Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Navy guys ... true story (funny, at Air Force expense ;)

Hey, guys,

My grandfather was a career Air Force officer, and the last few years of his career (back in the 70's) he was stationed at Charleston, SC, where there's also a large Navy presence. One day at one of the military golf courses, two cars were in a small fender bender. The Air Force major who had actually caused the accident jumped out of his car, and said to the other driver "I'm Major _____, what's your rank?" The other guy replied "Captain." The Major said "Well, I guess we know whose fault this accident is then!" To which the other guy replied, "Captain, USN."

The Major said "It was my fault sir."

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hadn't thought of that in years, but just remembered my grandfather telling me that and laughing his a$$ off. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Liam

Yeah, It does get confusing at times!

I remember being fresh from boot camp and stationed at Treasure Island.(enlisted) I walked past a marine full-bird colonel without saluting. He jumped by azz to be sure, and when I told him that marines all looked alike to me, he just laughed! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I supposed he could have made my life miserable had he not been what I consider a "quality" officer! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> He did explain where to look and what to look for. I should have known, they covered that well in boot camp! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Did I mention the Colonel was BLACK!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thats TFF........... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

When I was in Hospital Corpsman School, in beautiful Great Lakes Illinois, I walked by a Female Lieutenant Commander Nurse. Being the nice fellow I was I said "Hi", waved, and continued walking. I had never seen a female Navy Officer in my life. She let me know real quick that I needed to salute her. I snapped to and did so saying "Good morning Maam. " I could never bring myself to call a Female Officer "Sir". It was going to be a rough tour for this Swabbie. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Oh yeah........the Officer turned out to be our Company Nurse. Geez...what luck huh? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Jim

+1 Our battle staff that flew on our airborne command post were joint service. We had squids, jarheads, grunts and airforce personal onboard. The airforce owned the airplanes. Kinda cool watching an airforce captian (aircraft commander) telling a navy captian how some things were gonna be done.

Then you have the commander/ lt. commander, jg this/jg that. Whats that all about ???? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The services do have there differences and I always enjoy this.

USN or USAF? by Bob Norris

Bob Norris is a former Naval aviator who also did a 3 year exchange tour flying the F-15 Eagle. He is now an accomplished author of entertaining books about US Naval Aviation including "Check Six" and "Fly-Off". Check out his web site at his web site. Click Here. In response to a letter from an aspiring fighter pilot on which military academy to attend, Bob replied with the following.

12 Feb 04

Young Man,

Congratulations on your selection to both the Naval and Air Force Academies. Your goal of becoming a fighter pilot is impressive and a fine way to serve your country. As you requested, I'd be happy to share some insight into which service would be the best choice. Each service has a distinctly different culture. You need to ask yourself "Which one am I more likely to thrive in?"

USAF Snapshot: The USAF is exceptionally well organized and well run. Their training programs are terrific. All pilots are groomed to meet high standards for knowledge and professionalism. Their aircraft are top-notch and extremely well maintained. Their facilities are excellent. Their enlisted personnel are the brightest and the best trained. The USAF is homogenous and macro. No matter where you go, you'll know what to expect, what is expected of you, and you'll be given the training & tools you need to meet those expectations. You will never be put in a situation over your head. Over a 20-year career, you will be home for most important family events. Your Mom would want you to be an Air Force pilot...so would your wife. Your Dad would want your sister to marry one.

Navy Snapshot: Aviators are part of the Navy, but so are Black shoes (surface warfare) and bubble heads (submariners). Furthermore, the Navy is split into two distinctly different Fleets (West and East Coast). The Navy is heterogeneous and micro. Your squadron is your home; it may be great, average, or awful. A squadron can go from one extreme to the other before you know it. You will spend months preparing for cruise and months on cruise. The quality of the aircraft varies directly with the availability of parts. Senior Navy enlisted are salt of the earth; you'll be proud if you earn their respect. Junior enlisted vary from terrific to the troubled kid the judge made join the service. You will be given the opportunity to lead these people during your career; you will be humbled and get your hands dirty. The quality of your training will vary and sometimes you will be over your head. You will miss many important family events. There will be long stretches of tedious duty aboard ship. You will fly in very bad weather and/or at night and you will be scared many times. You will fly with legends in the Navy and they will kick your ass until you become a lethal force. And some days - when the scheduling Gods have smiled upon you - your jet will catapult into a glorious morning over a far-away sea and you will be drop-jawed that someone would pay you to do it. The hottest girl in the bar wants to meet the Naval Aviator. That bar is in Singapore.

