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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115 |
Anyone know a for sure way to guarantee I can get one of my turds to fossilize for the future edification of whatever type of being "Mankind" becomes?
Maybe find a highly mineralized spring and plant one in the sediments close enough to get a good dose of silicates and such, but not so close as to get soft and mushy and dissolve?
I'm doing this for the benefit of the Universe, Science and all that after all. I eat well, not a lot of processed food. There could be some important info passed down, as it seems there is so much consumption of junk food future scientists might think that was all this cohort of human life existed on. At least in developed countries.
I've got an abundance of material to work with. Some folks say I'm full of it.
I've left specimens all over the country and in parts of Baja, maybe Canada even. And not just in septic and sewage systems. Camping and hunting has allowed me to inoculate many areas of the country. Mostly in rural/wild areas, but sometimes due to emergency conditions maybe in a more urban setting, say the side of a highway. But my problem is I don't think any will survive for posterity.
Not only for the scientists of the future (Human, ALIEN, or some combination thereof), we have to consider the slumlords and renegades of the future, out in the plowed fields and on the hillsides, looking for artifacts. Can you imagine their surprise and happiness at finding a genuine 21st century petrified turd!
Be like jumping up and down in the field............"I found a turd, a fossilized dookie! Fugg them arrowheads and scrapers, how many of these does ol' Jonesy down the road have in his collection. I'm making a special shadowbox for this one, blue velvet for the background. Take it to the county fair and everything".
I need some help here folks. Anyone with experience in fossilizing stuff that can be transferred to "butthole Baby Ruths"?
The future will expect good results. If you have plenty to work with... Why not try something more significant? Perhaps packing Pelosi in it would work? She is practically a fossil already... Perhaps someone along those lines would act as a catalyst to petrification?
The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men.
In it is contentment
In it is death and all you seek
(Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)
member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115 |
I do not know what that little emoji goodie is. It doesn't show up well on my Compac computer screen. It’s a face palm emoticon. V2.0 of this. I like the V1.O better. Someone I know has one of them fancy iPhones that makes "memojis". I hate them too.
The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men.
In it is contentment
In it is death and all you seek
(Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)
member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 45,115 |
Coolio, thanks for the link. Studied them in Archaeology class some.
The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men.
In it is contentment
In it is death and all you seek
(Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)
member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 21,743
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 21,743 |
Anyone know a for sure way to guarantee I can get one of my turds to fossilize for the future edification of whatever type of being "Mankind" becomes?
Maybe find a highly mineralized spring and plant one in the sediments close enough to get a good dose of silicates and such, but not so close as to get soft and mushy and dissolve?
I'm doing this for the benefit of the Universe, Science and all that after all. I eat well, not a lot of processed food. There could be some important info passed down, as it seems there is so much consumption of junk food future scientists might think that was all this cohort of human life existed on. At least in developed countries.
I've got an abundance of material to work with. Some folks say I'm full of it.
I've left specimens all over the country and in parts of Baja, maybe Canada even. And not just in septic and sewage systems. Camping and hunting has allowed me to inoculate many areas of the country. Mostly in rural/wild areas, but sometimes due to emergency conditions maybe in a more urban setting, say the side of a highway. But my problem is I don't think any will survive for posterity.
Not only for the scientists of the future (Human, ALIEN, or some combination thereof), we have to consider the slumlords and renegades of the future, out in the plowed fields and on the hillsides, looking for artifacts. Can you imagine their surprise and happiness at finding a genuine 21st century petrified turd!
Be like jumping up and down in the field............"I found a turd, a fossilized dookie! Fugg them arrowheads and scrapers, how many of these does ol' Jonesy down the road have in his collection. I'm making a special shadowbox for this one, blue velvet for the background. Take it to the county fair and everything".
I need some help here folks. Anyone with experience in fossilizing stuff that can be transferred to "butthole Baby Ruths"?
The future will expect good results. I would base your research on the scientific knowledge of Twinkies. Maybe you could eat a whole lot of Twinkies beforehand? Maybe the space-age celaphone of a Twinkie wrapper might help? Possibly proximity to 11 adjoining Twinkies in a 12-pack would provide camaraderie for longevity? Good luck to us all.
If you are not actively engaging EVERY enemy you encounter... you are allowing another to fight for you... and that is cowardice... plain and simple.
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Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,334
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,334 |
I thought this was going to be a thread about Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi. Those are the best examples of fossilized turds I've seen.
God Bless America
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,242
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 31,242 |
Coprolite production:
Cover turd with 3,000 feet of mud.
Allow to cure for 50 million years, checking for doneness every million or so.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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