My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
...when a cabinet full of Knick knacks fell on him.
Curios killed the cat.
Curios killed the cat.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Oh boy... lol
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Where is TLee when you really need him?
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
I got another cat last week, almost wrecked my fuqking truck, but I got em. 😁
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
And a grown rose through out the land, slowly at first, barely audible, then spreading both in scope, and volume.
Deafening, and reaching the decibel level of a supersonic jet. There was great gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments. many of the old, and feble, a some very young perished in anguish. The clergy all joined together to pray it never would be repeated in the annals of time.
Deafening, and reaching the decibel level of a supersonic jet. There was great gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments. many of the old, and feble, a some very young perished in anguish. The clergy all joined together to pray it never would be repeated in the annals of time.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Originally Posted by ironbender
...when a cabinet full of Knick knacks fell on him.
Curios killed the cat.
Curios killed the cat.
Like!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
How are your knick-knacks?
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
what's the punch line
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Originally Posted by ironbender
...when a cabinet full of Knick knacks fell on him.
Curios killed the cat.
Curios killed the cat.
You been talking to Les?
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
A dog walks into a bank and asks for a loan...
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Originally Posted by Beoceorl
A dog walks into a bank and asks for a loan...
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
That is some Roll Tide sheit right there. 😁
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Of course, it is much appreciated here in the Land of Obscure Humor.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
I’m laffin’
Carry on
Carry on
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Originally Posted by Beoceorl
A dog walks into a bank and asks for a loan...
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"
The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."
The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still going to have to ask for collateral."
The dog hands him a ceramic elephant.
Confused the teller goes to his manager and tells him the story. He says "I don't know what to do, I don't even know what this thing is."
The manager says "It's a knick-knack Paddy Wakk, give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Nice!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
You can tell that's a Dad joke. It's full groan.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/29/20
Originally Posted by natman
You can tell that's a Dad joke. It's full groan.
Thank ya. Thank ya very much!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Originally Posted by mirage243
I got another cat last week, almost wrecked my fuqking truck, but I got em. 😁
God bless you, son.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Originally Posted by jaguartx
Originally Posted by mirage243
I got another cat last week, almost wrecked my fuqking truck, but I got em. 😁
God bless you, son.
Wife and I were riding down the road when a cat darts across the street.
"Thump thump".
Her: "Didn't you see that cat"?
Me: "I hit it, didn't I?"
Silence for quite some time...
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Curio cabinet?
A great idea. Young son just moved back in and brought a cat with him. Cookie is allergic, so we have some isolation rooms and she's practicing social distancing. Is there a specific caliber of curio cabinet that will suffice. Don't really want to go for a gory overkill. Just enough to get the job done. Might make for good use of some of my virus bucks. Help here would be much appreciated.
A great idea. Young son just moved back in and brought a cat with him. Cookie is allergic, so we have some isolation rooms and she's practicing social distancing. Is there a specific caliber of curio cabinet that will suffice. Don't really want to go for a gory overkill. Just enough to get the job done. Might make for good use of some of my virus bucks. Help here would be much appreciated.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Gave the preacher a ride one day & we hadn't gone a mile when I saw a cat on the side of the road. Knowing I couldn't do my usual to swerve & run over it, I had to kinda ease over to the side of the road.
Acting distracted, all the while getting closer to the cat & all the time talking to the preacher when all the sudden I heard a big thump. I said oh my gosh, I didn't hit that cat did I preacher?
He said no, but you got close enough that I could nail the sumbitch with the door.
Acting distracted, all the while getting closer to the cat & all the time talking to the preacher when all the sudden I heard a big thump. I said oh my gosh, I didn't hit that cat did I preacher?
He said no, but you got close enough that I could nail the sumbitch with the door.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Sorry, IB about you losing your pussy...Condolences. Beaver 😔😎
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
I wish my cats would die.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
I've always been allergic to cats......
Will be printing this thread off for all cat lovers I know...
Will be printing this thread off for all cat lovers I know...
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Originally Posted by gunzo
Gave the preacher a ride one day & we hadn't gone a mile when I saw a cat on the side of the road. Knowing I couldn't do my usual to swerve & run over it, I had to kinda ease over to the side of the road.
Acting distracted, all the while getting closer to the cat & all the time talking to the preacher when all the sudden I heard a big thump. I said oh my gosh, I didn't hit that cat did I preacher?
He said no, but you got close enough that I could nail the sumbitch with the door.
Acting distracted, all the while getting closer to the cat & all the time talking to the preacher when all the sudden I heard a big thump. I said oh my gosh, I didn't hit that cat did I preacher?
He said no, but you got close enough that I could nail the sumbitch with the door.
I heard the same joke involving a preacher, a gas can, and a jogger. 😁
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
I've run over just about everything in a truck, but cats are VERY hard to hit. 😁
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Out of context jive speak...
"I'd hit that"....
"I'd hit that"....
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Just yesterday I stopped in at several places in town, where I'd been on Monday. The garage door opener had fallen off the visor en route, and I'd forgotten to pick it up when I got to the first store and apparently kicked it out somewhere.
That anyone would have turned it in was only a remote possibility...
.
Worth checking but I have a spare.
Back at home, I was looking for my wife's debit card that SHE lost somewhere, and I found the fallen remote down between the seats.
That anyone would have turned it in was only a remote possibility...
.Worth checking but I have a spare.
Back at home, I was looking for my wife's debit card that SHE lost somewhere, and I found the fallen remote down between the seats.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
OP just got a cyber kick to the nads.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/ONHLeNK.jpg)
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Originally Posted by Reloder28
I wish my cats would die.
They probably feel the same about you. Cats are too smart for some people.
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
Good for you! Congratulations!!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 05/30/20
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
Soak it in gasoline and toss a lit match.
WOOF!!
Soak it in gasoline and toss a lit match.
WOOF!!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 06/01/20
How do you make a dog sound like a cat.
Freeze it and put it through a band saw...... Meeeeeeow!
Freeze it and put it through a band saw...... Meeeeeeow!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 06/01/20
Kind of hoped someone else knew the follow up!
Re: My Cat Died..... - 06/02/20
That classic title dates me a bit. "101 Uses of a Dead Cat"