Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire My mother in law is losing her mind.

My Wife's Mom quickly, after her husband died, started threatening suicide as a way of manipulting her two daughters. Many years before onset of Alzheimers.

" Do what I want, or I will go get the 30-30 and just kill myself."

She tried that schitt with me once. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dared her to say it again. "I will call the deputies and report you are suicidal. You will be sleeping somewhere else tonight."

That was the last time she pulled that crap.

My dad has it, and boy are you correct.

My wife’s father, my mom and her husband all developed Alzheimer’s Dimentia. We tried home care for each but quickly moved them to nursing homes and on to memory care facilities. Without a doubt the most horrible disease we’ve ever encountered. FIL and my Mom the most Godly people you’d ever meet. Hard to remember at times it’s the disease talking and not your loved ones.

Sadly, my mom’s many siblings all passed of AD or Parkinson’s. I’m 68 and it scares the heck out of me. We each have durable power of attorney for one another and our attorney can set up our oldest son w same quite easily.

Blessings on each home that’s fighting and dealing w the horrors of this and each of the sub sets of this disease.

It’s gonna be a hard path for you. Buckle up & I suggest you garner some support for yourself, you’re gonna need it.

Think my dad is getting it

He watches The Sons of Katie Elder about once’t a week.

I said hey don’t be getting all ‘wabigoonish’ on us now ya hear??

I think most people have seen this and it’s tough to see. I hope someone shoots me if I loose my mind. We had the sweetest couple both get Alzheimer’s and both got mean. My mom went half crazy a few years before she passed away and blamed people for stealing from her and blamed my wife for shutting her oxygen off on her when she wasn’t anywhere around. She never went to a nursing home but should have.

A buddy of mines mom would read the same book over and over. He would go see her in the nursing home and when he would get back home she would call him and say how come you ever come and see me. He said one thing she never forgot as long as she lived was his telephone number.

My dads mom had dementia.

She wasnt mean. After a stroke, which im sure didnt help the dementia, she was in a wheelchair.

So she couldn't leave the house on her own, so no getting lost.

She could remember what she fixed for Christmas 30 years ago, but not that i visited a week prior.

She would call me either my , my brother or dad or dead uncles name.

No point in correcting her…..

Quick couple of things I’m sure we’ve all experienced from this. We were counseled to just go along w what the patient says, within reason. Patients love to fuss and argue. They’ll remember nothing of conversation…let ‘em whirl.

Health wise, in early stage a Urinary Tract Infection will accelerate this illness at once. Hygiene is crucial.

Dealing with similar situation..its difficult in so many different ways.
She and my wife were not speaking for 4 or 5 years
Wife started visiting her for brief periods semi monthly, then Mil got sick...had mild stroke.
We learned sorry ass Bil's were stealing from her..( another thread somewhere time)
We moved her in with us in April of 2016...at that time I didnt figure she last 6 months..
My wife became her primary care giver, medical and legal power of attorney, all that schitt....got her meds straighten out and on a decent diet...
Ol woman developed lung cancer in 2019, chemo and radiation, beat it back...in remission. Until october 2022...its back. Small cell ,, chemo again, 30 rough is of radiation scheduled.

Has burned up her brain cells, in my opinion..
Can't remember what she's doing, while she's doing it...
Extreme forgetfulness... completely dependent on my wife. No help from that side of the family. Fugging sucks for my wife.
We've sold and divided her meager property as of 2019.. working to find long term care facility for her eventually. Can't continue with this for much longer.
Has had major impact on marriage.

This.

This is a truism, UTI's push 'em over the edge for some reason. Most of them pass from C-diff.

Hardest thing I ever did was to tell them not to treat her last case, but had she been able to see what she had become she would have agreed. I had not smoked a cigarette for 10 years before the night she passed away, that wide eyed stare, the last ragged breath, the open mouth. It was 2:30 when I called the funeral home after they pronounced her. Slapped my pocket and said chit, I am out of smokes, pulled into the stop and rob and had two packs ordered up till I realized I had quit years before...

Monitor and control her spending. Her bank would probably work with you to prevent her from send money to Nigeria etc.

Ensure that someone helps her take her meds.

Try to stop her from driving.

Get a headshrinker to declare her mentally incompetent and have yourself appointed as her conservator. Monitor her spend so she doesn’t throw her money.

My mom hired a contractor to make it so deer couldn’t go under the house and cause problems. It was open so the could get under there, but not cause problems. As soon as I found out about it I told the contractor to stop working and leave. I refused to pay him because we both new that what he was doing made no sense.

One day when I got in the driver’s seat of her car to driver her somewhere I noticed that try he passenger side mirror was broken and dangling by the wires. So I asked her what happened. At first she blamed me, but later admitted that she did it. So I asked her where and how it happened. She told me but didn’t tell the truth because there is no way it could have happened there.

Another time she couldn’t remember how to drive home, so she drove to the home we lived in 20 years earlier and the people living their wrote out directions to get to her house.

So we talked to her doctor about taking her license as we were afraid she was going to get in a serious accident. The doctor did do what we requested until she overdosed on Coumadin.

The many responses here showing understanding, giving advice, expressing care - very impressive you guys. Thanks.

We have not experienced such a situation in our family - yet - but if/when we do, we will be grateful for such responses.