|
|
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,605
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,605 |
I’m not the best dad sometimes and I can be a little tough on my kids. I mostly feel like it’s for their own good, but sometimes I wonder if I need to cool it. This thread makes me think harder about that.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,194
Campfire Tracker
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 3,194 |
You are a better man for this OP. May your father RIP. Condolences to you and your family.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,861
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,861 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father. Most people become like their parents, good or bad. Maybe a look at his life might provide some understanding. Along with forgiveness, the best outcome of these cases is when the children recognize their parents’ failings and resolve never to inflict those traumas on their own kids. Prob’ly that’s where you’ve been at for a long time now. Far too many people refuse to acknowledge the faults of their parents. Many even feel the need to transform those faults into virtues.
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,308
Campfire Kahuna
|
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,308 |
I am MAGA.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,562
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,562 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. Forgiveness isn't for the benefit of the forgiven, but I think you know that. Sorry for your loss, and to hear of your troubles as a youth.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,278
Campfire Outfitter
|
|
OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 10,278 |
I’m not the best dad sometimes and I can be a little tough on my kids. I mostly feel like it’s for their own good, but sometimes I wonder if I need to cool it. This thread makes me think harder about that. Here's where your wrong. If you were truly capable of being like that you would always feel justified and otherwise not care.
The older I become the more I am convinced that the voice of honor in a man's heart is the voice of GOD.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 4,671
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 4,671 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. When my mom died three years ago we had been largely estranged for nearly 30 years. The night she went into the hospital I was with her in the ER. I asked for her forgiveness for my behavior toward her. She gave it and closed her eyes never to open them to this world again. My dad and I sat up with her those final 3 days. Two days before her passing I was alone with her very early in the morning as the sun began to rise. It occurred to me I had asked for forgiveness but had not offered any. I spoke with her honestly and from my heart. When I was done I told her I forgave her for her actions against me those long years. In an instant I literally felt a weight rise off my shoulders and there again was my mother. I freely loved her again for the remainder of her life. I was there when she left and though I miss her I can accept it. I am sorry you lost your dad but am happy you were able to see him an a new light at the end. May he rest in peace until you meet again on equal footing.
The way life should be.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,088
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,088 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. If you truly forgave him you'd not be on here announcing that he lived his life as an ass hole. But, condolences and whatever. Gee... I think the Flave has a point? I disagree. I also disagree. Forget the ever-present naysayers. May your daddy Rest In Peace, and may you have peace. So sorry for your loss.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424
Campfire Sage
|
|
Campfire Sage
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 115,424 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. If you truly forgave him you'd not be on here announcing that he lived his life as an ass hole. But, condolences and whatever. Gee... I think the Flave has a point? I disagree. Your version of Gideon's Bible must read different than mine. LOL
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual. Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit. My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,132
Campfire 'Bwana
|
|
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,132 |
Good for you, getting some peace. The only bitch I have with my dad is he worked so much he seldom had time to do things with us, but we never did without.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 6,026
Campfire Tracker
|
|
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 6,026 |
Sorry to hear. You are a better man than he.
When its time to fight, you fight like you are the third monkey on the ramp to get on Noah's Arc... and brother, it is starting to rain!
The chair is against the wall.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172 |
Armednfree, well done. You and your surviving family will profit emotionally and spiritually for having done that. My father is 83 and was also abusive to me and my brother and our mother when I was young. I forgave him in 2020 and it was quite a weight off of me. He is sadly not saved through faith in Christ and has no real concept of his need of forgiveness.
I recently went through a 16 week course by Restoration Ministries. One of the many topics was on forgiveness and how vital and powerful it is.
