This is beginning to affect my wife in a bad way. Any advice?

Try and get her in a home if you can.

My .02 is they will drain every asset she has then ship her to a lessor facility that will not care in the least.

If you can, keep her home , and do the best you can

She isn’t quite there yet, but I see it coming.

I don’t know your details but have seen it myself woman do some crazy schiit when they get older.

My mother gave her mother 20 years.

It almost killed her.

Get your MIL to a doctor or at least speak to her doctor.


There are maybe some medications that can help in the meantime.


Dementia is way harder on the ones that don't have it.

Lots of older women are semi sane but looking for a pity party

I was bound and determind to out last mine. The tyrant finally had a massive stroke, she ded...

Mine was a good woman. She’d never dream of doing the chit she does now were she in her right mind.

Sad situation when the mind goes

Ok.

Put a tracker in her vehicle, purse and on her cell phone. One day she will not find her way home.

Check her vehicle weekly and make sure it is full and gas. This becomes a weekly check to fill it up.

Doctor appointments, someone will need to make sure that she has and gets to them. That included going into the room talking with the doctor.

Medication that she is on, make sure she has her supply and that they are on auto renew, fill. You may need to fill out a pill box for her so she know what pills to day daily. This could require a daily check. Some meds are morning and evening.

Take away all debit cards and put a daily limit on a credit card. Only let her have one credit card with a. Daily limit that you pick. $300 or under is a good start. Reduced the amount of money that she could lose.

Have all credit card purchased, monitored by your wife. That way your wife will be able to track her. Likes 2 step tracking process.

All large expenses, should be set up for double approval. If that be your wife go with it.

This becomes an issue monitoring bank accounts and transferring money. I suggest you visit with her banker and see what steps need to be in place.

Bill paying, like electricity, phone and such have them set up at the back for auto pay. That way she will not forget to do it.

Good luck.

I have a few friends who are in the same spot now.

Yup ☝🏽 Been there, done that.

If you’re not ultra rich, you basically have to show you’re indigent to get help.

Like Jeff said, the care can be awful.

If possible, keep her home. Share the responsibilities with other siblings - if there is any. It’s cheaper to hire a caregiver to come in and watch her once in a while, so the primary family caregivers can get a respite.

It can be a long haul and everyone’s life can be disrupted or put on temporary hold while caring for the person.


🦫

First and foremost...Keep your patience. Don't say or do anything you'll regret later. Remove frustration and anger from your emotional pack while in her presence. Save it for later.

Mom wasn't "losing it" at the end, but there was a lot of frustration in dealing with so many things, and yes, dealing with dear old mom could sometimes be frustrating and just hard in general. But she never saw that from me, and for that I am very happy. I tried (and do now) look at it as a privilege to be there for her every need in her last year. And am incredibly happy I have no regrets regarding how I interacted with her. I know others who did not do so well, lost their cool from time to time, and they carry the guilt of that heavily.

DO consider getting someone in to help you so you can get a break now and then. It is very emotionally, mentally, and even physically draining.

Is she a candidate for palliative care yet? These people are solely focused on her and her well being. It is a "one stop shop" for getting her health care managed, home visits, and they will also offer counseling and support for both her and her care takers.

Trust me, you will need breaks from this. Try to arrange for that. If you are going to be your "best" for her when with her, you will need time to take care of yourself and de-stress from what you are facing.

If she's in need of medical care....look at palliative. If she is not in dire straits medically, get someone in on a part time basis so you and the W get a break.

Speaking from personal experience, my Mom developed dementia. My brother and I swore and be damned that our Mother was not going to a facility. But in the end she had to. We were simply not trained to deal with the physical decline let alone the mental decline. She fell we didn't know how to lift her without hurting her or us, we got it done. we couldn't tell when a UTI was starting and she wouldn't tell us until it damn near went septic, the list went on. My brother and I loved our Mother and it finally came to the point we could not care for her. At her Doctor's urging we did what had to be done, I can't speak for my brother but I bawled my eyes out when we left her. A week later when I did my daily visit she didn't know me. Something to think about is every care home does not take people with your MIL's condition and those that do often have rather lengthy waiting lists. So you may need to explain to your wife that by the time her Mom is really ready and NEEDS to go there may be "no room at the inn." Your family is on a dark and lonely path and I pray for you and yours, been there done that got the scar.

This has been what we’ve aimed for. It’s a huge challenge but honoring mother in law has been worth it.

