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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172
Campfire Regular
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OP
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172 |
Sadly it looks like my brother's marriage is headed for divorce. I say sad because he and I (and supposedly his wife) are Christians and we know that God hates divorce. In my humanness though I sure feel he will be better off without her (emotionally anyway). Financially is another matter. Which is why I am looking for advice on his behalf.
They live in Washington State and he said that it is a no fault divorce state. As such, apparently she will take half of the assets regardless of the circumstances.
As we all know there are 2 sides to the story but overall this one seems quite one sided.
She has not worked for years, claiming that she has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and who knows what else. I believe she might be getting disability benefits but I am not sure about that.
Basically she sleeps all night and most of the day and contributes very little to the running of the house. My brother has tried to honor his wedding vows (in sickness and health etc) and take care of her but she has basically sucked the life out of him. The big blow up this week that caused him to vacate the house was that she essentially decided for them that her drunken bum of a son from a previous marriage was going to stay with them and that my brother had nothing to say about it. This son has stayed with them off and on with my brother biting his tongue and trying to be a loving and supportive husband but he had words with the disrespectful piece of crap and hurt the poor boys feelings. Among other issues the son decided (with the wife's urging) to start parking his car in the garage and my brother could just park his car in the driveway. Sadly my brother has allowed his wife to run roughshod over him for years and now it looks like she has decided (despite him bending over backwards to do right by her for years) that her drunken bum of a son (who is a grown man) is more important to her than the marriage is.
Clearly with that being the case my brother is better off without her but is there any way for him to not lose half of all he has worked for with her contributing basically nothing?
He has worked for the federal government for about 28 years and has a good retirement account and pension and also has the house paid off.
Just wondering if there are any lawyers here or other folks from WA State that have any legal type advice for him. Thanks much!
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,425
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,425 |
"I can't be canceled, because, I don't give a fuuck!" --- Kid Rock 2022
Holocaust Deniers, the ultimate perverted dipchits: Bristoe, TheRealHawkeye, stophel, Ghostinthemachine, anyone else?
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,127
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,127 |
Half the assets means just that and I doubt there is little wiggle room in that. Includes the house. The argument will be what form each half will take. He needs to lawyer up n a big way.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 384
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 384 |
too late now, but in future, all men are insane, in the West, at least, to not get a vasectomy and put their assets into a NV corporation, kept a strict secret from everyone. do this before even DATING any women. Get a storage rental, have somebody else do it for you, or get a fake ID from the illegals hanging around Lowe's at 6 Am. Tell the NV attorney to never contact you. Leave a burner phone hidden in the storage , inside the cushion of an old chair, covered in old clothes, etc. use that phone to call him, but never from the storage. Never drive your car to the storage, the bitch might have a tracker on it. if you want kids someday, have them freeze some of your sperm. This will let an 18 year old have half a million $ by age 30 and you can then retire to the third world on your investments. and live large.
Last edited by satir; 12/07/19.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130 |
1. He should have never left the house. 2. All debts and assets, 50/50, but it is Washington 3.good luck
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 244
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 244 |
I did this once before. If it happens again, im of the scorched earth mentality. Run a bulldozer through it before giving her half of it.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 9,743
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 9,743 |
Not in Washington state, he's screwed. Rode it out with a couple of friends and neither ended well.
Postpone divorce proceedings, liquidate, move to a state that isn't as rough on a guy in a divorce then proceed with a well thought out plan that ends in divorce.
Could take a couple years but might save him half that government pension as well as whatever else he can safeguard while liquidating....
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,076
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,076 |
Even assets/retirement that pre-dated the marriage??
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,621
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,621 |
Never underestimate a woman...you’ll be surprised when you find out she’s two steps ahead of you...most everything you have can be replaced...it’s not worth paying lawyers to argue about things you can replace...it’s best to get along till it’s over then move on and don’t look back...
Public landowner...
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130 |
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,425
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 31,425 |
Even assets/retirement that pre-dated the marriage?? It's my understanding yes.
"I can't be canceled, because, I don't give a fuuck!" --- Kid Rock 2022
Holocaust Deniers, the ultimate perverted dipchits: Bristoe, TheRealHawkeye, stophel, Ghostinthemachine, anyone else?
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 17,130 |
Inheritances no. Turn things into cash
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 9,743
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 9,743 |
Even assets/retirement that pre-dated the marriage?? I could tell you about one friend in Seattle that owned 125 homes when he married. Gained 8 more homes in the three years the marriage lasted, had those 8 homes in a corp. that was in both their names. Took a year to get into court, typical there, she ended up with 25 homes a few hundred grand, alimony, and of course he had to pay her attorney fees.. And that's a guy that had the money to fight it....
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,918
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,918 |
pack up and leave and don't sigh the divorce papers after you take most of the bank account. leave enuff for 3 months of bills
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,516
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 25,516 |
Assets that pre-date the marriage are usually the reason why a good attorney is important.
How long were they married?
�Politicians are the lowest form of life on earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician.� �General George S. Patton, Jr.
--------------------------------------------------------- ~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 11,115
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 11,115 |
No legal advice here, just my condolences.
One of my daughters was in an exceedingly difficult marriage, and tried very hard for 24 years to make it work. Her husband at the time was a liar, a thief, a narcissist, and a druggie, with a bunch of very difficult behavior problems, being manipulative, domineering, and controlling.
My point for all that is that your brother can be honorably released from his marital obligations if he has done all that is possible, no progress seems possible, and the present situation is personally destructive. It's a marriage, not a suicide pact.
FWIW, my daughter got a protective order, which her husband violated with impunity. So the courts issued a second order, tightening the restraints and upping the penalties. He violated that one too, liberally. So the court issued a third order which permanently barred him from ever being present in their marital home. When the divorce judge saw that, he awarded the home to my daughter.
Oh, and my daughter just remarried, to a terrific guy. However bleak it is now, better times are ahead.
Be not weary in well doing.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,303
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,303 |
Get a lawyer that is board certified in family law!
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,347
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,347 |
She has not worked for years, claiming that she has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and who knows what else. But is it true? People really do get those things. I know it always looks suspicious, but it's possible she might actually be sick. I wouldn't call her a liar without having the facts.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” ― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,856
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2011
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too late now, but in future, all men are insane, in the West, at least, to not get a vasectomy. Too bad your daddy didn't before he spawned you...
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,271
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,271 |
What DD said, and it MUST be an Atty. VERY familiar with FEDERAL Pensions........... the 50/50 thing is nigh impossible to get past..........
But there is a way that it does NOT carry over into the monthly pension benefit.................
Find the Lawyer that knows about that...............
I worked with a guy that left the specific wording out of the final agreement, he now pays 50% of his retirement check until she passes or marries................. the later, of which, she will likely never do!!!
"...A man's rights rest in three boxes: the ballot box, the jury box and the cartridge box..." Frederick Douglass, 1867
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