I am sorry for your loss brother.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father. Most people become like their parents, good or bad. Maybe a look at his life might provide some understanding. Along with forgiveness, the best outcome of these cases is when the children recognize their parents’ failings and resolve never to inflict those traumas on their own kids. Prob’ly that’s where you’ve been at for a long time now. That goes both ways. Dad is a drunk and has two sons. And all the baggage that goes with it.. One grows up to be a fine man and good father. The other grows up to be just like dear 'ol dad... Drunkard and abusive. When asked if their childhood full of drunken abuse made them what they are today, they both answered "Yes. How could it not?" You make a choice everyday what to do with the rest of your life. Very astute and well said Rockinbbar
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172 |
I’m not the best dad sometimes and I can be a little tough on my kids. I mostly feel like it’s for their own good, but sometimes I wonder if I need to cool it. This thread makes me think harder about that. Gooch, you have probably heard this before and likely know it but I will say it anyway- discipline out of love, not anger. I do not have any children. Part of the reason for that is that I feared that I might repeat my father's mistakes. I am like him in many ways. Some good and some not so good. I love him dearly.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,839
Campfire Ranger
|
|
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,839 |
I'm sure that all of us here are absolutely wonderful examples of parenthood. I've always thought I did my best, but would still be grateful if I could have a do over.
1Minute
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657
Campfire Oracle
|
|
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657 |
I’m not the best dad sometimes and I can be a little tough on my kids. I mostly feel like it’s for their own good, but sometimes I wonder if I need to cool it. This thread makes me think harder about that. Gooch, you have probably heard this before and likely know it but I will say it anyway- discipline out of love, not anger. I do not have any children. Part of the reason for that is that I feared that I might repeat my father's mistakes. I am like him in many ways. Some good and some not so good. I love him dearly. Well, he did something right. Odds are, your kids would love you dearly too.
Ecc 10:2
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.
A Nation which leaves God behind is soon left behind.
"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".
I Dindo Nuffin
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,597
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,597 |
My condolences Sir. Forgiveness will give you a clear conscience going forward. Well done.
Ron
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
Orwell
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172
Campfire Regular
|
|
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 2,172 |
Jag, he did an awful lot right for sure. That is why I am proud to say that I am like him in many good ways. Still it grieves me that he is missing so much meaning and joy in life that I have due to my faith in Christ.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657
Campfire Oracle
|
|
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father.
Yet two days ago I went to see him in hospice. I saw him there a fragment of the man I knew. Gray, delusional, breathing his last.
I was touched deeply seeing that. I was compelled to do the one thing I could do. To give him the same grace of forgiveness God gave me.
It does not change the past, truth is still truth, but I think it might change the future. If you truly forgave him you'd not be on here announcing that he lived his life as an ass hole. But, condolences and whatever. Gee... I think the Flave has a point? I disagree. I also disagree. Forget the ever-present naysayers. May your daddy Rest In Peace, and may you have peace. So sorry for your loss. Flave is wrong. You showed yourself to be the better man. Dear Father in Heaven, forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive others. You forgave others. GOD Blessed you, God bless yiou.
Last edited by jaguartx; 06/20/22.
Ecc 10:2
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.
A Nation which leaves God behind is soon left behind.
"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".
I Dindo Nuffin
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657
Campfire Oracle
|
|
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 95,657 |
My father at 93 years of age died. Mine and my siblings childhood was full of abuse and defeat at his hands. He was not a good father. Most people become like their parents, good or bad. Maybe a look at his life might provide some understanding. Along with forgiveness, the best outcome of these cases is when the children recognize their parents’ failings and resolve never to inflict those traumas on their own kids. Prob’ly that’s where you’ve been at for a long time now. That goes both ways. Dad is a drunk and has two sons. And all the baggage that goes with it.. One grows up to be a fine man and good father. The other grows up to be just like dear 'ol dad... Drunkard and abusive. When asked if their childhood full of drunken abuse made them what they are today, they both answered "Yes. How could it not?" You make a choice everyday what to do with the rest of your life. Very astute and well said Rockinbbar Yep. Barry knows life.
Ecc 10:2
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.
A Nation which leaves God behind is soon left behind.
"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".
I Dindo Nuffin
|
|
|
|
|
536 members (1beaver_shooter, 1Longbow, 1lessdog, 10gaugemag, 007FJ, 17CalFan, 69 invisible),
2,560
guests, and
1,358
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums81
Topics1,191,447
Posts18,470,977
Members73,934
| |
Most Online11,491
Jul 7th, 2023
|
|
|
|
