I'm surprised to read how many people think the .40 is a happy medium in the shootability department.
I know it is subjective but I find the 230gr hardball stuff a helluva lot more shooter friendly than the full house 40's. Especially when you get below 180gr bullets.
Travis
Your experience with the 40 and 45 mirror my own. The 155 grain Gold Dots we were issued were flippy little bastids.