I just went to a place in Mesa AZ called Mugsy Dogs... On their menu as a condiment.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

With fresh beef


Ya know “the tube shît I get for $2.59 lb”

??

Not really.
I’ll never know

I eat the meat raw, dusted with MSG, lol
Originally Posted by Owl
Originally Posted by tikkanut
My main deal......

smash burgers

Gotta be 85/15.......not the lean 93/7

Toast buns like a pro.....

hell......I could put 5 Guys outta business with mine

Then there's the fresh fries.......air fryer of course.....nother topic

You guys ever hear of 'Fry Sauce'

Utahard thing ?????

Mayonnaise and ketchup. Put them together and you have a condiment that is known by a number of names across the globe, including Russian dressing, hamburger sauce, and salsa golf. But all of those sauces are just imposters. Ask anyone from the state of Utah, and they’ll tell you that’s fry sauce.

According to local history, fry sauce was created in the late 1940s by Don Carlos Edwards, founder of the Utah-based fast-food chain Arctic Circle. Originally called “pink sauce,” the recipe included ketchup, mayo, garlic, and a mix of other spices to create an instant hit condiment that was perfect for french fries. The sauce quickly became a cultural institution that continues to be a source of fierce local pride.

Fry sauce is now available in nearly every diner, restaurant, and fast-food joint across Utah, and a number of other Western states. Given the ubiquity of fry sauce–like condiments all over the world, it’s unlikely that anyone can truly lay claim to having invented it. Just don’t tell anyone from Utah that.


It's now on the shelves at most grocery chains. I just went to a place in Mesa AZ called Mugsy Dogs... On their menu as a condiment.





Hella ya

Slummy should try it back there in the hills

https://therecipecritic.com/fry-sauce/
again

Utah stuff

https://life-in-the-lofthouse.com/utah-fry-sauce/
We (my neighbor) got these Charolais and Angus behind the house here.

They get in their pond and bob around like bumper boats. All stacked up.
One will be shîtting liquid stew right in the pond. No manners at all 🤷🏻‍♂️

Another one will be right behind that ass pipe drinking the shît water 2ft from the pooping rectum doing its thing.
I been meaning to ax him how much he’d sell one of them shît eating bovines 😃



[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
Originally Posted by slumlord
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

Here ya go, a little too well done for my taste and chitty cheese. But a smashburger nonetheless.

I live in south Florida and don't have any issues with it.

Pour oil all over it and let it bake on like you would any cast iron.

Anything you can fry in a pan, you can fry on a griddle.
They are fugging gross in warm weather.

We were hauling water to them earlier. 700 gallon metal tanks.


One of the tanks got schit in. None of them would drink it.


We now have them on flowing water......and they go down to a spring fed pond and schit it up. The water in that pond has to be chewy by now.


But hey...pigs are the dirty ones right??
Originally Posted by tikkanut
My main deal......

smash burgers

Gotta be 85/15.......not the lean 93/7

Toast buns like a pro.....

hell......I could put 5 Guys outta business with mine

Then there's the fresh fries.......air fryer of course.....nother topic

You guys ever hear of 'Fry Sauce'

Utahard thing ?????

Of course.
Wife and I looking at the dispenser beside the Heinz at a Utah Wendy's with truck parking. "What the heck is fry sauce?".

The cashier graves us the "you aint from around here look" and then
explained. We like it.

What about Stephen's hot chocolate?
Best I've ever had. Can't get it anywhere around here.
Regarding smash burgers....I just use a big spatula to smash them.



One great thing to cook on them is shrimp. Skewers or just tossed on. They get a good sear rather than steam in a pan with too little room.
Originally Posted by Jim_Conrad
They are fugging gross in warm weather.

We were hauling water to them earlier. 700 gallon metal tanks.


One of the tanks got schit in. None of them would drink it.


We now have them on flowing water......and they go down to a spring fed pond and schit it up. The water in that pond has to be chewy by now.


But hey...pigs are the dirty ones right??

You have officially lost it...
A flat searing is the magic.

I been doing that for long time in a fryin pan. We just called that “hamburger”.

🤷🏻‍♂️


I be durn



Ok…so what are “sliders” ?


Seen some lesbian Navy gal on a carrier, with a really fat, wide ass…(morbidly obese) talking about Sliders.
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
Chewy water

lmfao

🤢🤢
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
I saw a cow pissing out tha side of an open stock trailer today on a state highway. Too bad a liberal in a convertible wasn’t beside it.
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.