Bottom line, son, if you gotta ask...pack warm & good luck in Colorado.

Banzai

PS Air Force pilots wear scarves and iron their flight suits.

You were DARNED lucky that guy had a sense 'o humor.. Must have been an officer that came up from the ranks instead of OCS..

In 23.5 years of USAF service I have never seen a USAF officer chew anyone out for not slauting him/her.

Nor have I ever seen the spit and polish USAF flying operation Bob Norris describes, though I would have liked to. In fact, his description of Navy units sounds much more like the various flying squadrons I have been in than his description of Air Force units. Then again, he was only in the USAF for three years, so what do you expect............................

My favorite Air Force/Navy story.

In the first days of the space program, NASA orbited [bleep] to see if space was safe for living creatures. Then the first manned flights of the Mercury program had Navy astronauts. When it seemed safe for humans, Air Force astronauts flew.

It's a little known fact that the first Gemini flightcrew was composed of a [bleep] and a Navy astronaut. Soon after liftoff, the [bleep] took off its helmet, looked inside then put it back on. Soon after they got to orbit, the [bleep] again took off its helmet, looked inside and put it back on.

One orbit later, the [bleep] took its helmet off yet again. By now both miffed and intrigued, the Navy astronaut took the [bleep]'s helmet away. Inside was taped a note: "Every four hours, feed the Navy guy."


Now my favorite (and true) story about rank. When I was an Air Force instructor pilot, one of my students had the first name of "General." (Honest, he carried a photocopy of his birth certificate to prove it.)

Before a cross country flight to an extremely busy and notoriously snooty base one time, I wanted to get a little arrival priority. I called Base Ops and said I'd be arriving at such and such a time and would like ramp parking and refueling priority.

"Your rank, sir?"

"I'm an Air Force captain."

"I'm sorry, sir. You hardly qualify for any priority at all."

"But I'm flying in with Lieutenant General Smith," I blithely said.

When we got there in our loud and very tiny T-37 trainer, we were greeted by a parade of blinking light vehicles, were parked directly in front of Base Operations, and so help me, they had a red carpet and the base commander waiting for us.

My student and I climbed out. The base commander was less than amused.

When my student produced his birth certificate, the bird colonel spluttered and turned red with rage. But he was flummoxed. I had NOT lied!

I was assigned to the USS Constellation after "peace" was declared in Viet Nam. I was sitting in our office space fairly late one evening, writing a letter home, when the phone rang. Being distracted, I just picked it up and said "Hello."

Right away, the caller said, in a very indignant manner, "Is that the proper Navy way to answer the phone? Do you know who this is? This is Ensign Owen!"

Just as indignantly, I responded, "Do YOU know who THIS is?"

The sheepish response was, "No, Sir, I don't."

My answer, "Then f--- you!"

Shortly after I left the office, I heard the sound of running feet but I never looked back.

Taiwan 1958, pitch black night. Chickenshitt 1st Lt. chewed me out for not saluting him. Hell, I could hardly see him let alone recognize his rank.

Paul

Good stuff guys.

I never chewed anyone out for not saluting, either.

But one time, I had an airman rather pointedly NOT salute me on a sidewalk. I stopped him and gently reminded him that a salute is required, and that some other officer might take it worse than I did to be ignored.

He groused that he had to salute officers at all.

I said, "Airman, think of it this way. You have to salute officers. I have to salute EVERYBODY."

He grinned when he realized the truth of it. Then he snapped me a crisp one and said, "Take that, sir!" I outcrisped him.

