|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303
Campfire Kahuna
|
OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303 |
WHY PARENTS DRINK The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick. So he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello"
'Is your daddy home?' '
Small voice whispered, 'Yes, but he's out in the garden '
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, ' No ' So the boss asked, 'Well, is your Mommy there?' 'Yes - she's out in the garden too.' The boss then asked; 'May I talk with her?' Again the reply - ' No '
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
'No, he's busy.' whispered the child. 'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog men.'
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, 'What's that noise?'
' It's a helicopter.' answered the whispering voice. 'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
'The search team just landed a helicopter. '
'A search team?' said the boss. 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with A muffled giggle.... 'ME'
Member, Clan of the Border Rats -- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,724 Likes: 30
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,724 Likes: 30 |
Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573
Campfire Outfitter
|
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,573 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,217 Likes: 36
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,217 Likes: 36 |
Oh Cross that was Damn funny!
Describes my second granddaughter to a tee.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683
Campfire Ranger
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 20,683 |
yeppers good stuff
and how many of us with kids have prayed with all our might that our child be safe.....so we could whup the azz offa them once we found out they were ok?
I'm pretty certain when we sing our anthem and mention the land of the free, the original intent didn't mean cell phones, food stamps and birth control.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,496
Campfire Ranger
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,496 |
Retired cat herder.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303
Campfire Kahuna
|
OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 53,303 |
I'll be back,
...with this one in a couple of years.
we could damn sure use a little more levity.
GTC
Member, Clan of the Border Rats -- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605
Campfire Ranger
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,605 |
A serious student of the "Armchair Safari" always looking for Africa/Asia hunting books
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 67
Campfire Greenhorn
|
Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 67 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,514
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,514 |
Best one I've heard in a long time!
Bob Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date. ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
I'll be back,
...with this one in a couple of years.
we could damn sure use a little more levity.
GTC Got that right Sir and I seem to have run out of fresh material.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,104
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,104 |
can see this happening with my grands..
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,912
Campfire Regular
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,912 |
yep heard it before but always brings a laugh. Those of us with kids can almost see it happening.
There are no problems that cannot be resolved by the suitable application of high explosive.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,193 Likes: 18
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,193 Likes: 18 |
Got a chuckle there, thanks.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,750
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,750 |
Hope you're old enough to remember...that's Andy Griffith quality. Good clean humor never gets old.
Thanks
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 727
Campfire Regular
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 727 |
I thought this was a post about long forgotten cigarettes. Wondered what it had to say about them.
Respects, Richard
Cat, the other white meat!
|
|
|
|
685 members (06hunter59, 10gaugemag, 007FJ, 01Foreman400, 10Glocks, 70 invisible),
2,982
guests, and
1,324
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,193,642
Posts18,512,297
Members74,010
|
Most Online11,491 Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|