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Graduating is overrated.

Think of it, you fail a few times and get to hang around the cute young girls longer. A lot of them will think you're hot because you're an "older" guy. Of course, there's that rebel thing going for you too! It's like this: You failed. You bucked the system. You stuck it to the man! In no time, you'll be screaming, "Get me a leather jacket!!"

But there are a couple of things to keep in mind. Times change. You will get older and may not be attracted to many of the young teenies anymore. Now's the time to move on to a hot looking teacher! The good looking ones will want you because they are not much older than you. There's also the excitement of robbing the cradle. Hey man, you're lookin' good! They're less intimidating too because you've been around the block!

After eight or nine years of high school, you will have learned what many credentialed folk discovered early in their teaching careers - 'tis better to remain ensconced within the walls of Monty Hall High. Out in the real world, life can be tough!

Ah-ha! Teachers get long summer breaks, professional development days and all the holidaze off! They earn tenure and are respected by others. They easily qualify for mortgages and car loans too.

But what's that you say? You're not bright enough to earn a degree? No worries! Date an older teacher. Look for one that's a little past her prime. Make her feel young again! She'll put you in touch with the right folks and soon you'll be working as the school custodian!

I know what you're thinking, but hear me out. You'll still get those long summer breaks, professional development days and all the holidaze off too, but without all the studying, exams, etc. And you'll earn tenure. Remember, you're a union man now!

Yes, a quick roll in the hay with a forty or fifty year old English teacher can pay off big time. It really is an investment in education and your future. And just think, there are no student loans to pay back!

Just mull it over for a while and you'll see the light. That's the calibre of man they're looking for!