Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire How do I sell a time share in Branson, MO.

this would be my target buyer



don't get mad, I'm just having fun

Option A:

- Describe the place in incredibly glowing terms, and point out that you're only selling it for an "elderly person" who needs the funds for his tires, errr, kidney surgery.

- Old people should be your target suckers, errr, group, here.

- Tell em they're gettin the whole place, timeshare/shmimeshare.

- If they buy it and complain, tell em ya didn't know it was a timeshare, the guy that sold it to you, err, the "elderly person", didn't say anything about a timeshare (make sure you scratch your head while you're sayin this), it's just that you happened to only go there one week a year, when you're not bear shooting.

- Remind em you're "the biggest guy" in your steel cable knitting club.

- Hop in your avalanche and hit the road, before the attorney general's inspectors close in.

This can work, but you'll end up in bankruptcy (which'll be reopened), but the good news is that you'll get so many supportive PMs.

Option B:

- Bein the Ozarks, buy some shine, and relabel it by puttin it in replacement Mason jars, and writin your "trademark" on em with a Sharpie.

- Tell everbody you "jarred" it right there on the property. Charge ten times what you bought it for, and if people complain about the price, disparage their economic status, which will seal the sale.

- Get the only family member you have that can complete a sentence without twitchin, to post internet videos describing your "handmade" Mason jars, and the extra special seal the lids get. Work the word "ichor"
(or was it "euchre"), into the presentation to show you use words alla time that the little people don't even know. That'll get you the lucre.

- Take an eighth mortgage to make the deal work, then get on the innanet to t brag bout what a business typhoon you is.

- When they call you on your bullshit story and attitude, refer em to your people.

This can also work, but you don't actually end up with any money, only a room in a medium security motel overlooking high tension power lines and a freeway, whose constant traffic lulls you to sleep at night.

Option C:

- Take a box of bullets and a post-it note, and put it on the kitchen counter. On the Post-it note, write: "Open Me".

- If you come back after their walk-through, and the box is damaged, but not opened, you've found your sucker. Charge em whatever you want for the property.

Will also work, but the shat-eatin SOB that'll be the buyer won't pay, sayin he had his ovaries crossed when he agreed to buy.

Give it to some charitable organization and write it off your taxes.

Wow, and I thought that you guys were exaggerating! 15k to buy the damn thing in 2004 then come to find out "maintenance fees" (a nice word for extortion) are $800. plus every two years. Now those nice timeshare people will "buy" it back for $2,700. No, that isn't that they pay us $2,700. to buy it back, we pay them $2,700 to take it off our hands!!!!!!!!! Amazing, but that really isn't the word that I used.