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If I had that guys/,hat/boots/girlfrend ? and he had a feather in his A$$ We would both be plumb tickled.

So broke you cant even pay attention.

GB1

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When something's broke it's jillflirted.
If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we would all have a merry Christmas.

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Grinning like a mule with a mouth full of Yellowjackets.

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Originally Posted by rost495
Originally Posted by OrangeOkie
"Lord willing and the Creek don't rise." Refers to the uprising of the Creek indian nation, not a stream of water.
I did NOT know that about Creek Nation.


It came from a letter written by President James Madison to someone else regarding an important meeting.



"Slicker'n the green ring around a snake's ass."

"Hoss high, pig tight, and bull strong"

"Uglier than homemade sin"

"Dumber than a bag of hammers"

"He's about as sharp as a marble"

"Use yer head for somethin' other than a hat rack!"

"He ain't got the sense God gave a Billy Goat."

"My boobs are sore, my dress is tore, and I ain't gonna do it for a quarter no more!"



Ed





"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell



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Drunker than Ted Kennedy!


America, Our Country and we’re taking it back.
IC B2

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Campfire Kahuna
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On time a kid and I were trying to stuff a 30x40' tarp in the back of a van on a windy day. I said it was like mud wrestling a fat girl. No way to get a grip. He gave me a really dirty look. Then a few days later, I saw his wife. 5' tall and every ounce of 300lb.


“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell

It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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MR ducks
MR not
OSAR
C M wangs
LIB MR ducks



My mother wrote this on a chalk board in the school cafeteria and offered a free ice cream if any of the kids could read it correctly.

Nobody won...

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And another:

I'd like to buy that som bitch for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks....

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CA: Are you stupid, or just stoned?

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Yankee slang: How much snow did ya git.
Answer: It's azz hole deep to a 7 ft. Indian.

IC B3

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Originally Posted by R_H_Clark


So bucked toothed she could eat corn through a screen door.


I heard it referring to a woman's teeth:

she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence!

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Quit rollin your eyes like a sick calf in a hail storm. (uncle)
Son, you need that like a hog needs a side saddle. (mother)
As difficult as pushing a chain.
You shoulda been here tomorrow. (fishing guide)

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Slicker than fish eels fu*king in a barrel of snot.

As drunk as a pied eyed ni**er.


"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
Thomas Jefferson

GeoW, The "Unwoke" ...Let's go Brandon!

"A Well Regulated Militia" Life Member

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Quieten down!

Catchya back



I grew up hearing "See ya later, alligator. After while, crocodile."

My Alabama-ish first wife insisted it was "See ya later, alligator. Catchya back,crocodile."

I was always like "That's not even a thing!"


National Rifle Association - Patron Member
National Muzzleloading Rifle Association - Life Member and 1 of 1000
Illinois State Rifle Association - Life Member
Carlinville Rifle & Pistol Club
~ Molɔ̀ːn Labé ~
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What in the SamHill are you doing

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We all you all

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It's fixing to come a frog strangler.

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Originally Posted by hanco
What in the SamHill are you doing


I've heard what in the "Sam Hell" are you doing.

From Momma, "Son, don't be ugly" grin


Trump Won!
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Sam Hill was a man, notorious for his cursing. My grandmother used to say this to me a lot.

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You better mind your p's and q's

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