Not me but I had a friend jumped a girls bike over a sheet of plywood propped up on a 55 gallon barrel. The jump was spectacular. When he landed his feet slipped off the petals and he crushed his nuts on the bar. I doubt he ever had children.
_______________________________________________________ An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
Many years ago was working for my best bud at that time in his drywall finishing co.
He’s 5’ 9” or so.
High ceiling foyer w a staircase to the left. Two pieces of drywall to cover the lid on the sloped foyer. Roughly 25-30 ft at the peak. Maybe 16-18 ‘ or so at the seam. Too cheap to rent scaffolding so he props up a ladder against the far wall & spans the opening by placing a 2x10 from the stairs to the ladder
Still can’t reach the seam.
So he takes a milk crate turns it upside down where each edge is over the 2x10
Proceeds to put on stilts, walks out on the plank & steps up on the milk crate, so he can float the seam w a 12” knife.
Strangely enough he’s still alive to this day. 🤷🏻♂️
We pulled some other crazy stunts together, but you couldn’t have got me to walk that plank on stilts for love nor money. I can still recall the spring in that 2x10 as he walked out on it. Sheesh
I'm pretty certain when we sing our anthem and mention the land of the free, the original intent didn't mean cell phones, food stamps and birth control.
Best improvised moment with a ladder, for me, was having a 25’ft peak on a home that had a small covered entry way below the peak that came out to far.
It prevented a ladder from being positioned correctly to paint out the soffit, house, and trim boards up top.
Screw hauling in scaffolding or a lift. I just backed my painting van up next to the entryway, put my 28’ft ladder on the vans roof and secured the ladder legs with straps.
Worked great...OSHA would have wrote me some tasty fines, if they saw it.
🦫
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog “Molon Labe”
Did a 3 month landscaping job back in the 90's on the edge of a cliff along the Deschutes river in Bend. Had to run machinery right to the edge. Guys walking all over the place. Barriers? We don't need no stinking barriers. I don't know what would have been required to meet OSHA standards, I didn't ask, and nobody threw themselves over.
_______________________________________________________ An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
when i was a wee lad my friends and i witnessed my dad and the camp neighbor cut down a big pine tree. they both had a reputation for imbibing so i am sure there was some of that. the tree turned out to be hollow, pivoted and went in the door of his buddies camper perfectly and crushed it. i still hang out with one of the kids and we talk about that every time somebody fires up a chainsaw.
You'd think as wasteful as the government is in spending they could afford to buy some mother fuggking toilet paper that works. Not even close, and it appears to be getting worse. The paper I used this morning had the efficacy of wax paper coupled with the comfort of 220 grit sandpaper. You could sand the chrome of of a Harley with this schidt. As I started my fore to aft swipe, the grit gained traction and my fingers went sliding off, digging into my anus in the process. Thankfully I cut my fingernails last night and don't have to dig butt pudding out from underneath them. So at this point the forest product (you can actually see wood chips in the paper) I am provided to clean my ass with is just hanging from my goddamm crack. I pondered the best way to remove it. I got another piece off the roll to wrap around my fingers. As I did the holder broke, and with a decided thwack the roll hit the floor and scurried away just beyond arms reach and came to a stop in a puddle of what I hope was water near the base of the sink. I half stood and leaned over toward it. At this point the clump of paper lost purchase on my crack and fell dirty side down into my underwear. REALLY, can this get any fuggking worse?
Why yes it can. I sat back down and collected myself for a few seconds. I picked up the piece of paper that had fallen into my underwear. As I began swinging it into the toilet it unfurled and pendelum-like swung a chunk of doo onto my thigh. Exasperated at this point, I just threw it on the floor. Using the half saturated, half fiberglass textured paper, I managed to clean my thigh and underwear reasonably well before I settled back into the task of wiping my ass. You know, I just went into the bathroom to take a flipping schidt. I did not ask for and did not want drama. There was a sink right by the toilet, so I dampened the paper a little to take the edge off and smeared schidt all over my crack for a while until I felt like I had done as good a job as possible.
