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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 96,121 Likes: 1 |
I loved the Baptist Minister that came to my door with his 6 year old daughter.
Baptist: 'Do you know where you are going when you die?'
Me: 'Nope'
Baptist: 'If you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, you would know where you are going when you die'
Baptist turns to his 6 year old daughter and asks: 'Honey, where will you go when you die'
Daughter: 'Heaven'
Baptist: 'Why'
Daughter: 'Because I believe in Jesus Christ'
Baptist Minister then looked at me with a rather smug look on his face. I then asked him if I could ask his daughter a question, he said yes.
Me: 'Do you believe in Santa Claus'
Daughter: 'YES!'
I then saw his smug look disappear and I said 'Have a nice day' as I closed the door.
"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,292 Likes: 10
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,292 Likes: 10 |
About four decades ago, a pair of JWs came to my front door. I answered the bell in my Air Force uniform. They started their spiel with, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was world peace?" To which I replied, "In my business? Hell no." They left.
The JWs hold an annual convention here in Ogden, Utah (of all places!) and during that week, the city fairly crawls with them. Two or even three visits to each house are not uncommon. My neighbor and I were building a block retainer wall once, really sweating and filthy, when a primly dressed couple of them asked if they could be of assistance. So I handed each of them a shovel. They left.
A JW convention in a deeply Mormon state is fun to watch. Dueling missionaries. Tracts at ten paces: turn and proselytize.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57,494
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57,494 |
We've only seen them a few times out in the country. And years apart at that. Simply tell em we are good, and to have a good day.
Haven't had a problem.
Only one time, did one push it a bit with Dad and Dad had a few words out of the book with him and that was it.
I've heard far worse from some folks though.
We've hunted with a Baptist minister for years now in AK that knows we are Lutheran, there isnt a single thing about religion that has ever come up, other than maybe the first year when we brought his kids a brick of 22 or some such, we got a camo covered bible back in our tent one day in return( we were not always in camp at the same times) But never a word.
I suspect that since all people are human, even JWs have a mix of nice folks and some azzholes just like the fire and life.
We can keep Larry Root and all his idiotic blabber and user names on here, but we can't get Ralph back..... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over....
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,048
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,048 |
I loved the Baptist Minister that came to my door with his 6 year old daughter.
Baptist: 'Do you know where you are going when you die?'
Me: 'Nope'
Baptist: 'If you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, you would know where you are going when you die'
Baptist turns to his 6 year old daughter and asks: 'Honey, where will you go when you die'
Daughter: 'Heaven'
Baptist: 'Why'
Daughter: 'Because I believe in Jesus Christ'
Baptist Minister then looked at me with a rather smug look on his face. I then asked him if I could ask his daughter a question, he said yes.
Me: 'Do you believe in Santa Claus'
Daughter: 'YES!'
I then saw his smug look disappear and I said 'Have a nice day' as I closed the door.
lol My 6 yo daughter told me just yesterday, "Did you know, dad, that there is no Santa?" "You gotta be kidding me! What's Rudolf the red nose gonna do? file for unemployment?" She just gave me her cute little scowl she always deploys when no smart assed retort comes to mind.
BAN THE RAINBOW FLAG! PERVERTS OFFEND ME!
"When is penguin season, daddy? I wanna go kill a penguin!" ---- 4 yr old Archerhuntress
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 20,943 Likes: 3
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 20,943 Likes: 3 |
Jesus said, "As you are going, make disciples, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you."
By the way, in case you missed it, Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,711 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,711 Likes: 1 |
I loved the Baptist Minister that came to my door with his 6 year old daughter.
Baptist: 'Do you know where you are going when you die?'
Me: 'Nope'
Baptist: 'If you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, you would know where you are going when you die'
Baptist turns to his 6 year old daughter and asks: 'Honey, where will you go when you die'
Daughter: 'Heaven'
Baptist: 'Why'
Daughter: 'Because I believe in Jesus Christ'
Baptist Minister then looked at me with a rather smug look on his face. I then asked him if I could ask his daughter a question, he said yes.
Me: 'Do you believe in Santa Claus'
Daughter: 'YES!'
