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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
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I have news to report from my outpost and sorry to say our side is losing in NW Pa. I have a flock of chickens that in the spring numbered 13, 5 of which layed daily, 8 of which I had plans for laying in the late summer. Currently we have been besieged and their numbers have been reduced to 5. The enemy has changed tactics and started digging under the wall of the hen's coop and in one of those raids took 3 at once. I have since reinforces the walls with cement blocks, and they have yet to work around those barricades. Not to be outdone they again changed tactics to ripping through the screen windows and in one of those raids killed three and wounded 1 that later succumbed to its injuries. One of my hens was then wounded when it went A.W.O.L and wouldn't return to its baracks at night. We thought it would fight the good fight and mend, but went down with gangrene. I have in turn killed 11 of the enemies but more advance weekly. My main method of dispatch is baiting with bread and peanut butter and then dispatched the rotten sobs with a ten pump bb gun to the forehead. I have used a 22long and didn't care for the pass through pinging off the bottom of the cage at my feet. I have more to report on a few of the enemy encounters but my battle brief doesn't seem too brief.
general mills
Tell me the odds of putting grease on the same pancake? I Know they are there, well ice and house slippers. -Kawi
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
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Hang in there Mills, you will overcome. Also sorry to hear of the KIA and WIA in your ranks.
We are maintaining at present but are expecting renewed attacks at any time.
Gn'l Neu Sance
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 16,032
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 16,032 |
To all troops:
Maintain high alert. The enemy seems to be trying flanking manuvers and mineing operations.
To all who so gallantly bear the brunt of battle you have the thanks of a greatful nation and the admiration of generations of coon fighters yet unborn.
War to the knife. No surrender No retreat.
Gen Cornpone.
Quando Omni Moritati
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 33,856
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Mar 2011
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But they know where the handouts are and who to vote for.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time by the blood of patriots and tyrants.
If being stupid allows me to believe in Him, I'd wish to be a retard. Eisenhower and G Washington should be good company.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 14,953
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2010
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"NO QUARTER' - General Panic
--- CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE --- A Magic Time To Be An Illegal In America---
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,822
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2003
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But they know where the handouts are and who to vote for. Eyeball, aka "Major Defeat", please do not be discouraged in this time of struggle. Sometimes a guerilla action must be employed utilizing stealth and trickery to avoid those who would offer aid and comfort to the enemy. Remember, "All is fair in love and war"! Maj. Malfunction
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
Damn, done snuck in under the fence in daylight while I was out scouting. Got "Sterling" the rooster and one of the little black gals (hen). Insidious bastards are gonna PAY!
Gn'l Neu Sance.
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,499
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
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I'll tell my tale of direct threat from one of their ranks, this one actually threatened my own troops. Private first born and private second born were pulling bicycle duty up and down the driveway when private 1st born says" hey dad a racoon!!". I thought this odd because is was 15:00 not dark thirty when they usually attack. We'll this devil appeared to be out of his mind and actually made an advance on my troops. I yelled for a immediate retreat back to home base and to bar the doors. I grabbed my 22 semi and ran to meet the foe face to face and rather than high tail it the furry little demon was now double timing in my direction. 3 rounds to the face stopped him in his tracks( although I have to admit that the first round probably went wide because I was a little taken back by his charge). It was a desperate situation but we continue to persevere.
God speed gentlemen.
General Mills.
Tell me the odds of putting grease on the same pancake? I Know they are there, well ice and house slippers. -Kawi
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 73,096 |
That is the way man, staunch courage in the face of the enemy is what it takes to win the day.
Gn'l Neu Sance
George Orwell was a Prophet, not a novelist. Read 1984 and then look around you!
Old cat turd!
"Some men just need killing." ~ Clay Allison.
I am too old to fight but I can still pull a trigger. ~ Me
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,389
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,389 |
Handle him carefully, Gen Mills - he may be rabid, sir!
Cpl Punishment
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
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I handled him with care because I was under the same impression, I put him in a shallow unmarked grave. Later I was told I should have cremated him, we live to fight another day!!
Gen. M
Tell me the odds of putting grease on the same pancake? I Know they are there, well ice and house slippers. -Kawi
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5,042
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5,042 |
In light of recent hostility on other fronts I decided to take punitive action against a seemingly peaceful member of the hostile forces. His innocent walk in the pasture ( likely a front for espionage) ended in a tangle with homeyard defense officer 'Tuff'. The canine forces provide no quarter nor do they negotiate with terrorists..... potential threat neutralized.
Corporal Clem Cladiddlyhopper
The view one sees is his own
Practitioner of the ancient art of skank fu
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
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One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,822
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,822 |
I'll tell my tale of direct threat from one of their ranks, this one actually threatened my own troops. Private first born and private second born were pulling bicycle duty up and down the driveway when private 1st born says" hey dad a racoon!!". I thought this odd because is was 15:00 not dark thirty when they usually attack. We'll this devil appeared to be out of his mind and actually made an advance on my troops. I yelled for a immediate retreat back to home base and to bar the doors. I grabbed my 22 semi and ran to meet the foe face to face and rather than high tail it the furry little demon was now double timing in my direction. 3 rounds to the face stopped him in his tracks( although I have to admit that the first round probably went wide because I was a little taken back by his charge). It was a desperate situation but we continue to persevere.
God speed gentlemen.
General Mills. Gen Mills, Given the dire conditions you faced, I will hereby recommend to Gen. Cornpone that you be granted a double portion of "Old Group Tightener and Fish Enlarger" as reward for your gallantry in the face of mortal peril. Your Humble Servant, Maj.Malfunction
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2003
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One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........ EH76, Do you believe the enemy combatant was enroute to the Border? If so, you should immediately inform our northern allies. Good job with the 460, by the way, we can't take any chances. Maj. Malfunction
"Not in an open forum, where truth has less value than opinions, where all opinions are equally welcome regardless of their origins, rationale, inanity, or truth, where opinions are neither of equal value nor decisive." Ken Howell
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 19,503 |
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........ Probably running steel jacketed radials, right sir? Regards, Corporal Can Coon
4 out of 5 Great Lakes prefer Michigan. 
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52,680 |
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........ EH76, Do you believe the enemy combatant was enroute to the Border? If so, you should immediately inform our northern allies. Good job with the 460, by the way, we can't take any chances. Maj. Malfunction Maj Malfunction, I do believe he was! Got him in the north bound lane of I-25! Humbly yours, The Wyoming Contingent One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........ Probably running steel jacketed radials, right sir? Regards, Corporal Can Coon Corporal Can Coon, Correct BF Goodrich A/T coon mashers. Humbly yours, The Wyoming Contingent
Liberalism is a mental disorder that leads to social disease.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,313
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,313 |
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........ At least it wasn't with that .22 WMR pistol your so fond of carrying! If he was headed North, I'm sure you would have put a round through his "Southern Exposure" just like that skunk in the field last year!!  May bring my S&W 48 to Antelope camp this year.....
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 16,032
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 16,032 |
To All Troops:
Maintain high alert. The enemy is on the move.
Beware flanking movements.
Our enemy is diabolical and bloodthirsty.
Decorations and suitable libations ordered for all.
Gen Cornpone
Quando Omni Moritati
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,614
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,614 |
Communiqure from Fort Zinderneuf
On the frontier;
Start
Insurgents under their leader Abd el Coon made a recce "en masse" last Thursday evening. Two were gutshot while trying to escape to the safety of their lair in the hills behind the fort.
Stop
Major Debris
Commandant
Fort Zinderneuf
Founder
Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester
"Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should in their own confines with forked heads
Have their round haunches gored."
WS
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