I stood up and turned around to flush. As if the pulled pork sandwich and onion rings I had last night weren't enough to choke a commercial grade toilet, there was now two hundred thirty six linear feet of 1X4 yellow pine in the bowl as well. The first stroke of the handle scarcely yielded a burble. After several rounds of plunger, flush, wait, I succeeded in sending the mess to its grave. I am a sanitary person, just short of being OCD about it. So I pressed on the liquid soap dispenser. NOTHING. I'm resourceful too. I figured there'd be some residual soap in the collapsible bag. NOPE, the bag had been removed. I decided copious amounts of hot water would suffice until I could make my way to another restroom. It took just shy of four minutes for the hot water to make it to my corner of the building and when it did it was McDonalds coffee hot. I almost didn't bother with looking in the paper towel dispenser. I just knew it would be empty. Then I thought there was no way my luck could be that damn bad, so I looked, and I was wrong. My luck is that damn bad.
I walked out of the restroom directly into the office looking like I'd been in a fight with Brock Lesnar. Of course everyone turned to look at me. Apparently some of my profane utterances and the noise had made its way into the office. Now I'm sitting here feeling like Ron Jeremy ass raped me with a cheese grater, and all I wanted to do was take a schidt and clean up like a normal person.
You'd think as wasteful as the government is in spending they could afford to buy some mother fuggking toilet paper that works. Not even close, and it appears to be getting worse. The paper I used this morning had the efficacy of wax paper coupled with the comfort of 220 grit sandpaper. You could sand the chrome of of a Harley with this schidt. As I started my fore to aft swipe, the grit gained traction and my fingers went sliding off, digging into my anus in the process. Thankfully I cut my fingernails last night and don't have to dig butt pudding out from underneath them. So at this point the forest product (you can actually see wood chips in the paper) I am provided to clean my ass with is just hanging from my goddamm crack. I pondered the best way to remove it. I got another piece off the roll to wrap around my fingers. As I did the holder broke, and with a decided thwack the roll hit the floor and scurried away just beyond arms reach and came to a stop in a puddle of what I hope was water near the base of the sink. I half stood and leaned over toward it. At this point the clump of paper lost purchase on my crack and fell dirty side down into my underwear. REALLY, can this get any fuggking worse?
Why yes it can. I sat back down and collected myself for a few seconds. I picked up the piece of paper that had fallen into my underwear. As I began swinging it into the toilet it unfurled and pendelum-like swung a chunk of doo onto my thigh. Exasperated at this point, I just threw it on the floor. Using the half saturated, half fiberglass textured paper, I managed to clean my thigh and underwear reasonably well before I settled back into the task of wiping my ass. You know, I just went into the bathroom to take a flipping schidt. I did not ask for and did not want drama. There was a sink right by the toilet, so I dampened the paper a little to take the edge off and smeared schidt all over my crack for a while until I felt like I had done as good a job as possible.
I stood up and turned around to flush. As if the pulled pork sandwich and onion rings I had last night weren't enough to choke a commercial grade toilet, there was now two hundred thirty six linear feet of 1X4 yellow pine in the bowl as well. The first stroke of the handle scarcely yielded a burble. After several rounds of plunger, flush, wait, I succeeded in sending the mess to its grave. I am a sanitary person, just short of being OCD about it. So I pressed on the liquid soap dispenser. NOTHING. I'm resourceful too. I figured there'd be some residual soap in the collapsible bag. NOPE, the bag had been removed. I decided copious amounts of hot water would suffice until I could make my way to another restroom. It took just shy of four minutes for the hot water to make it to my corner of the building and when it did it was McDonalds coffee hot. I almost didn't bother with looking in the paper towel dispenser. I just knew it would be empty. Then I thought there was no way my luck could be that damn bad, so I looked, and I was wrong. My luck is that damn bad.
I walked out of the restroom directly into the office looking like I'd been in a fight with Brock Lesnar. Of course everyone turned to look at me. Apparently some of my profane utterances and the noise had made its way into the office. Now I'm sitting here feeling like Ron Jeremy ass raped me with a cheese grater, and all I wanted to do was take a schidt and clean up like a normal person.
😂
“Life is life and fun is fun, but it's all so quiet when the goldfish die.”
Best improvised moment with a ladder, for me, was having a 25’ft peak on a home that had a small covered entry way below the peak that came out to far.
It prevented a ladder from being positioned correctly to paint out the soffit, house, and trim boards up top.
Screw hauling in scaffolding or a lift. I just backed my painting van up next to the entryway, put my 28’ft ladder on the vans roof and secured the ladder legs with straps.
Worked great...OSHA would have wrote me some tasty fines, if they saw it.