Then pout because their food is covered in schit and they are still hungry.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

You know how people used to smash ground beef into a patty with their hands?

Now they use those hands to make it into a ball, then put the ball on a griddle, and smash the ground beef with a spatula.

It somehow makes all the difference in the world and you can post on Instagram that your husband is making SMASH burgers instead of burgers.
Originally Posted by slumlord
A flat searing is the magic.

I been doing that for long time in a fryin pan. We just called that “hamburger”.

🤷🏻‍♂️


I be durn



Ok…so what are “sliders” ?


Seen some lesbian Navy gal on a carrier, with a really fat, wide ass…(morbidly obese) talking about Sliders.

Sliders are small hamburgers. But nobody wants to tell the world their husband is making hamburgers. "Sliders" sound way cooler.

Do not confuse frying ground beef in patty form with frying ground beef in a ball form that is smashed into a patty.

People get upset.
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.



cows ain't very fhucckkin smart

But the taste good cooked right
We've got a camp chef at duck camp. I guess it's 36". Can cook a bunch of food for 8-12 guys. Smash burgers, ruebens, stir fry, etc.

Have a smaller version in one of our duck blinds. Breakfast sandwiches/burritos are a hit.
Pre-smash burgers.

[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]
A good hamburger and all the fixings is one of the best meals on Earth.




I like the burger cooked just like a steak, medium(rare). But if the beef is questionable well done is just fine....lol
Originally Posted by EdM
Pre-smash burgers.

[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]
Those are meatballs
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by EdM
Pre-smash burgers.

[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]
Those are meatballs

Yeah but wait until the spatula smashes them.
Burger med. rare with this on both sides, piece of havarti or Swiss, bun with butter and garlic salt toasted on the grill, garden tomatoe and pickle, mayo, ketchup and mustard.
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

If I wasn’t 3/4 lit I’d go grill one right now.
Originally Posted by jackmountain
Burger med. rare with this on both sides, piece of havarti or Swiss, bun with butter and garlic salt toasted on the grill, garden tomatoe and pickle, mayo, ketchup and mustard.
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
No smash burgers in VA?
Originally Posted by slumlord
We (my neighbor) got these Charolais and Angus behind the house here.

They get in their pond and bob around like bumper boats. All stacked up.
One will be shîtting liquid stew right in the pond. No manners at all 🤷🏻‍♂️

Another one will be right behind that ass pipe drinking the shît water 2ft from the pooping rectum doing its thing.
I been meaning to ax him how much he’d sell one of them shît eating bovines 😃



[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

And that my friend is why you drink upstream from the herd.
Looks like a Sonic hamburger . Congratulations?
Originally Posted by deflave
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by EdM
Pre-smash burgers.
[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]
Those are meatballs
Yeah but wait until the spatula smashes them.
Will it taste like a hamburger?
It ain’t rocket science.
Refuse to call them smash burgers.
It's the trendy thing with the cool kids, like it's a big deal.

Been making them in a cast iron skillet for years.

Smash them about 3/8" or less on the counter between waxed paper,
with a good spatula. Not room in the skillet to get in there and do it good.

Hot skillet, they only take a few seconds per side.

Sliders are a phooking joke.
Another cool kid thing.

Guy comes to work, bunch of little dinner rolls in a container.
"We had sliders last night!"!!!!

"Why screw around with 5 snacks, make a couple real burgers and eat like a man!"



We helped supply a reveal party (joke, I know.)
Wife was wondering about food.
I bought several packs of Kings Hawaiian rolls,
Roast beef, Turkey, and Swiss. Showed her how to make those stupid
Ladies Party Sandwhiches. They were a big hit. With the women!

When I wanna sammich, I wanna SAMMICH!

Next thing, guys will be bragging about eating "Quarter Sandwhiches".
You know, the ones Mom made for bridal showers or ladies auxiliary meetings.
Smash balls?
Didn’t Applebee’s invent sliders? Wendy’s obviously invented a thin ass crispy burger.
Hello,
This is Randy’s wife. Let me tell you we love our Blackstone. We got it along with the new camp trailer within the last few months. Our first camping trip Randy nailed it with killer steaks and sautéed asparagus and squash. The next night he cooked chicken which was perfect, so juicy and tender…. He cooked it on low for about 45 minutes, covered with a roasting pan. About a week later we did the same thing at home both times it was good.. Let’s not leave breakfast out of the picture, Makes great bacon eggs and pancakes, as a matter fact that’s what we had this morning. Right now I was sitting in front of our trailer in the woods camping with my honey. Happy Cooking…
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by jackmountain
Burger med. rare with this on both sides, piece of havarti or Swiss, bun with butter and garlic salt toasted on the grill, garden tomatoe and pickle, mayo, ketchup and mustard.
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
No smash burgers in VA?

