Me and the old lady were walking the 40 back behind the doublewide last week. I heard a loud roar coming from an ironwood thicket off to my right. No sooner than I looked over that way, I saw a well maned male lion airborne about 12 feet in the air on a path right for the wife. Thanks to the speed and lightning quick reflexes that bicycling have given me, I lunged with all of my worth right toward him and speered him in the head like a crack addled linebacker. It knocked him plum the fugk out.
I ran the wife back to the trailer and locked her up. I grabbed the 404 Webley and headed back out to give him the coup de gras. When I got back to where he was, he was gone. I figured he was stalking the old lady so I sprinted back toward the double wide. Sure enough, there he was walking toward the front door. Not wanting to take a risky Texas Heart Shot, I ran up and smacked him on the ass to get him to turn around. He was faster than I thought, so I didn't have time lower the barrel. Instinctively, from all of my Special Beret training, I gave him a but stroke to the head. There he lay and quivered for a second before giving up the ghost. Never had to fire a shot. We took a quick pic.
I figured I'd get him mounted. He was too heavy to throw in the back of the Colorado, so I went out to the shed to get the tractor. It took a while to disconnect the manure spreader and get the front end loader hooked up. By the time I got back the coyotes had dragged him off into the mesquite.