🦫
Damn straight. I've had that same 32' ladder fully maxed with legs in my truckbed up against my cab. Very sturdy actually.....
- Greg
Success is found at the intersection of planning, hard work, and stubbornness.
Best improvised moment with a ladder, for me, was having a 25’ft peak on a home that had a small covered entry way below the peak that came out to far.
It prevented a ladder from being positioned correctly to paint out the soffit, house, and trim boards up top.
Screw hauling in scaffolding or a lift. I just backed my painting van up next to the entryway, put my 28’ft ladder on the vans roof and secured the ladder legs with straps.
Worked great...OSHA would have wrote me some tasty fines, if they saw it.
🦫
Damn straight. I've had that same 32' ladder fully maxed with legs in my truckbed up against my cab. Very sturdy actually.....
Ladders, the multi tool for early flight training....
“Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them.” ― G. Orwell
"Why can't men kill big game with the same cartridges women and kids use?" _Eileen Clarke
"Unjust authority confers no obligation of obedience." - Alexander Hamilton
Back when I was a wee lad, maybe 9 or 10, I had a cousin that was several years older. He had rigged what you might call a catapult with a plank over a couple of hay bales. He was trying to get my brother or I to stand on the end of the plank and he would jump onto the other end from the loft, launching one of us skyward.
Well, I had a bright idea (sort of hold my beer, if I’d had one). I thought I’d show him. I’d stand there on the plank until he jumped and then disembark and watch him thud as he landed the other end of the plank without resistance.
It all worked great until as I stepped off the plank as he jumped, the plank came up and whacked me under the chin. Things went kind of black just for a second. Then the pain began….
Best improvised moment with a ladder, for me, was having a 25’ft peak on a home that had a small covered entry way below the peak that came out to far.
It prevented a ladder from being positioned correctly to paint out the soffit, house, and trim boards up top.
Screw hauling in scaffolding or a lift. I just backed my painting van up next to the entryway, put my 28’ft ladder on the vans roof and secured the ladder legs with straps.
Worked great...OSHA would have wrote me some tasty fines, if they saw it.
🦫
Damn straight. I've had that same 32' ladder fully maxed with legs in my truckbed up against my cab. Very sturdy actually.....
You’re definitely a brother from another mother about ladders.
Sometimes, you just have to go with what will work. Might not look correct. But, sturdy is key, no matter what a dude has to do to get it that way.
Grins
🦫
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog “Molon Labe”
"Then Ironbender throws in a career of selling refrigerators to Eskimos. (In jest,,,I think)"
I dunno if he did or not, but someone did. Freezers too, often times. They have largely gotten away from holes in the permafrost in the last few decades. Not entirely, but for the most part.
The whalers in Barrow, etc, still use holes in the ground to store whale meat and blubber, but even they are having thawing/flooding problems at times.
Pretty soon, they will be almost civilized.
When we were in Barrow mid-90's, a new Principal came into the elementary school during the summer, between school sessions. Black lady.
During the tour of her new domain, the staff didn't want to show her the big walk-in freezer.
They had a corpse stored in there, waiting burial.
How bout not having enough ladder but none to be put out....110 ft of 9mm static rope, gri-gri and two ascenders for last 6ft to get me out and over and onto the 12/12 pitch. One ounce weight on my catfish rig and 20lb spiderwire, zing the leader over the 3 three story houses, pull my ropes and tie off to the ball hitch. 😃
Used to do a lot of wind patching jobs on the high steep roofs.
Old foam couch cushions work for most steep work. Tools, tube of black mammy and a precut color match tabs in the backpack.
Bonny and clyde Petzel climbing harness.
$200 in 15 minutes
Do two or three of those before lunch
Head to the lake smoke dope and ride waverunner rest of the day 👍😂🤪
Look at number of people who lose their ladders leg base on those bifold “Giant” type ladders.
Werner makes them, Giant as well. It’s the only type of ladder I’ve had come out from under me. I was on a 32’ft Werner bifold that slid out on a dry wood deck...The fall from 18’ feet, broke my face and chipped a piece of a bone off a disc in my lower back.
The fall didn’t hurt the ladder, just me. I never climbed it again. Gave it to a pard, who wanted it.
🦫
PS
Figure there is something about the width of the legs base. It may be the culprit in sliding out. It’s wider than regular ladder legs.
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog “Molon Labe”