I’m with Conrad, sounds gayer’n aids.
Originally Posted by Hammerdown
Hello,
This is Randy’s wife. Let me tell you we love our Blackstone. We got it along with the new camp trailer within the last few months. Our first camping trip Randy nailed it with killer steaks and sautéed asparagus and squash. The next night he cooked chicken which was perfect, so juicy and tender…. He cooked it on low for about 45 minutes, covered with a roasting pan. About a week later we did the same thing at home both times it was good.. Let’s not leave breakfast out of the picture, Makes great bacon eggs and pancakes, as a matter fact that’s what we had this morning. Right now I was sitting in front of our trailer in the woods camping with my honey. Happy Cooking…
Hey girl
Originally Posted by Hammerdown
Hello,
This is Randy’s wife. Let me tell you we love our Blackstone. We got it along with the new camp trailer within the last few months. Our first camping trip Randy nailed it with killer steaks and sautéed asparagus and squash. The next night he cooked chicken which was perfect, so juicy and tender…. He cooked it on low for about 45 minutes, covered with a roasting pan. About a week later we did the same thing at home both times it was good.. Let’s not leave breakfast out of the picture, Makes great bacon eggs and pancakes, as a matter fact that’s what we had this morning. Right now I was sitting in front of our trailer in the woods camping with my honey. Happy Cooking…

Wives posting on their husbands log in almost never works out well….
We have one at the hunt club. It comes on early bow and pretty much runs thru the 2nd saturday in jan.
Burgers, big breakfasts, hashbrown omelets, crunchwrap tacos, hibachi. We use our a couple times a week. I also like to do thin pork chops on it. It's basically a big frying pan, but makes it easier to feed all 4 of us at the same time. My boys can eat burgers quicker than I can cook them in a 12" cast iron.
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
Oh my gosh, I am rolling across the floor. Because it's all true.

Then there's junior standing behind, reaching between the legs, sucking a teat, and momma schitts all over his face and head. Junior will wear the mask for weeks.

In the dairy barn, the old heifer would be standing in the stanchion with the milking machine sucking away. The cow would cough, and schitt would hit the wall six feet behind her. You did not want to be standing between cow and the wall.
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Didn’t Applebee’s invent sliders? Wendy’s obviously invented a thin ass crispy burger.
White Castle founder invented sliders.
[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

Stir fry or fajitas are great on the Blackstone
I'm in a private campground near Pymatuning lake (24 miles from Conneaut Ohio). My buddy who I've worked with for 20+ years is right beside me won the $500 model at a Safari Club banquet this past spring. We've been cooking on it all summer. It's awesome to cook on but we're on our 4th tank of propane. It sure loves the gas.
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
I saw a cow pissing out tha side of an open stock trailer today on a state highway. Too bad a liberal in a convertible wasn’t beside it.
I've seen that actually happen at a stop light.
Flat tops rock at cooking a lot of food. It’s just a big azz skillet. Big waste to heat up a large griddle for a couple burgers, but what the hell, we’re first world.

The trendy smash burger thing is pretty funny though. Like a skillet cooked burger is something new. Lol.
Originally Posted by FatCity67
Glad the daughters got me the three burner CampChef instead of the Blackstone.

[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

I've got the two burner "Sportsman's" model with a griddle that works pretty good and I can remove that and use just the burners. The griddle works too.
Originally Posted by taylorce1
Originally Posted by slumlord
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

Here ya go, a little too well done for my taste and chitty cheese. But a smashburger nonetheless.



A hamburger with a west coast gay'd up word. Got it, thanks.
Originally Posted by Idaho_Shooter
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
Oh my gosh, I am rolling across the floor. Because it's all true.

Then there's junior standing behind, reaching between the legs, sucking a teat, and momma schitts all over his face and head. Junior will wear the mask for weeks.

In the dairy barn, the old heifer would be standing in the stanchion with the milking machine sucking away. The cow would cough, and schitt would hit the wall six feet behind her. You did not want to be standing between cow and the wall.