She is in a rehab from stroke but I’m pretty sure she’ll be home before long. JeffP is correct you can go broke or be neglected if institutionalized.

The medical industrial complex is anti human

Is your wife her caregiver?
I've told my wife she should concentrate on being a daughter and leave the caregiver role to someone else even though she spent her career as a CNA and a phlebotomist. Push the fact that you seriously feel that your MIL is a danger to herself, have her evaluated by both an MD and a psychiatrist. Keep notes on the stuff she does, keep recordings if she leaves nasty voice mails.
My MIL finally made it into a long term care facility today. It's been a long trip and she finally jumped on the crazy train a few days ago. Good luck, give your wife plenty of support and understanding.

As others have said, get her to see some Doctors.
My Mom, The summer before she died, had the onset of dementia. She had herself convinced that Dad was sneaking in a young MAN to have an affair with.
Everything my brothers and I and The Old Man said we’re lies. We were all covering for him.
Mom’s sister intervened, and convinced Mom to seek counseling in a home temporarily.
While there, I guess Mom saw where this was headed, old folks, memory loss, incontinence.
When she got home, she took a bunch of pills, trying to kill her self.
We were able to save her life, but her motor skills were all messed up, and we had to put her in a home.
I’ll never forget how Dad went in there every day to look after her, feeding her and the rest.
It gave me a whole new respect for a man who I looked up to all my life.
Mom caught pneumonia and died on Thanksgiving in 2003.
The Old Man hung around for seven years killing his last buck (a 7 point), at age 86.
Sorry for the tangent.
Get her some help, and rest assured you and your family will be in my prayers.
7mm

As others have said, there isn't much medicine can do today to slow the scourge of dementia/Alzheimer's.

Attempting to provide care at home is daunting to say the least. Institutionalizing them is both expensive and does not offer the highest level of care in the best of circumstance and can be tragic in most circumstances. If you do decide to incarcerate them, put cameras throughout their room to monitor the abuse and there will be elder abuse. Alzheimer's patients are impossible to deal with and the staff is short tempered - after they steal all her stuff of course.

Sorry, no easy solution here.

My mom and her siblings are going through this right now with my grandma. My mom lives 600 miles away so it's hard for her to be there but luckily her other sisters and a brother are all local and for the most part are all involved. Grandma is a lucky old lady.


It's hard on the people who keep an eye on her. Like watching a little kid who will hide things and dream up crazy stories.

I feel for you went through it, my MIL years ago and most recently with my dad. It is not easy to deal with, try and remember it is the disease, making not her do the things she is doing. It is progressive and only gets worse. Get professional help now!!!

Get her finances in order as soon as possible, which may be hard to do at this stage.

Good luck and prayers sent your way.

watched grandmother did of Alzheimer's now mother is showing signs ( 80 ) luckily wife is professional caregiver . sister and aunt also in medical professionals. but still a tough road .
Alzheimer's is probably the one disease worse on everybody around than the person their self.

Thanks for the advice. I expect I’ll find it very valuable in the coming days.

Right now, she is capable of living by herself. She can’t remember chit, except for our phone number. Every time a thought enters her mind, she calls. It’s taking a toll on my wife.

Wife has a brother and a sister. Sister tries to help, but wife is obviously her favorite. Brother ain’t much help unless he benefits in some way from it. He sells has his hands full right now with his wife and her parents.

She is very frugal with her money. This hasn’t changed. I’m just trying to plan ahead right now.

Thanks again!

Gregintenn, I am very sorry to hear of your wife's dementia disorder. I went through the same thing with my wife who had Alzheimer's disorder. Because of circumstances, I eventually had to place her in a Memory Care facility. Alzheimer's is an awful disorder. My wife suffered a stroke after being in the Facility for 21 months, and after a week in the hospital, died.

I strongly suggest you contact a lawyer and have a Power Of Attorney drawn up so you can handle things on a legal basis that your wife would ordinarily handle.

I assure you, a POA will definitely come in handy and save you a basket full of headaches.

If you live near or in a city wherein there is an Alzheimer's Support Group, sponsored by the Nat'l. Alzheimer's Assoc., I suggest you contact it and attend the meetings when you can. Information there can be invaluable.

I am very sorry about your wife.

L.W.

You have to do what you know you can do and what you can live with.

Me, I knew she wanted to die at home and I promised her that that is what would happen. March of 08 she took her last breath in her bed.

Her and I had many discussions on what to do if she became unmanageable, luckily non of it had to happen and she passed peacefully.

