· Apr 2, 2024 · BabylonBee.com Click here to view this article with reduced ads. Article Image
ALBANY, NY — Thousands of fans in attendance and millions of television viewers were witnesses to history, as Caitlin Clark was canonized as a saint after performing the miracle of making women's basketball watchable.
The unprecedented feat of making people enjoy watching women's basketball, which left the world in awe due to its magnitude and resulted in a rare case of a person being canonized as a saint while still alive, was long thought to be impossible in our world before the University of Iowa standout exhibited supernatural powers.
"This fits every criteria of being a miracle," said a representative of the Vatican. "It is highly unusual for His Holiness to consider canonizing a living person, but once we were notified that Caitlin Clark had made women's basketball watchable, he had little choice in the matter. Have you ever sat through an entire women's basketball game before? Of course not. No one has. This can only be seen as an act of God."
Fans in attendance at the Iowa-LSU game knew they had been a part of a miraculous event. "It was as though the heavens opened," said Barry Poppen. "I've made several attempts during my life to watch women's basketball, but I've never been able to do it. I thought it could never be done. Then I saw Caitlin Clark play. It was like scales fell from my eyes so I could watch the game. Praise the Lord!"
At publishing time, the Catholic Church was reportedly in the process of officially naming Caitlin Clark the Matron Saint of Unwatchable Sports.
· Apr 2, 2024 · BabylonBee.com Click here to view this article with reduced ads. Article Image
ALBANY, NY — Thousands of fans in attendance and millions of television viewers were witnesses to history, as Caitlin Clark was canonized as a saint after performing the miracle of making women's basketball watchable.
The unprecedented feat of making people enjoy watching women's basketball, which left the world in awe due to its magnitude and resulted in a rare case of a person being canonized as a saint while still alive, was long thought to be impossible in our world before the University of Iowa standout exhibited supernatural powers.
"This fits every criteria of being a miracle," said a representative of the Vatican. "It is highly unusual for His Holiness to consider canonizing a living person, but once we were notified that Caitlin Clark had made women's basketball watchable, he had little choice in the matter. Have you ever sat through an entire women's basketball game before? Of course not. No one has. This can only be seen as an act of God."
Fans in attendance at the Iowa-LSU game knew they had been a part of a miraculous event. "It was as though the heavens opened," said Barry Poppen. "I've made several attempts during my life to watch women's basketball, but I've never been able to do it. I thought it could never be done. Then I saw Caitlin Clark play. It was like scales fell from my eyes so I could watch the game. Praise the Lord!"
At publishing time, the Catholic Church was reportedly in the process of officially naming Caitlin Clark the Matron Saint of Unwatchable Sports.
Speaking of the Pope. Caitlin is catholic. She went to school at Dowling High school in West Des Moines which is a private catholic school and she had originally verbally agreed to go to Notre Dame but then changed her mind and went to Iowa instead.
kwg
For liberals and anarchists, power and control is opium, selling envy is the fastest and easiest way to get it. TRR. American conservative. Never trust a white liberal. Malcom X Current NRA member.
Yep. Good family friend is and always has been a huge IA wbb fan. And she has been exceedingly loud these past couple years. So we, especially the wife, have been aying some attention this season. Watched part of the earlier WVU and CO games this tournament. Watched pretty much all the IA - LSU game. Tried watching the USC-UCONN game that came on afterwards. Think we last barely into the early part of the second period ad the wife launched the remote to me and said find something else to watch.
Its all right to be white!! Stupidity left unattended will run rampant Don't argue with stupid people, They will drag you down to their level and then win by experience
This is the first time I ever watched an entire girl's basketball game. My previous record was 2 minutes of watching.
Have to say she has given more reason to watch any woman's team sport than ......anyone.
When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are something to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honors are something to be ashamed of . Confucius