I've heard a story or two about dairy work. Glad I didn't ever have to put that one on my resume.

Not to be picky, but ......................."the old heifer".......................a dairyman's term of endearment? wink
Originally Posted by deflave
I live in south Florida and don't have any issues with it.

Pour oil all over it and let it bake on like you would any cast iron.

Anything you can fry in a pan, you can fry on a griddle.


No shît?

🤣 dumbass
Originally Posted by Valsdad
Originally Posted by FatCity67
Glad the daughters got me the three burner CampChef instead of the Blackstone.

[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

I've got the two burner "Sportsman's" model with a griddle that works pretty good and I can remove that and use just the burners. The griddle works too.

It's a nice size reversible that came with the stove. I'd like the larger 16" one they sell separately that fits over two burners and extends front to back. Still leaving a open burner.

That and the large pizza oven accessory.
I have a buddy who's all over the Blackstone. I've had many burgers etc on it. Nice piece but I'm not really sure I get all the hype for the price like a flat iron has never been put on a fire before......
For the small one I have it's the portability, paid 79 bucks for it. And it's much easier to transport than stand burners and accessories.

I really don't need the weber grill or coleman stove, I can make coffee on a single burner on a bottle.

Here's my quick camp setup, can minus the stove/grill.

[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
Love mine. As has been said, Scraping and water clean-up. I also flip my griddle plate upside down when stored and use a cover.Keeps any water from standing on griddle if cover leaks.
Originally Posted by SandBilly
Originally Posted by deflave
I live in south Florida and don't have any issues with it.

Pour oil all over it and let it bake on like you would any cast iron.

Anything you can fry in a pan, you can fry on a griddle.


No shît?

🤣 dumbass

SandBitch can’t afford one.

LOL
Originally Posted by OlderGuy54
Get an electric skillet for the kitchen. They are overrated and rust like a SOB.
Only if you are a Dumb F*ck.
I bought a 22" 2-burner model to keep @ the camper. There's only 4 of us, 9 and 13yr old girls don't eat much so it's really like cooking for 3 most of the time. It's nice to do almost all of our cooking outside and not heat up the inside of the camper.

So far I've gone through 1 20# bottle of propane, but, I did multiple seasoning runs before I actually cooked anything on it.

Breakfasts, burgers, and fried potatoes mostly. I typically prefer a grill for steaks, but, I've done a few on the Blackstone and they're tolerable if you're in a hurry and it's already warmed up.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I have no idea what Smash Burger is

It that a hand-pattied burger, like the 100-200 monthly I pound out in a 4” lid form?

With fresh beef


Ya know “the tube shît I get for $2.59 lb”

??



And hey…

Which one is that “tube shît” ? From Omaha that come in on a train car in those big black asphalt tanks?

Help me out Buck



[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]


[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]

Nah, unrefrigerated boxcar.
I never really had much use for a dedicated griddle even when cooking for half the neighborhood which we no longer do (sadly, as we love to cook). One of the inlaws left one at my place for a few weeks. I never used it. I cook more than half our meals outside though. An old weber gasser or a new viking and do have a cast iron griddle that's flat on one side with raised stripes on the other that I use occasionally. A proper pressed sandwich is pretty good on the striped side and I do more of those than anything on it.
Wife was all “I want one I want one I want one”.

She’s used it like 4 times all summer.

It dies work great for bacon and pancakes. Cook all at once and not in batches.

I’d rather grill my burger.
Originally Posted by Valsdad
Originally Posted by Idaho_Shooter
Originally Posted by SamOlson
My favorite cow move is when they walk right down the middle of a freshly rolled out $300 bale of third cutting alfalfa all the while taking a chit. And when you get done chitting might as well stop and take a piss on it.
Oh my gosh, I am rolling across the floor. Because it's all true.

Then there's junior standing behind, reaching between the legs, sucking a teat, and momma schitts all over his face and head. Junior will wear the mask for weeks.

In the dairy barn, the old heifer would be standing in the stanchion with the milking machine sucking away. The cow would cough, and schitt would hit the wall six feet behind her. You did not want to be standing between cow and the wall.

I've heard a story or two about dairy work. Glad I didn't ever have to put that one on my resume.

Not to be picky, but ......................."the old heifer".......................a dairyman's term of endearment? wink
NOT endearment. Actually polar opposite. Often used in reference to cranky old females of several species. Synonomous with bitch.
© 24hourcampfire