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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 5,351
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2001
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lynn,
remember guys don't understand hints. best to be direct and ask him straight up what you did. and do it in person. tom
"if it's got tits or tires, it's going to give you grief, one way or another."
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 979
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Posts: 979 |
There are a number of things a woman can do to a man that can't be fixed. If you haven't experienced them, count your blessings.
Lynn, people can have problems pressing them hard that may have nothing to do with you. Just keep being yourself and let it work out naturally.
WHUT?
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 14,076
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2009
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If a guy is acting like you did something wrong it usually means that he did something that he feels guilty about.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,495
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,495 |
Or maybe had an opinion that he really doesn't understand or disagrees with. Like politics, religion, the color of the sky or whatever.
Good luck.
Retired cat herder.
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2006
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It is hard when the person won't allow you the opening to talk about it.
I would do anything to make it right, whatever it is. Their friendship is of value to me, and in turn I thought mine was too.
But maybe not. I hate to say it, but this sounds like something you probably can't "fix". If the other person is unwilling to engage you with some meaningful dialog, what can you do? It's a bitter pill, I know. Decade-long friends of ours are no now absent from our lives. My wife and I were the Best Man and Maid-of-Honor at their wedding. We still don't know what caused the riff, and since the other couple is either unable or unwilling to discuss it, despite our best efforts, I doubt we ever will fully understand why the friendship ended.
Thoroughly enjoying Alaska since 2001.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2005
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Start it off with some nookie. Then fix him some biscuits and gravy.
While he's eating the biscuits and gravy, offer your apology.
He'll look up with gravy running down his chin and say, "Huh?,...oh,...okay",..then continue eating.
There's nothing a woman can do to a man that can't be fixed with nookie and biscuits and gravy.
That's another sure fire way to go. I'd change it to chocolate biscuits though. It's like kryptonite.
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
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I think she already has the answer-she said there is no sex! I don't know of a single guy that an offer of sex would have no effect on...
I dated a girl once that was a raging you-know-what.. From that relationship I learned a lot about how to "fight" in a relationship.. Here's what I can offer to resolve your issue from one of those fights... If you are not sure whether or not you did something wrong, just make it all his fault, turn the tides and put him on the defensive.. How to do that? Offer him sex. If he accepts-problem solved. If he declines, then you take on the "emotionally distraught, hurt/rejected" feelings and REFUSE to speak to him.. If he cares at all, and wants to mend the fence, he will come a running trying to make up for the problem HE caused (even though you set him up). I know it sounds like work, but I'll bet $100 bucks that this will work.. I'm a guy, I fell for it.. More than once.. Even after I saw the trap, I still fell for it..
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Joined: Oct 2005
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Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 79,321 Likes: 2 |
I dated a girl once that was a raging you-know-what.. From that relationship I learned a lot about how to "fight" in a relationship.. Here's what I can offer to resolve your issue from one of those fights... If you are not sure whether or not you did something wrong, just make it all his fault, turn the tides and put him on the defensive.. How to do that? Offer him sex. If he accepts-problem solved. If he declines, then you take on the "emotionally distraught, hurt/rejected" feelings and REFUSE to speak to him.. If he cares at all, and wants to mend the fence, he will come a running trying to make up for the problem HE caused (even though you set him up). I know it sounds like work, but I'll bet $100 bucks that this will work.. I'm a guy, I fell for it.. More than once.. Even after I saw the trap, I still fell for it..
Playing games with relationships is ridiculous.
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,314 Likes: 29 |
Not really, the last time we talked it seemed okay. I had expressed my feelings on a subject,...
Lynn
There it is.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 21,959 |
Men are not genetically capable of being stubborn. Exactly. Tis a trait only displayed by females... 
"For joy of knowing what may not be known we take the golden road to Samarkand."
James Elroy Flecker
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,919 Likes: 10 |
I'm betting that we're dealing with an older fellow here. Old pharts have a tendency to overestimate their importance and totally disregard the fact that they just could be wrong about something.
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Dec 2008
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By chance if the word MARRIAGE/ RING was ever mentioned, I sure it could have been taken as offensive.  gw
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. MACHIAVELLI
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
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*** Lynn, I accept your apology for whatever it was you did or didn't do or say. I can't remember what it was as I've slept since then. So, let's carry on.  OK, problem solved, now, where's the biscuits and gravy??? *** Seriously, I wish I could give you some good advise, but that's not one of my strong points. BTDT. That's why there are a lot more dogs I get along with than people.
Someday I hope to be the person my dogs think I am . . .
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
Someone once said "a nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves."
Shiloh Sharps . . . there is no substitute.
NRA Endowment Member
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
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Sometimes something that was said or done could be misconstrued. It is necessary to find out if and what that may have been. THAT can be easily worked out if that is the case. It just may not be easy to find out what the act or words were.
Be afraid,be VERY VERY afraid ad triarios redisse My Buddy eh76 speaks authentic Frontier Gibberish! ![[Linked Image]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y222/EvilTwinMar/Sabretooth-1.jpg)
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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How do you apologize to someone for something you did, when you don't even know what it is you did in the first place.
Lynn Rule #1 You must pay much closer attention to your offensiveness. Or you can say what I tell them " Look deep into my baby blue eyes, Do you see any give a ....s ? " Pat
"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a brave and scarce man, hated and scorned.
When the cause succeeds, however, the timid join him...for then it cost nothing to be a patriot."
_ Mark Twain
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,550
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
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Posts: 13,550 |
How do you apologize to someone for something you did, when you don't even know what it is you did in the first place. Speaking for the crew, we don't know much about women. Good because it's a man, and he's stubborn. Lynn Well, if it's a man we don't care so much. 
Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.
Robert Frost
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 986
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 986 |
How do you apologize to someone for something you did, when you don't even know what it is you did in the first place. Seriously. On average it probably would not bug me as much, but I hold so much respect for this person, it is just driving me nuts.
Lynn Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you! That's what women tell me. I think most men would appreciate a direct approach. Tell him that it seems you may have offended him but don't understand how. Ask "what did I do?" and "How can I fix it?"
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,827 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,827 Likes: 1 |
Lynn,
Just tell him that you are very sorry for what you did that hurt him ...
No explanation, questions, qualifications, or excuses. Just, "I am sorry."
I believe you to be a sincere and honest person ... you are not lying by apologizing to someone even when you have done nothing wrong to apologise for.
Because, you ARE "sorry" that someone you dearly regard has taken offense to you.
If that person is worth it, you need to take a step that they are incapable of taking.
good luck -
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,825
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2007
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Rule number 1 . . . Don't ask a bunch of redneck guys to play Ann Landers -- all you're ever gonna get is bad advice.
Too many people buy stuff they don't want, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,389
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,389 |
How do you apologize to someone for something you did, when you don't even know what it is you did in the first place.
Lynn Rule #1 You must pay much closer attention to your offensiveness. Or you can say what I tell them " Look deep into my baby blue eyes, Do you see any give a ....s ? " Pat When did you meet my wife?
I'm not cheap, I'm frugal. ![[Linked Image]](http://militarysignatures.com/signatures/member501.png)
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