Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire The Old Man - Advice Needed

My Dad was much the same. Refused hearing aids and Alzheimer’s onset.
I’m the oldest, so I was the one that had to deal with it.
It sucked for Mom and everyone in the Family. Sorry your having to deal with this. Prayers sent for you and yours.

Thanks.

There is no "easy" solution. It's just hard. It will probably get harder,but I promise you that it won't last forever and you will never regret the hardships when they are gone.

I’m sorry to hear you’re having to go through this. It’s hard to see our aged parents going downhill; especially when they won’t do anything about it. I’m in a similar situation with mine. Mom has early symptoms of dementia and dad has health issues that he won’t take care of like he should. We’ve had some success with dad getting him to the doc appointments and his temperament has improved as he feels better. He still gets frustrated with Mom (and me) though. I can only suggest to get your siblings together and express your love for him and your mom and share your concerns with them. Add to that some ideas how to help him/them and try and do it in such a way that it’s his idea.

Good luck. This isn’t a fun thing to have to go through.

Record his ranting and play it for a headshrinker. If he has an idea about what’s going on then have him work with the doctor to treat him. It could be a form of dementia or depression, but the doc can figure it out.

I would help my mom go on a vacation with relatives or friends for a while, You should have someone else stay with him while she is gone.

Also, make sure your father doesn’t have access to firearms.

ConradCA: Good advice on firearms. He's been after me for the past 2 years or so to bring him a pistol. I did bring him one during my current visit (I'm headed back to W. TX tomorrow in the AM) and I already decided not to leave the pistol with him. Thanks.

My Dad refused hearing aids for 10+ years. Got pissed every time we brought it up. Then he went to visit his brother and tried his on. Still said he didn't need them for a year or so but I could tell he was thinking about it. Then one day he had me call and get it setup at the VA and now he won't be without them.

The only downfall is that now he can hear Mom muttering behind his back whenever he pisses her off over something trivial!

lol

I went through something similar with dad before he died! The only one who he showed respect for was his older brother! After Curly would leave he leveled out for awhile! Around the rest he was an ass! I talked to my uncle and ask him, why he thought dad always treated him different! He said after WW2 , three years in the south pacific, dad was always different! I believe he had what today they call, PTSD! Curly always brought dad a treat, turned out Curly was feeding him thc cookies,cake and goodies! When I confronted him about the treats. Curly said he gave them to him, and never told dad what was in them! Because he wanted his younger brother to have a happy life! I'm not suggesting you give him cookies, but you might talk to your mom, about anything that might be a trigger for his actions. Something from years ago might be his problem, and has gone undiagnosed for years! I'm sorry for your dads problems, and hope your family gets a grip on thee situation!

Seafire, I turned my daughter-in-law on to your post. She is an RN, with an advanced degree, her specialty is patient advocacy and care planning when a person is released from the hospital. Her job puts her in frequent conflict with the family, but her responsibility is with the patient. She was blown away by your insight of the situation High Noon's dad is going through. She says you nailed it. He is clearly in the well documented triangle of fear, frustration and anger at his situation. She asked if you had medical training, of course I didn't know, but I told her you were one helluva handloader. Anyway, in one professional's opinion, you got a career in healthcare if you ever wanted it.