I was waiting for a MAC flight (space avail flight) out of Germany one time. Walking point A to point B, and carrying luggage off of each shouler and in my hands. Had this cute but bitchy little Air Force Lt. Approach from the other direction. Said "Mornin' Mam" but did not salute (as regs allow when not practical, i.e. hands full). She proceeded to throw a hissy about not getting her salute. I said, "Okay mam, sorry about that, but I'm within regs to not salute when my hands are full. But, if a salute is that important to you, I'll give you one, " and made production out of getting all the crap off me so I could render a proper salute, along with the best "you couldn't carry an Army Sgt's jock strap" look I could muster up.

Little wet behind the ears twit was beside herself over this insubordinate Army Sgt. Love it when you can put the officer chicks at a loss for words! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Zoomies. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Just something not quite right about a miltiary branch that lets guys walk around with umbrellas. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

You want to talk confusing though...when I was in Germany, I was part of a multi-national NATO unit. Commander was German, my First Sergeant was Belgian, guys on my shift were Dutch, German, American, and Belgian. Talk about needing a cheat sheet to figure out all the ranks! It was kind of nice though, because the Army could't do anything with us without first getting a "release from international duty" signed by the Dutch commander in Belgium. Translated to mean no organized PT or any other Army function. Kinda nice for a change.

[quote Taiwan 1958, pitch black night. Chickenshitt 1st Lt. chewed me out for not saluting him. Hell, I could hardly see him let alone recognize his rank.[/quote]

We had one guy who got his azz reamed, not for saluting the officer but for where his eyes were before the salute.. SHE was a darn fine lookin' ensign and HE was staring at her single gold bar on the sleeve while SHE thought HE was lookin' at her legs...

They were NICE legs.... As I recall (and NO it wasn't me but I did know the ensign)

Only time I got in a stew was about the first or second day I was on my new assignment; the USS Redfish, SS-395 in San Diego. Was ordered to go onto the sub tender (USS Sperry) and get some part. For some reason I forgot protocol when I got on the brow and forgot to salute the OOW and request permission to come aboard. HE was a 1st class Bos'n's mate and gave me the riot act.. I deserved it. Never forgot that ever again...

For those who might be interested in a true story; the Sperry was part of a Naval group detached to attend the Rose Festival in Portland OR. in '69.. On the way up the Columbia, the Sperry lost steerage, couldn't back off in time and took out a chunk of the adjoining highway, literally. The really weird part was the very next time the Sperry went down the river, she lost steerage AGAIN IN THE SAME SPOT.... But this time they got it stopped in time.

The crew was plenty jittery after that....

As a Spec4 I had to run an errand to the British compound in West Berlin, this was in 1974 when the city was still divided. Walked right by a British captain, how was I supposed to know what those pips on his collar meant?

He asked if the American Army was not in the habit of saluting officers, I apologized and said I didn't know British army insignia. He was veddy polite and veddy British, didn't chew me out at all but gave me a quick course on insignia to look for in case I ran into a less laid back officer. Even gave me directions to the office I was trying to find on the compound.

Always remember that and appreciated it. We had some good times training alongside the British in Southern Germany, did a lot of trading as young men are wont to do - we ended up with their wooly pully sweaters and they ended up with all of our American smokes. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Navy friend of mine always told me anyone can be taught to land on dry land....

For folks that never played in the joint arena much of this is just in fun. I've always had a great time working with the other services even though it does give each other tremendous fodder for making fun of each other.

Last big multinational exercise I did they gave us a tab to wear on your pocket with your rank equivalent in all the other foreign services since no one knew what the heck a Singapore or Turkish Colonel rank looked and some people are real sensitive about it. Most Naval Aviators aren't

Happy Friday all

Have you ever seen a floating, bobbing postage stamp from the air? I have several times! (And no, I was not the pilot!) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Amen, Pugs.

Was watching the Military Channel last night and was reminded that the Japanese Army and Navy not only distrusted each other, but did everything possible short of outright treason to sabotage the other's activities.

It just might be that we won that one because we may jibe each other, but by damn, we do know how to work together and support each other!