Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Persona non grata

Go talk to the chief/sheriff and tell him what's going on and that he can't live in your house anymore. He will help you. (I can't believe I just typed that)

In my career as a police officer, I responded to many similar situations. I’m not sure what the law says where you live Uncle Alva, but I can tell you what happens in Virginia and guess that it’s probably similar where you are.

The number one question is whether or not he established a residence at your address? Did he receive mail there or pay anything toward rent, etc? How long was he there? Those things establish residency. If he was a resident, he has certain rights. You can’t just change the locks and keep him out and you can’t legally remove his belongings. What you can do is have him evicted. It’s a civil process and the Sheriff is responsible for that.

In Virginia, under most circumstances the process takes about 30 days. The first step is legal notice. I’m confident that your local Sheriff has a packet of information that they will provide you with, that explains your rights, his rights and what steps you need to take to evict him.

If he hasn’t established residency, it’s much easier. You simply tell him, with witnesses, or in a certified letter, that he is not welcome in your home and not to return. That’s considered legal notice, if he disregards that he’s a trespasser and can be arrested as such.

First, I would say you don't need to be a total jerk or a-hole to him about the situation.

I would go visit him in Jail and put 20-30 bucks in his canteen as a good gesture. And then ask him where he wants his stuff... because he can't come back to Grand Ma's house... Be respectful and show some sympathy toward his situation and that you can be open to helping him with reasonable needs while he is locked up. But once he gets out. He is on his own, and you are not to be bothered after he gets out.

Even so, when he gets out.... he will be back for more freeloading. I would move my mail box to a po box for a while and change all the locks. All the window at ground level deck screwed shut and motion lights front and back. Get a dog, no better early warning device than a dog.

With that said, keep in mind.... that you always read in the paper, how, "the body was found in a shallow grave..." So, when you get home. find a nice spot in the back and dig a deep hole. You need at least 4 feet or more. Another helpful hint that has worked for me in the past, when you dig out the top soil, put it in a pile by it's self on a tarp next to the hole, then place the subsoil on a different tarp on the other side of the hole. That way the soil goes back in the order it came in and the grass and leaf debris are undisturbed... except where the digging was done. This makes it a lot easier to conceal the place of disposal.. Cover the hole with a piece of plywood until you need to fill the hole back in.

If the day comes, that you have to fill the hole back in.... never, never say a word about it. Never.

As far as his parents go, his Momma died of cancer very young. He was 8. Dad didn't want him.
My wife and her late husband essentially raised him. Did not do a very good job of it. Her husband was a push-over to state it mildly.
I could go on and on about this kid, but its pointless. A few years back he had me so angry I was literally chasing him around the driveway to kick his ass. Even then he probably could have whipped me but he's a coward to the core. It takes a lot to get my Irish up, but he can do it mighty quickly.
My wife has a bond on him that kept him out of jail for awhile, until he had to appear for failing to appear. 17 tickets for driving without a license. Judge sentenced him to 10 days. Thats not a typo.
Tomorrow my wife and I are going to withdraw the bond on him. He has warrants in another county. Without the bond we understand, per the Court Clerk that he will automatically be transferred to the jail in that county. We were told that they would hold him until his first appearance there which is in November.
My wife fully realizes her enablement of this guy and appears to have reached her breaking point. I sure hope so.
He has a bad temper and I have little doubt that at some point this will turn ugly. So be it. I may be old and essentially disabled, but underestimating me is a big mistake.

I do want to say to everyone that has replied that I genuinely appreciate your advice.

4 pound sledge to the base of the skull? LOL

Many towns have some sort of half way house for ex cons getting out. Of course if he doesn't want to go straight, they'd be very unlikely to take him. Their job is to help those who want to be helped.

He is on his own file with the da

You need to be prepared to defend your home. People like that aren't only a danger to themselves, and often turn on the family that gives them tough love. Lay the law down and stick to it. Report him to the police so you can get a report filed in case of the worse scenario. A protection order will cover you in that event.

I do know from my daughter's experience that in this state, if you have a protective order that bars him from your house, he can't come back there, tenancy or no tenancy. If he has issued threats or has raised a hand to strike either of you, the order is a snap. If he has done drugs in your house, I imagine that would also be a snap.

As mikieb says, visit him, put a few bucks in his canteen. Be kind, but be clear.

If he violates either the no tresspass or the protective order, file a report on each incident. The documentation is super important.

I believe I've seen that you are in the New Bern, NC area; you no doubt remember the grandparents who were murdered by their own grandson a year or two back, right there in Craven County. I knew that young man, his parents, and the grandparents he murdered with their own gun(s) while trying to get drug money from them. Don't let that happen to you; it sounds like you have the right attitude toward this wayward grandson. I hope that drugs are not part of his problem, if so that makes him all the more dangerous. Good luck.

First thing that you have to do is make sure that you and your wife are both on the same page and can present a unified front to the guy. What has worked well for me as a landlord is to first meet with the person/people and let them know that it isn't going to work for them continuing to live there. Not confrontational, just adults addressing an issue head on. An eviction is an interminable hassle and little more than a hundred bucks for the city. I tell them that they don't want that on their record, but that they know that I will do that if they don't leave voluntarily. Since he is a relative, I'd explore some options for housing for the guy and maybe employment opportunities and tell him that it is time to be an adult. Do not let him back into the house and you keep a low profile when he is out. He will likely do one of three things. Man up, go back to jail or off himself when he can't cope.

Uncle Alvah, my advice is to proceed with caution and close this thread. Mackay Sagebrush offered solid advice and you would be wise to heed it. Make sure your family avoids any potential danger or harm.

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Id go to local police or sherif's office first. Ask to speak to duty officer. as stated laws vary by county, city, state etc.

Document any prior threats, violent behavior, drug use etc

Absolutely second what Mackay said. In my neck of the woods a restraining order would prevent him from trespassing on your property and your place of employment but more importantly, would also prohibit him coming within a certain distance of you/your wife where ever you may be. It is also the device that legally severs that family connection - if he is served with it, it removes any excuse he can come up, if he should choose to confront you or trespass.

Another classic.....
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He is in jail and go tell him yourself. Take everything he owns and ask him where he wants it dumped. You might even get a you-store-it for him and dump it in there then go back to the jail and give him the one and only key with the understanding there is absolutely NO reason to ever come back to your house. Now is not the time to be wishy washy. Which grandparents seem to want to do.

kwg

No. It's a bad idea.

He'll just break in and pawn all his guns before he gets back.

New dumb law in IL beginning in next Jan forbids police from removing a trespasser unless he is a danger.
SAFE-T act. No cash bail, lots of felonies non bail (walk out) including ag assault, 2 deg murder, etc