I then saw his smug look disappear and I said 'Have a nice day' as I closed the door.
I gotta hand it to you SH, only you could come up with a reply as perfect as that on the spur of the moment! Well done!
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,659
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,659 |
I tell anyone who comes to my home .... if they are UN-invited and UN-expected they are also UN-welcome.
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much" Teddy Roosevelt
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,979 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,979 Likes: 2 |
I tell them to give me their address and I'll stop by sometime. Probably right after the bars shut down. No takers.
--- CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE --- A Magic Time To Be An Illegal In America---
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303 |
Q: What do you get when you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's Witness ?
A.) Somebody that comes up to your door and tells YOU to fugg off.
GTC
Last edited by crossfireoops; 05/25/16.
Member, Clan of the Border Rats -- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 16,916
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 16,916 |
Jesus said, "As you are going, make disciples, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you." Fine with me. They're more than welcome to observe me and mine from the other side of the property line.
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 1,122
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 1,122 |
Jesus said, "As you are going, make disciples, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you." As a Christian I have to respect that the JWs do as Jesus commanded. I often wonder why it is other Christian religions do NOT follow the commandment of Jesus to go and make deciples I also wonder why it is Christians fought one another in world wars, particular world war 2 where 24 out of 28 nations were Christian nations many of whom were fighting one another while at the same time praying to the same God? The Civil War likewise has me baffled where as an entire nation of Christians picked up weapons and slaughtered one another. In the first century when Christianity was extended to every corner of the globe it was the first time ever in history this had been done. A defining mark of Christianity and one of the fruitage of the spirit is UNITY. Are modern day Christians United or have they caused devisions among themselves? There are more than 9000 devisions. Christians have never before in biblical history fought against and killed one another. There is no biblical reference to this and it appears most modern day evangelists have Reinvented the bible. One Christian religion stands out in accepting the biblical council to love your brother and have not participated in such activities for more than 100 years. Shod
Last edited by Shodd; 05/25/16.
The 6.5 Swede, Before Gay Was Ok
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,407 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,407 Likes: 2 |
I answer the door naked w/ a coyote pelt draped over my head.
mike r
Don't wish it were easier Wish you were better
Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that. Craig Douglas ECQC
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683 |
Whatever happened to the hari krishnas at the airports?
I was thinking bout joining them but they seem as a rare as hens teeth these days?
I'm pretty certain when we sing our anthem and mention the land of the free, the original intent didn't mean cell phones, food stamps and birth control.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683 |
I answer the door naked w/ a coyote pelt draped over my head.
mike r Lmao Pix? Uh no thank you. Oh you made me laugh. Thank you
I'm pretty certain when we sing our anthem and mention the land of the free, the original intent didn't mean cell phones, food stamps and birth control.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37 |
I'm not sure what scared them off, the Skeptics Annotated Bible in the Parlor, or the Ruger Vaquero on top of it. It was the Ruger. Last time they showed up here 2 years ago I answered the door with the 1911 Mexican style and exposed, by the look on their faces you'd a thought my dick was hanging out. They haven't been back since.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 16,916
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 16,916 |
Whatever happened to the hari krishnas at the airports?
I was thinking bout joining them but they seem as a rare as hens teeth these days? I'm thinking declining membership due to: members not only chant a 16-word mantra to Hare Krishna, sometimes lasting hours a day, they agree to abstain from meat, gambling, alcohol and illicit sex.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,236 Likes: 37 |
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 42,642 Likes: 4
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 42,642 Likes: 4 |
Apology accepted. You are a true gentleman and I am proud to make your acquaintance. Porsche73 Larry, THREE different logins now? FOAD you decrepit old psycho!
A good principle to guide me through life: “This is all I have come to expect, standard lackluster performance. Trust nothing, believe no one and realize it will only get worse…”
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303 |
The old queer's sending me PMs, too.
Rick,how's your supply of creepy troll spray holding out ?
GTC
Member, Clan of the Border Rats -- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 29,786
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 29,786 |
Jesus said, "As you are going, make disciples, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you." Oh good, so if you come to my front door and I drive a knife through your lung for being an annoying twat you will turn the other cheek...or do you selectively observe.
These are my opinions, feel free to disagree.
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