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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,290 Likes: 1
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,290 Likes: 1 |
My brother in law committed suicide this past week. Really a caring, gentle, easy going guy with a good job and no addictions. No outward signs of what he was holding in or the troubles that he felt were insurmountable. Just the wrong personality to be in charge on his mothers affairs.
A brother and sister were very predatory on him. He went to a meeting with the Trustee and his brother -- never came home. Jumped from a bridge. Single income family with no kids. My sister will be having major adjustments to make going forward.
Just makes the saying you can pick your friends but not your family all the more true. Helping my sister through the estate paperwork --- just makes me feel hollow. Tragic, senseless and avoidable. Sometimes in the long run it is just better to say no to family requests and move on.
In the job I retired from I had to deal with a number of student suicides -- I could never understand the depth of dispair / torment that would cause a person to take this route. I still do not understand this.
Hugh
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 12,167 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 12,167 Likes: 4 |
Hugh; I am so very sorry to read of this sir.
Ugh.
Your wife, you and those left behind are in my thoughts and prayers.
That's so tough to read and again I'm so sorry.
Dwayne
The most important stuff in life isn't "stuff"
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,888 Likes: 60
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,888 Likes: 60 |
Very sorry.
Hard not to judge....but a person has to try not to.
Good luck.
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,192 Likes: 29
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 17,192 Likes: 29 |
I feel your pain. I've been in your shoes to a certain degree and wish you patience and fortitude. It sucks but you have to do the best you can.
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Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 11,006 Likes: 6
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 11,006 Likes: 6 |
Sorry to hear this, Hugh. It seems that in times like these no real logic or reason applies.
May you and your family find peace.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 4,397 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 4,397 Likes: 1 |
A situation i have no experience with....sorry for your family's pain...
Prayers sent....
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,919 Likes: 30
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 8,919 Likes: 30 |
Hugh, you and your sister will be in my prayers. 7mm
"Preserving the Constitution, fighting off the nibblers and chippers, even nibblers and chippers with good intentions, was once regarded by conservatives as the first duty of the citizen. It still is." � Wesley Pruden
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 23,538 Likes: 20
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 23,538 Likes: 20 |
Sorry for your pain/loss. Had a hunting buddy kill himself this year. It was very unexpected and it took some time for the shock to wear off.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 12,098 Likes: 46
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 12,098 Likes: 46 |
Sorry to hear. Been through this before. Not much i can say to ease the pain
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,233
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,233 |
Hugh, so very sorry to hear of you BIL’s death. Everyone has their own demons to battle. Please know that your family is in our prayers.
“My horn is full and my pouch is stocked with ball and patch. There is a new, sharp flint in my lock and my rifle and I are ready. It is sighted true and my eyes can still aim.” Kaywoodie
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,622 Likes: 9
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,622 Likes: 9 |
damn , I feel your pain found my best friend since childhood in 2008 with his brains splattered on his deck ...
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,775 Likes: 11
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,775 Likes: 11 |
Very sorry to hear that, no words can truly comfort in time like this.
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,793
Campfire Outfitter
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Joined: Aug 2011
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l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right. - Del Gue
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,346 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,346 Likes: 7 |
I lost a brother in law to suicide too, I never tried to understand it.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 9,645 Likes: 2
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 9,645 Likes: 2 |
All you can do is be there for your Sister at this point
Family support for everyone affected.
Sorry for your and your sisters loss
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,798 Likes: 4
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,798 Likes: 4 |
Very sorry.
Hard not to judge....but a person has to try not to.
Good luck. Yep….. This is the one area where my opinion/thinking has changed greatly in 24 years. George
�Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.�
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,229
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,229 |
Suicide is a hard thing to deal with. Been a cop for over twenty years and have lost many friends to it. Most were also combat vets. I've had the intrusive thoughts, gone a little ways down the rabbit hole. It seems like a relief, just to not have to fu*k with the BS anymore. I understand it but don't wish it on anyone. It's, in my experience, a spur of the moment decision. Pissed, depressed, tired, the hell with it, I'm popping smoke. sorry for your loss and wish you luck with your wife, she's got a big hill to climb. If you need someone to bounce stuff off of feel free to PM me. I've got some experience but more importantly, I've got some good contacts if you feel she needs them. Patrick
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left....
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Joined: Feb 2021
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 810 Likes: 7 |
I have lost both a close friend and my closest cousin to suicide. One committed suicide before his brain deteriorated into making him into a vegetable. I can only speculate about the other death - we really don’t know why he made his choice - none of us saw it coming.
Allow yourself and your family plenty of time to grieve. Talk about it when you need to. Cry when you need to.
Adventure is the only thing you buy that makes you richer
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,965 Likes: 5
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,965 Likes: 5 |
It's your sister that my thoughts and prayers are with. Sometimes suicide is a selfish act when people don't consider how it will impact their family.
But I've known of times when it was a selfless act when people did consider how their family would be impacted. One of my wife's uncles had fought hard to beat cancer once. A few years later it came back. On the morning he was supposed to go to the hospital for surgery he decided to end his life on his terms to spare his family.
I've known of many others who took their own lives. A college buddy whose son saw too much in his 3 tours in Afghanistan. A father who cheated on his wife and couldn't live with himself even though his wife forgave him. A mom dying of cancer who killed her 11-year-old son then herself to make sure her ex didn't get custody of the boy.
It happens more often than we realize.
Most people don't really want the truth.
They just want constant reassurance that what they believe is the truth.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,761 Likes: 7
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,761 Likes: 7 |
I am very sorry for your loss.
That is tough. My prayers are with you and your family.
The deer hunter does not notice the mountains
"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve" - Isoroku Yamamoto
There sure are a lot of America haters that want to live here...
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