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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 28,471 Likes: 9
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 28,471 Likes: 9 |
this would be my target buyer don't get mad, I'm just having fun Hahahaha
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 6,864
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 6,864 |
Option A:
- Describe the place in incredibly glowing terms, and point out that you're only selling it for an "elderly person" who needs the funds for his tires, errr, kidney surgery.
- Old people should be your target suckers, errr, group, here.
- Tell em they're gettin the whole place, timeshare/shmimeshare.
- If they buy it and complain, tell em ya didn't know it was a timeshare, the guy that sold it to you, err, the "elderly person", didn't say anything about a timeshare (make sure you scratch your head while you're sayin this), it's just that you happened to only go there one week a year, when you're not bear shooting.
- Remind em you're "the biggest guy" in your steel cable knitting club.
- Hop in your avalanche and hit the road, before the attorney general's inspectors close in.
This can work, but you'll end up in bankruptcy (which'll be reopened), but the good news is that you'll get so many supportive PMs.
Option B:
- Bein the Ozarks, buy some shine, and relabel it by puttin it in replacement Mason jars, and writin your "trademark" on em with a Sharpie.
- Tell everbody you "jarred" it right there on the property. Charge ten times what you bought it for, and if people complain about the price, disparage their economic status, which will seal the sale.
- Get the only family member you have that can complete a sentence without twitchin, to post internet videos describing your "handmade" Mason jars, and the extra special seal the lids get. Work the word "ichor" (or was it "euchre"), into the presentation to show you use words alla time that the little people don't even know. That'll get you the lucre.
- Take an eighth mortgage to make the deal work, then get on the innanet to t brag bout what a business typhoon you is.
- When they call you on your bullshit story and attitude, refer em to your people.
This can also work, but you don't actually end up with any money, only a room in a medium security motel overlooking high tension power lines and a freeway, whose constant traffic lulls you to sleep at night.
Option C:
- Take a box of bullets and a post-it note, and put it on the kitchen counter. On the Post-it note, write: "Open Me".
- If you come back after their walk-through, and the box is damaged, but not opened, you've found your sucker. Charge em whatever you want for the property.
Will also work, but the shat-eatin SOB that'll be the buyer won't pay, sayin he had his ovaries crossed when he agreed to buy.
Is there a Jeebus Quartet CD and a promise of a best in quartet category included?
It's about like this:
"Do you puff peters?"
"Hell no!"
"NAZI!!!"
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,335 Likes: 33
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,335 Likes: 33 |
Had a timeshare. Found out timeshares are like herpes. Ya cant ever get rid of it.
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time. --Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice. --ironbender
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 24,424 Likes: 5
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 24,424 Likes: 5 |
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,382
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,382 |
Yeah, it is the "gift" that keeps on giving. She thought a new car back then would have been a better take me back dear token when she'd had enough of his drinking affliction, but no this thing complete with the annual maintenance fees. I didn't know about the trout fishing, but we have those here. I thought that Missouri was like bass fishing country. Good that that "edit" button hangs around on a post as long as it does because I woke up at 3:30 this morning and said to myself that it is Nashville that has the Grand Ole Opry, not Branson. Interesting reading about just what is there and it reads like I'd be happier going in the other direction.
My other auto is a .45
The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price has faded from memory
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,737
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,737 |
Give it to some charitable organization and write it off your taxes.
"Whensoever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force." --Thomas Jefferson
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,095
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,095 |
Give it to some charitable organization and write it off your taxes. It would probably be as hard to find a charity that would accept it as it is to sell it.
National Rifle Association - Patron Member National Muzzleloading Rifle Association - Life Member and 1 of 1000 Illinois State Rifle Association - Life Member Carlinville Rifle & Pistol Club ~ Molɔ̀ːn Labé ~
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,892 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,892 Likes: 5 |
If you're lucky, you can get rid of it on Ebay without paying the buyer.
Timeshareexitteam.com.
Figure it's going to cost you money to get rid of it.
Sic Semper Tyrannis
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 13,228 Likes: 14
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 13,228 Likes: 14 |
Let this be a warning to others considering buying into one of these schemes. Don't walk away,RUN.
Patriotism (and religion) is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Jesus: "Take heed that no man deceive you."
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 944
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 944 |
Timeshares are worth every penny you'll pay an attorney to cancel the contract.
"Supernatural divinities are the primitive's answer to why the sun goes down at night..."
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 61,264 Likes: 31
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 61,264 Likes: 31 |
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o "May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,382
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 4,382 |
Wow, and I thought that you guys were exaggerating! 15k to buy the damn thing in 2004 then come to find out "maintenance fees" (a nice word for extortion) are $800. plus every two years. Now those nice timeshare people will "buy" it back for $2,700. No, that isn't that they pay us $2,700. to buy it back, we pay them $2,700 to take it off our hands!!!!!!!!! Amazing, but that really isn't the word that I used.
My other auto is a .45
The bitterness of poor quality is remembered long after the sweetness of low price has faded from memory
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,892 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 12,892 Likes: 5 |
There's a guy on the radio that calls it "stupid tax".
Sic Semper Tyrannis
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,724 Likes: 23
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 44,724 Likes: 23 |
Wow, and I thought that you guys were exaggerating! 15k to buy the damn thing in 2004 then come to find out "maintenance fees" (a nice word for extortion) are $800. plus every two years. Now those nice timeshare people will "buy" it back for $2,700. No, that isn't that they pay us $2,700. to buy it back, we pay them $2,700 to take it off our hands!!!!!!!!! Amazing, but that really isn't the word that I used. Did you do what I suguested you do? Just like anywhere else on the board, I guess. People giving advice about something they don't know sqiat about.
Slaves get what they need. Free men get what they want. Rehabilitation is way overrated. Orwell wasn't wrong. GOA member disappointed NRA member 24HCF SEARCH
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978 |
Timeshares are good for some people BUT not for everyone. About a year after one was started around here the ad's started appearing in the paper. "Just take over payments" was all they wanted. Don't know how many of them got out from under them that way.
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,929
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,929 |
Telemarketer called my brother, he made the mistake of answering. He hears, “Congratulations, sir, you’ve just won an all expenses paid trip to Branson, Missouri!” He said, “Ma’am, the only way I’m going to Branson, Missouri is as a hostage...”
Pretty much ended that call.
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