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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,975 Likes: 1
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,975 Likes: 1 |
I hate to see things wasted. The air that you breathe for example.
Wind in my hair, Sun on my face, I gazed at the wide open spaces, And I was at home.
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Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 1,922
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 1,922 |
Well.....bless....your.....heart......
I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children may live in peace. ~~ Thomas Paine
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,348 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,348 Likes: 1 |
When I worked in the solder factory, they put me out on the floor to cross-train in the casting area. I was 6'4". My supervisor was about 4'0" One day, I came on shift and the guy who'd just gone home had assed up things, and I was sent to fix it. I was down on the floor, rearranging 20 lb billets when the super came out and started reaming me.
About halfway through the abuse, I got off the floor where I was feeling cramped and stood up to my full height. The super suddenly changed his tune.
"You're probably thinking right now that I should not be reaming you for someone else's F---up." he said.
I just looked at him.
"You're probably sizing me up right about now, figuring how you're going to pound me into the concrete if I don't shut up."
I just kept looking at him. I was too busy stretching my bones. I hurt.
"I should prolly just shut the f--- up and let you get back to work."
"Have a good one, Boss. " I said, as he left.
I'd pretty well forgotten that scene. I'd gotten to really like the guy, and we'd been quite friendly. He knew I was the only one in IT that cared about Casting, and he knew he could always rely on me to do right for his guys. About 5 years later, we were in the Plant Manager's office. We'd both come to see his secretary.
All of a sudden, the super brought up that scene from 5 years back, with the secretary watching. You could tell the incident had been eating on him all this time.
"You know," he said. "I could have taken you that day."
"I have no doubt," I replied.
"No, I really mean it," he said. "You ask anyone. I could have taken you."
"I'm sure of it," I said. "I know exactly what you mean."
"How's that?"
"My dad's brother came out of the Army Air Corp as a heavyweight boxing champion after WWII. He wanted to stop fighting, but he was always getting picked on by guys who had something to prove. One night a midget challenged Uncle Henry to a fight, and Henry tried to laugh him off. That midget jumped up and grabbed Henry by the shirt collar and hoisted himself up and beat Henry to a bloody pulp. My family has had great respect for folks like that ever since."
My old supervisor turned red and his veins popped, and he stormed out of the secretary's office, slamming the door as he went.
"I think I just took him," I said to the secretary. She agreed.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,036 Likes: 9
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,036 Likes: 9 |
"That woman is so ugly that screwing her would be like shooting pool with a piece of overcooked spaghetti!"
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
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Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 2,701 Likes: 1
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 2,701 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,459 Likes: 15
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,459 Likes: 15 |
"That woman is so ugly that screwing her would be like shooting pool with a piece of overcooked spaghetti!" Remember that even overcooked spaghetti will dry out and get stiff again...usually about closing time.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” ― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 821
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 821 |
He was the type of fella that sat on the front pew of the church when his mamma and daddy got married.
My friend and fellow principal used this phrase to describe a student that we both had dealings with. Yeah, I know you’re not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. We were in mixed company, a female attendance officer and female guidance counselor. It went right over their heads and neither caught on.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,550
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,550 |
I just remembered this one from my freshman year in college. A goofball popped up with what he thought was a witty comment about his conception. He said his father pulled out and shot a load onto the wall, but he ricocheted off the wall and hit a bullseye. A guy with a quick wit said the best part stuck to the wall.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,921 Likes: 1
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,921 Likes: 1 |
I haven't read through all of this thread, but one of my Winston Churchill favorites:
"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing. After they've exhausted all the other options."
He was so spot-on with that assessment.
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 972 Likes: 2
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 972 Likes: 2 |
I've seen monkey schit fights at the zoo better organized than this! Jack Warden "The Replacements"
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong. Getting into reloading to save money is like getting married for free sex.
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 2,854 Likes: 3
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 2,854 Likes: 3 |
You Sir, " have no love affair of the truth"
Due to the increased price of ammo, don't expect a warning shot...
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Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,312 Likes: 22
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 17,312 Likes: 22 |
You really are bent on testing my ability to see the best in people.
-OMotS
"If memory serves fails me..." Quote: ( unnamed) "been prtty deep in the cooler todaay " Television and radio are most effective when people question little and think even less.
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Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 10,247 Likes: 7
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 10,247 Likes: 7 |
i am busier than a jumper cable in the parking lot of a mexican wedding. ( california insult )
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,827 Likes: 1
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,827 Likes: 1 |
I can explain to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,036 Likes: 9
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 10,036 Likes: 9 |
"He ain't got a noddin' acquaintance with the truth, let alone a speakin' one!"
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 169
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 169 |
One from work - "3 million sperm cells and YOU were the winner? "
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,240
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,240 |
A father I knew was examining his son's wrecked pick-up at the mechanic shop
"Sometimes I think the best part of him ran down his mother's leg"
I could wish a lot of things on my worst enemy but neuropathy ain't one of them.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,198 Likes: 34
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 59,198 Likes: 34 |
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,184 Likes: 17
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,184 Likes: 17 |
“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.” ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,184 Likes: 17
Campfire Kahuna
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OP
Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,184 Likes: 17 |
The Twain speaks...
...he wasn't a very heavy weight, intellectually. His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once. - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
Endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie. - Mark Twain in Eruption
I do not believe I could learn to like her except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. (regarding Lilian Aldrich) - Mark Twain in Eruption
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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