My mother meant the world to me and there is no way I would have let her down.

Exactly.
Dad was 82 at this point, and with Mom as she was, we were afraid she might kill him or something. The 3 of us spent as much time as we could, but holy smokes.
We called Moms younger sister, who came for a few days and talked to Mom.
Margie had a pull with Mom that we boys and The Old Man didn’t.
I’m sitting here crying, and I’ll surely be praying for you and your family, Greg.
Keep your chin up, and remember, He numbers the hairs on our heads.
7mm

Hard stuff to go thru.
BTDT with the wife's side of the family.
Sometimes it will backfire on you when you suggest things for the better of all concerned.
Being a realist and practical for alls well being sometimes is very resented.
Tread lightly dude and let the blood relatives make decisions.

Don't put yourself in the middle.
Just support your wife and those who welcome it.

Bout it IMO..
others MMV....

To be clear, my mother in law is the one losing her marbles. She’s just stressing out my wife.

Sorry about that mistake, GreginTenn. I just caught my mistake a couple of minutes after my post. Thankfully, it is not your wife.

That advice about getting Power of Attorney still holds, however.

L.W.

I just went through this in September. I feel very fortunate for the home we moved Mom into is full of salt of the earth people. The take their job seriously and treat everyone with respect. The owner lives in the community and knows everybody. Everybody is basically treated like family! The owner is also the administrator so she is there every day insuring things are being doing properly so she won't get slapped with a law suit!

Very friendly and the owner sits with each resident once a week to address any concerns or problems that might arise.

My mom we on deaths door. Couldn't walk but a few steps at a time, her lungs were failing her. Had to have oxygen 24hrs a day. Weak. Sick. Just going down hill. Since she has been in this environment she is in better shape now that anytime in the past 2 -3 years. We finally got her off the oxygen, she is walking all over the nursing home making her rounds to see her new friends. It's just a blessing. Her dementia has been manageable but if she gets the least bit sick then her dementia is really bad.

I have the trifecta going on. Dad was been moved today from a hospital to a care facility/physical therapy after collapsing at Thanksgiving breakfast. Minor stroke with a brain tumor. Mom's alzheimers/demetia is getting worse and we're going to insist on power of attorney which won't be a pleasant conversation and my lovely wife just had her 4th round of chemo in battling pancreatic cancer and is sicker'n a dog.

Good luck and hope you can find a positive result. Seems there are some newer drugs that slow down Alzheimer’s, but may be experimental. My grandmother lived with us when I was young after getting Alzheimer’s, it’s a terrible disease and was very tough on all of us. I wish you and the MIL the best.

Morewood, my prayers are with you and your family also.

Tough deal, best of luck to you and your wife. Went through this with my grandparents, mom and now my Dad. The only advice I have is, don't get upset no matter what they say.

Prayers for you and your loved ones, Morewood. Yours is more than a full plate to manage and deal with.

Wow buddy! That is a handful. Makes my conundrum seem minor.

Holy [bleep] bro prayers for real man so sorry this is an insane bunch of [bleep] circumstances!

My late brother’s widow has changed from one of the most intelligent people you would likely ever meet. About last March, she became confused and since then, her mental capacity has dropped off a cliff. My dear little wife is no blood relation but has taken the role of caretaker. She tried to take care of her in her house and when that didn’t work she moved her into our house. That ended pretty quickly when my SIL found me planting some flowers on the side of our house and demanded who had given me permission to tear out her roses and replace them with other plants and she wouldn’t pay for any of it. She’s in a memory care facility and still in decline…

I have my own personal issues going at this time. but damn that's about a tear to my eye , and I'm an [bleep]

Damn, Mwood!

I’m very sorry.

🦫

Find a new wife.

Orphan preferred.

"Dementia is way harder on the ones that don't have it."

A classic understatement to be sure. Taking care of my late wife who had dementia was a living hell. The last two weeks of her life she was literally completely unaware of her surroundings. At the end, her brain just turned everything off and she passed.

You have my prayers for the strength to care for the lady.
PJ

Dad is seeing the early stages of Lewey Body Dementia in my mom. She is on some meds that seem to be helping.

I don’t mean to sound materialistic but get an appointment with a local, trusted will and trust attorney. Use home health nurses as much as you can. But if you and your wife to have to put her in a nursing home or care facility her estate needs to be in order. I’m not sure how laws in other states differ but in AR nursing homes will charge the family out of pocket until all assets are sold to fund monthly rates before billing Medicare. This includes land, homes, any financial assets. They will break you and then bill Medicare. Until that point she will get good care. After Medicare kicks in, who knows.

