My folks did a will ten years before they died. The will had problems in language to start with, was never updated, and after my stepdad died, my mom lied and turns out she didn't know where it was anyway, couldn't remember the attorney, etc etc etc.
My STEPBROTHER knew. Never told me. He also knew where the POAs were, which I needed when Mom was non compos mentis.
My biggest mistake was, in 2006, me and stepbrother were issued POA copies. But at that time, both folks were vibrant. So I looked at it, filed it, and it sat 18 inches away from me for ten years, completely forgotten until after my mom died and my stepsister thought to mention stepbrother had copies of the POA and had told all the other steps. But not me.
I'd just had three years of wearing a groove in the highway, trying to keep Mom's empire from collapsing. None of the steps participated excepit by phone, and the one that told me not to bother him about things, HE was the one with the POAs.
And......
When I contacted the firm that had done the POA, they had a copy of the will....
And,
The will named myself and my best-beloved stepbrother as CO EXCECUTORS.
The worst, stupidest thing you could ever do to your kids, is to name more than one person as executor. Because BOTH need to sign everything. And the jerkwad who was nowhere to be found, no help when it mattered, then gets to be boss.
Bottom line, if you hate your family, don't do a will. If you REALLY hate them, appoint more than one executor.
