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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,191
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,191 |
I was expecting something about AOC. ![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/ky7RUGx.jpg) đź‘Ť
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,114
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,114 |
Donald Trump, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to Hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the Devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next, Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished, the Devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally, Trump gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When finished, the Devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this, he goes ballistic and asks the Devil why Trump got to call the USA so cheaply. The Devil smiles and replies,
"Since Biden took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,191
Campfire Oracle
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Campfire Oracle
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 86,191 |
Donald Trump, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to Hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the Devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next, Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished, the Devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally, Trump gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When finished, the Devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this, he goes ballistic and asks the Devil why Trump got to call the USA so cheaply. The Devil smiles and replies,
"Since Biden took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call.
🤣🤣
If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli
American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,080
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,080 |
We were on a tour in Costa Rica when our bus host/ guide told us this one.
When he was 10 or so his grandfather ( grandparents raising him)gave him a burro. “That’s like giving an American black teen a new Cadillac”
One day he and his bud skipped school and rode the jack a couple miles down to the swimming hole. Timing it to get home again as if they had been in school all day, they didn’t count on that Jenny in heat on the way home. The jack ran over and mounted her with both boys still aboard, yelling and screaming. They were a couple hours late getting home with the jack and we’re grounded “for quite some time”.
He told it better....
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 19,074
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 19,074 |
On my very first pack trip back in 68 or so,we had two mare horses, two geldings, one stud Shetland pony, one uncut jack donkey and three mini mollie mules.The old cowboy that took us was 86 and when he went, all his stock went with him. Going up the mountain.The jack donkey kept trying to mount one of the mares that was in heat.The donkey had a full pack and the mare had my buddy riding her.There was a lot of yelling both from my buddy and the jack.The mare seemed happy.
The Shetland stud was let to run loose and the three mini mules were picketed on a 25 ft line.Two of the three mollies were in heat and every morning we would awake to the Shetland stud screaming while he was mounting the mollies and the donkey was braying because he could not get to the mare.
That was the noisiest camp I have ever been in, but it started my fascination with mules.
If God wanted you to walk and carry things on your back, He would not have invented stirrups and pack saddles
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,593
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,593 |
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, it ain't Stanley .'
The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up, Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two azzholes.''
''What! He had two azz-holes?'' asked the mortician.
''Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 'There's Stanley with them two azzholes.' ''
Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Biden administration as planning, development, and strategy consultants.
I stole that just now...
"Chances Will Be Taken"
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 449
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 449 |
I as lucky enough to own a Mammoth Jack named Cactus Black Jack. He won every show I took him to even Bishop Mule Days. You could put 10 kids on him and he would be in hog heaven but let another animal cross him and they died. The old Assarians rode them into battle. I can't immagin 10,000 of those brayin' and chargin' that would be some scary stuff. Dad had a mammoth jenny that would spend all day moving a brush pile to get at a jackrabbit and kill it. Donkeys are the only animal that ever spoke to a man in the bible.
NOVIT EMIM DOMINUS QUI SUNT EUIS {Arnauld Amalric} "Kill them all,God will know His." Never trust Horses ,Women and very few Mules.A good rifle will let in lots of AIR AND LIGHT.
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