It only becomes 'our' if you allow it. Of course most men are defeated, it's the times we live in.
In 'our' marriage its 'our' money - we're working as a team.
I've seen a lot of marriages where it was 'mine and hers' (or 'mine and his') and seems like a much higher percentage went sideways.
My paternal grandparents celebrated 77 years together a few months ago (the maternal side only made it to about 70 years before granddad died) and the concept of 'his and hers' was something none of them could understand.
I guess you can believe I'm 'defeated' if you so choose, but after 27 years with the same woman I have a very different opinion of the situation.