If her financial assets are put in a trust for your wife and siblings, it can’t be touched after a certain point in time because your MIL would not legally possess them. I know I might sound greedy but dad told us if he ever had to put mom in a nursing home, and there was no trust set up then their home, land, the farmland she inherited from her dad would all have to be sold before Medicare kicked in. So he put it all in a trust along with their house for my siblings and I. Hopefully your wife and her siblings have a good enough relationship to trust each other in all of this.

Just something to be aware of. Prayers for you and your family.

This^^^^

My wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's! We are still functioning fairly well. The meds the Dr's prescribed are helping. I know it's a matter of time, before she will need help beyond my capabilities. We've done the power of attorney. Haven't done the trust yet. Will need to get on that! The hardest thing now is bursts of anger, because she knows whats coming. I have found a hug a telling her I love her seems to calm her down. Things around the house that have always had a particular place just vanish! I play hide and seek everyday. The thing that seems to help the most at the moment, excerise! The days she exercise's are way better than if she doesn't! A family friend has two care facilities, and his wife comes by to give me a break when I ask. Anyway it's just another curve ball in life, we are trying to bat five hundred. Time will tell!

Not sure what state you are in, but it is worth it to pay for a consultation with a Medicaid expert.
Good luck.

Sorry, Heym…It’s gotta be beyond words difficult.

🦫

Electro shock theralpy, Part one.

Thanks will do that also!

I went through this with my Mom. Very bright articulate woman, and it just fell off the edge about age 85. She was still teaching upper division math at UT Martin at 80, loved to teach.

She knew it was coming on, had me sign to be her "advocate" to make legal and medical decisions, said the Dr. son was too brusque, the lawyer son too greedy, the girls too soft and Pop, well, he meant well.

From car keys in the freezer, to exit seeking in a big way, she kept trying to get "home". Pop trying to work his garden, he tied the door shut from the outside, she crawled out the basement window, and was walking down Hwy. 54 center stipe as her guide. Family conference the next day, Dr. brother said best thing was let her get run over, lawyer to busy to show up. Pop was furious when I loaded her up and took her to Memory Care. (6 months later he forgave me, he did not realize how desperately tired he was from trying to look after her, and the bouts of her anger were wearing him down too, but it was ugly for a while...)

We were very lucky that they had enough money from savings and retirement to afford it, not cheap by the way, but she was 10 minutes from my office so I dropped in frequently and never on a set schedule. A couple of years and she passed on. She got to where she could not speak, all she could mange was yes or no, you could see the frustration well up in her eyes when you visited.

When I moved her stuff out, she had light-fingered a couple of hundred spoons and had them hidden all over her room (WTF, over) I guess just her way of messing with the man in her last way to do so.

My fear, is that I am headed down the same path. There is history in our gene pool of outliving the mind, I have terrible recall for names at 68. I can still quote the TN Constitution, but can't find my dang car keys, have had to make a list of crap I need to go to town, the mental acuity is justnot there like it was.

Good luck Mr. Greg, it is a bumpy ride.

having a nutter mother in law is a serious cross to bear. It never works out well for the husband

I'm helping with my wifes mom now.

She was mean and hateful before she forgot she was mean and hateful.

Oh yeah, bitter as hell too.

She don't give me any chit but will cut her only daughter every chance she can.

We have POA. I deal with all her banking, doctor visits and car crashes. We're trying to stop her from driving, that's not going well.

We got her in a rehab facility after a long hospital stay, 2 days later they kicked her out for mistreating staff.

When the time comes and she is forced into a home she will be something to deal with.

OP, hopefully your wife will let you or others help and give herself a break.

One word...

Medicate.

Been there, done that.
The anger and meanness does not go away. It only gets worse until the dementia really kicks in.
Then zombieland.

My neighbor is going through that. She wants to stay in her house and has the means to do so and has 24 hour "care" that really is marginal. Would be better off in a decent care facility.

The house is in need of repair and she won't pay for anything to be done. (Her deceased husband took care of all the house needs and she doesn't seem to have any understanding of how much needs to be done or how much it costs to do it.

Nice lady. Very sad.

I don't envy what some of you must endure. Taking care of my Ma is becoming more time consuming , but she still manages to go next door to the farm to feed my BIL (with MS) every day. The nurses were showing up when they felt like , so my 86 yr. old Ma took over the task. Had to nip her driving excursions in the bud , though! You all hang tough!

