Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Advise for a newlywed

Young man I know is getting married next month and he ask if I had any good advice , the only thing I told was if he comes in from work and them beans are burning just let em burn ..

WTF. LOL.

Get it when you can.

For the first year you are married, put a bean in the jar every time you have oral sex.
Then starting the day of your first anniversary, take a bean out of the jar every time you have oral sex.
See how long it takes to get rid of the beans.

pull her hair

she likes it

From the ‘hub…..


Just cause she’s talking to you on the phone, doesn’t mean she’s alone.

😂😂

Never let your guard down.

Prenup!

Make sure he's a better shot than she is....

Find one that has a high tolerance for Bull Sh#t and you will be fine.

Modern feminism has ruined women.

"All hope abandon, ye who enter here."

Looks like you better look elsewhere for advice

Tell him it's not too late to avoid screwing up his life.

The start of a relationship requires you to not come home too early......... when you go out with your buddies (drinking) don't come home before 5:00am, if you do, they expect you to be home early every time you go out drinking with your buddies.
That is the best advice I have to offer.

She knows what she wants. She wants you to choose because she wants you to be happy. She will only be happy if your choice is what she wants. The females of all mammal species are six times more vocal than the male. Learn to take hints.

And most importantly, remember that we would all still be laying on the sidewalk, burning ants with a magnifying glass, if it weren't for women. Men change slowly. Women change by the second.

Oh....and they know they're crazy, but it usually doesn't behoove you to remind them.

"marriage is an institution, and who the hell wants to live in an institution"

On the more serious side: when you get home from work, before you unload on her, ask "how was YOUR day?", then listen to her.

OR

You could explain the 3 rings of marriage.

The honey moon , gave a young man this advice as he was tying the knot .
It is called the ankle sweep test .
You want to be sure this is going to work while you can still get it anulled , right ?
You get to your destination , sweep her up into your arms and carry her in gently setting her on her feet , looking into her eyes with the sweetest smile you can muster .
Looking in her eyes , tell her she is beautiful and slowly trace your hands down the sides of her face , down over her shoulders all the while expressing the beauty of her charms , down her hips, down her thighs and run your hands to the back of her ankles , grasp them firmly , come up as quick as you can reaching for the ceiling, as the back of her shoulder slap the floor , snatch her legs apart and spit in it and nail it , when finished release her ankles , go set on the couch , turn on a hunting channel and tell her to get you a beer .
If she brings you that beer , she’s yours forever .
This boy was in his twenties , Christian , never been laid , as was his soon to be wife .
His cheeks are red , eyes big and says , yeah , right ! She’ll kill me !
I lost it , cracked the fugg up .
So he goes home and runs it by her , he was astonished that she busted out a big belly laugh . And said invite him to our wedding .
Again I cracked up , but due to health reasons wasn’t able to make the wedding
But got the both a gift card for cabelas .
She is a hunter and he just sent me a picture of her with a nice 10 point buck she killed this year .
They are good people .
Kenneth