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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 853
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 853 |
He has a little slack in his steering wheel.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 366
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 366 |
"blacker than Toby's touch hole"
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 440
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 440 |
Harder than the back of God's head.
I ain't felt this bad since the rats ate my sister.
If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
I'd drag my "belly" over fifty yard of broken glass just to "hug" her after three sets of tennis.
Larapin' good truck! I love Arkansas Sop!
Never force it, just get a bigger hammer.............
if it's stuck....force it....if it breaks it needed fixin' anyways.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13
Campfire Sage
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Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 Likes: 13 |
My favorite southern slang is:
"I'm glad I don't have a job so I can stay home and [bleep] my brother all day."
Dave
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,735 Likes: 3
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 5,735 Likes: 3 |
My dad always called the big rocks in the logging roads, colored black from the tires, n I --er heads! More blank heads on that road than you can shake a stick at!
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 25,136 Likes: 1
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 25,136 Likes: 1 |
My favorite southern slang is:
"I'm glad I don't have a job so I can stay home and [bleep] my brother all day."
Dave Wow. I hope your brother escaped? Lol.
“Life is life and fun is fun, but it's all so quiet when the goldfish die.”
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258 |
Told my younger son who was about 4 yo to tell mom when he got home that "he was hungry enough to gnaw the tail off a skunk".
caught some "serious schitt" over that one.
Ed
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes the person who never asks is a fool forever.
The worst slaves are those that put the chains on themselves.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258 |
MR ducks
MR not
OSAR
C M wangs
LIB MR ducks
My mother wrote this on a chalk board in the school cafeteria and offered a free ice cream if any of the kids could read it correctly.
Nobody won...
MR snakes MR not OSAR CM EDBDI's LIB MR snakes Ha!!!! 
Ed
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes the person who never asks is a fool forever.
The worst slaves are those that put the chains on themselves.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 42,919 Likes: 13
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 42,919 Likes: 13 |
Racist sounding but that's what we southerners are all suppose to be any way...
Happier than a N*&^R with a $95 Cadillac
"Minus the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the Country" Marion Barry, Mayor of Wash DC
“Owning guns is not a right. If it were a right, it would be in the Constitution.” ~Alexandria Ocasio Cortez
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,009
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,009 |
Want in one hand and chit in the other and see which one fills up first.
Hard to soar with the eagles when I'm down here scratchin wid the chickens.
Does a chicken have lips?!
I'll hit ya so hard your momma'll fall over.
"An open message for all Democrats; "Look you are nothing and your work is worthless. Anyone who chooses you is detestable."
Isaiah 41:24 (HCSB)
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
Haven't had the pleasure of reading all 10 pages yet so if these have been posted already, please forgive:
Hotter'n 2 rats screwin in a wool sock
I'm as tired as a 1-legged man in an @$$ kickin contest
He's got a little sugar in his gas tank
Happier than a tornado in a trailer park
Last edited by philgood80; 12/15/16.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
Once knew an old codger that on really hot days would say:
Boy, I'd sell a dead relative for a cold beer right about now!
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 19,131 Likes: 4 |
Had a neighbor that like his drink a lot. Hit me up one time for a drink of whiskey. Told me "I am so thirsty, I would drink with a hare-lipped nagger and let Him have the first drink." miles
Last edited by milespatton; 12/15/16.
Look out for number 1, don't step in number 2.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
I have a friend whose mother would tell her:
I'm gonna beat your @$$ till your nose bleeds.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,039 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,039 Likes: 6 |
Not southern, heard when I moved to Wyoming.... "How's the weather"? "Clear and still..... clear up to your ass, and still snow'n"!! memtb
You should not use a rifle that will kill an animal when everything goes right; you should use one that will do the job when everything goes wrong." -Bob Hagel
“I’d like to be a good rifleman…..but, I prefer to be a good hunter”! memtb 2024
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,039 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,039 Likes: 6 |
She's so ugly, looks like her face caught fire an they put it out with a track shoe! memtb
You should not use a rifle that will kill an animal when everything goes right; you should use one that will do the job when everything goes wrong." -Bob Hagel
“I’d like to be a good rifleman…..but, I prefer to be a good hunter”! memtb 2024
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 14,833 Likes: 10
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 14,833 Likes: 10 |
My personal favorite is: "That's fricked up like an old nagger bicycle."
Last edited by JoeBob; 12/16/16.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
My hunting buddy has a lot of them but a couple favorites are:
On something he really doesn’t want to do: “I’d rather stand inside a phone booth and jerk off a bobcat with a handful of red hot BB’s.”
On bad luck: “I swear if it was raining pussy I’d get hit with a dick.” On something he didn't want to do a Marine buddy of mine would say: I'd rather drink kerosene and go piss on a brush fire. A friend of mine says: I'd rather jerk off a grizzly with a handful of cockleburs.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
Some more I keep thinking of:
Either "unloosen" that bolt/screw OR "untighten" it. Guaranteed to do it wrong if you take them literally.
In August in central Arkansas you might hear: "someone's done put the heat on hell.
On an idiot: "he couldn't find his a-hole if he had flashlights for fingers.
Shakin / Sweatin like a hillbilly trying to read.
Last edited by philgood80; 12/16/16.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,728 |
My buddy born in the Mississippi Delta "I'm fu**ing this cat, you just hold the paws." Often shorten to "I'm fu**ing this cat."
Means I want your help, not your opinion. Born and raised in Mississippi, I know too many of these to begin writing down. Friend from Poyen, AR would say "I'm eatin this possum. You just watch for cars!"
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan
For why should my freedom be judged by another man's conscience? - 1 Corinthians 10:29
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