That is where we were. My wife was painfully aware of what a self centered, needy, demanding, hypochindriac, BITCH her her Mother was, ever since wife was in Jr High School. So there was no problem. We both knew she could not live with us as her Alzheimer's progressed.

Our oldest daughter has the biggest heart in the world, and decided Gramma would live with her, her Husband, and two teenage daughters.

I warned her that Gramma was not nice before Alzheimers, and had become much worse. Gramma would destroy her marriage and home given 1/2 a chance.

Well, that arrangement lasted about three months. One thing our Daughter could not put up with was Gramma abusing those teenaged girls.

We were all dirty, ungrateful, evil bastards, and dozens of other curse words the day we loaded the old bitch up and took her to a home.

The first home kicked her out after a few weeks for abusing other residents. She escaped from the second home three different times. Police had to intervene, and return her to the home.

The third home was "Grace Assisted Living". They had a double coded entry way, so she could no longer just wait by the door for a visitor to walk in and escape before the door closed.

The staff took really good care of her and were attentive to her needs until the day she passed in late 2019.

My wife's maternal Grandmother died with Alzeimers. As did every one of my wife's Aunts and Uncles on that side of the family. Contracted in their late 70s to early 80s.

Yes, I am a bit concerned for my 65 year old wife's prognosis. She is the sweetest lady around. Our daughters got their giving nature from their Momma.

But when Alzheimers starts eating holes in the brain, all bets are off. I will keep her home and care for her as well and as long as possible.

As an aside, one of our retired workmates developed alzheimers. His wife took care of him at home. Until the day he got a gun and murdered her.

The next day he had no idea why she was dead, or even that she was dead.

They did not even have a trial. Just put him in a home for a few months until he died there.

Alzheimers is an ugly, ugly, condition which I hope modern medicine can soon find a treatment for.

Eliminating her driving is pretty easy if you have POA.

Sometimes you just have to be an azzhole and take the reigns.

My wife. Disabled so at least she cant walk away. Fill the pill box and watch or the dog gets the dropped ones. I accompany her at every doctor visit because she cant remember. Still has a sense of humor but the filter for comments is gone. Lately has been going through the lonely blues, crying over everyone gone. That is part of the dark season Christmas conundrum.

I will keep her home. She was an excellent caregiver for her dad, both my parents. This is a test if myy manhood.

Greg,

I've been involved three times, grandmother, and both my mother and father in-law. A lot of good advice is this thread, especially around estate planning, powers of attorney, and getting on wait lists early.

I want to emphasis just how important tackers can be. Generally it's not a matter of if, but when they get lost, and if they remain physically mobile during their mental decline, how often they get lost, so get a tracker. Along with that comes knowing when to take away the car keys, for her safety and everyone else on or near a road.

Lastly, part of the process is a loss of emotional control and their conversation filters. If your MIL harbored any ill feeling in her life be prepared for her to say all kinds of mean and unkind things, remembering things that never happened, or putting other strange ideas in your wife's head. Make sure your wife's prepared for this as well. Yes, they can get mean. Sometime it expresses itself as violence, times through destructive words.

Best of luck. I wish this on no one.

Told my wife and daughter, when the time comes stick me in a home.


I watched my mother and aunt t try to take care of my grandfather for a few months before they finally got him 24/7 in home care. They still had a hell of a job on their hands. Aunt had dialysis 3 days a week, lasted just over a year longer than grandpa.

No way do I want my family to have to deal with me. I see it as nothing but being selfish by making family take care of me, its not their job.

Damn, my heart goes out to you folks having to deal with this. It’s something beyond my experience. Fortunately, heart attacks seem to be what has taken out most of my progenitors.

My Wife's Mom quickly, after her husband died, started threatening suicide as a way of manipulting her two daughters. Many years before onset of Alzheimers.

" Do what I want, or I will go get the 30-30 and just kill myself."

She tried that schitt with me once. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dared her to say it again. "I will call the deputies and report you are suicidal. You will be sleeping somewhere else tonight."

That was the last time she pulled that crap.

My dad has it, and boy are you correct.

My wife’s father, my mom and her husband all developed Alzheimer’s Dimentia. We tried home care for each but quickly moved them to nursing homes and on to memory care facilities. Without a doubt the most horrible disease we’ve ever encountered. FIL and my Mom the most Godly people you’d ever meet. Hard to remember at times it’s the disease talking and not your loved ones.

Sadly, my mom’s many siblings all passed of AD or Parkinson’s. I’m 68 and it scares the heck out of me. We each have durable power of attorney for one another and our attorney can set up our oldest son w same quite easily.

Blessings on each home that’s fighting and dealing w the horrors of this and each of the sub sets of this disease.

It’s gonna be a hard path for you. Buckle up & I suggest you garner some support for yourself, you’re gonna need it.

Think my dad is getting it

He watches The Sons of Katie Elder about once’t a week.

I said hey don’t be getting all ‘wabigoonish’ on us now ya hear??

I think most people have seen this and it’s tough to see. I hope someone shoots me if I loose my mind. We had the sweetest couple both get Alzheimer’s and both got mean. My mom went half crazy a few years before she passed away and blamed people for stealing from her and blamed my wife for shutting her oxygen off on her when she wasn’t anywhere around. She never went to a nursing home but should have.

A buddy of mines mom would read the same book over and over. He would go see her in the nursing home and when he would get back home she would call him and say how come you ever come and see me. He said one thing she never forgot as long as she lived was his telephone number.

My dads mom had dementia.

She wasnt mean. After a stroke, which im sure didnt help the dementia, she was in a wheelchair.

So she couldn't leave the house on her own, so no getting lost.

She could remember what she fixed for Christmas 30 years ago, but not that i visited a week prior.

She would call me either my , my brother or dad or dead uncles name.

No point in correcting her…..

Quick couple of things I’m sure we’ve all experienced from this. We were counseled to just go along w what the patient says, within reason. Patients love to fuss and argue. They’ll remember nothing of conversation…let ‘em whirl.

Health wise, in early stage a Urinary Tract Infection will accelerate this illness at once. Hygiene is crucial.

Dealing with similar situation..its difficult in so many different ways.
She and my wife were not speaking for 4 or 5 years
Wife started visiting her for brief periods semi monthly, then Mil got sick...had mild stroke.
We learned sorry ass Bil's were stealing from her..( another thread somewhere time)
We moved her in with us in April of 2016...at that time I didnt figure she last 6 months..
My wife became her primary care giver, medical and legal power of attorney, all that schitt....got her meds straighten out and on a decent diet...
Ol woman developed lung cancer in 2019, chemo and radiation, beat it back...in remission. Until october 2022...its back. Small cell ,, chemo again, 30 rough is of radiation scheduled.

Has burned up her brain cells, in my opinion..
Can't remember what she's doing, while she's doing it...
Extreme forgetfulness... completely dependent on my wife. No help from that side of the family. Fugging sucks for my wife.
We've sold and divided her meager property as of 2019.. working to find long term care facility for her eventually. Can't continue with this for much longer.
Has had major impact on marriage.

This.

This is a truism, UTI's push 'em over the edge for some reason. Most of them pass from C-diff.

Hardest thing I ever did was to tell them not to treat her last case, but had she been able to see what she had become she would have agreed. I had not smoked a cigarette for 10 years before the night she passed away, that wide eyed stare, the last ragged breath, the open mouth. It was 2:30 when I called the funeral home after they pronounced her. Slapped my pocket and said chit, I am out of smokes, pulled into the stop and rob and had two packs ordered up till I realized I had quit years before...

Monitor and control her spending. Her bank would probably work with you to prevent her from send money to Nigeria etc.

Ensure that someone helps her take her meds.

Try to stop her from driving.

Get a headshrinker to declare her mentally incompetent and have yourself appointed as her conservator. Monitor her spend so she doesn’t throw her money.

My mom hired a contractor to make it so deer couldn’t go under the house and cause problems. It was open so the could get under there, but not cause problems. As soon as I found out about it I told the contractor to stop working and leave. I refused to pay him because we both new that what he was doing made no sense.

One day when I got in the driver’s seat of her car to driver her somewhere I noticed that try he passenger side mirror was broken and dangling by the wires. So I asked her what happened. At first she blamed me, but later admitted that she did it. So I asked her where and how it happened. She told me but didn’t tell the truth because there is no way it could have happened there.

Another time she couldn’t remember how to drive home, so she drove to the home we lived in 20 years earlier and the people living their wrote out directions to get to her house.

So we talked to her doctor about taking her license as we were afraid she was going to get in a serious accident. The doctor did do what we requested until she overdosed on Coumadin.

The many responses here showing understanding, giving advice, expressing care - very impressive you guys. Thanks.

We have not experienced such a situation in our family - yet - but if/when we do, we will be grateful for such responses.