Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Wife doesn't love me

Or, did she bone someone else and he/she/it is bugging her?

Damn. I am ver sorry to hear of this. I wish you and your family all the best.

Are you really happy? with here?? I bet she has made your life hell for a while? I have been in same situation and tried to do everything to please her and she just made it impossible to work anything out. She already had a complete support group lined up and complicit in her decision, other girl friends. I should have said Well Bye and got on with my life. I went to several counselor's until I had a counselor say,to me , that it was her problem and the quicker I realized it the better off I and my kids would be. Tough to be in your situation. I feel your pain.
I would ask her one time if she really wanted to go to counseling. If she say no,then BYE. Save your money,emotion and time. I was looking at it as a loss and I should have been looking at it as a big win. I did not have to put up with her crap anymore and I could go where I wanted and do what I wanted without the fights and emotion roller coaster. Hope the best for you and your children.

You Rock, Sir.

Has she said what she would like? I mean, i know that we all do things that our spouses may not like, but i usually just ask my wife how i can make it right.

Perhaps she wants a career? Maybe she needs something to do? The kids are in school during the day right? Boredom could be a huge part of this.

Please tell me how to balance my life with my kids? I adore them all and we have great relationships. I cant imagine not living in the same house----not afraid to say that tears are rolling down my face.

I'd say she has made plans for her future that do not include you. If it is presented as a fait accompli then it's been in the works for years.

I was EXACTLY where you are in your life 12 years ago.

I wasn't able to turn it around.

You can't build a wall high enough or a fence strong enough, or love her more if she wants out. Don't beat yourself up about that. It ain't you dude. As hard as it is, you got to let her go. She obviously has something broken, I would venture a guess that you have been keeping the lid on the boiling pot for a long time, and it finally boiled over. It ain't you. It is her. So while you ain't perfect, don't beat yourself up about her decision. If she is anything like mine, she will try projecting the blame on you.

12 years later, my kids realize now that while I am not perfect, it was their Mom who is the damaged goods. While not bad, she is messed up as a soup sandwich, and they see that now. And the foolish choices and statements she makes. Point being, in time, the kids will see what is messed up. So will her family and all your friends.

Don't speak I'll of their Mom - ever, and they will see you were the one with class and character and she was the one who doesn't have those things.

I wish you the best. It is awful. I wouldn't wish what you are going through on my worst enemy.

If it comes down to it, ask for custody.

As for balancing your life with your kids? I will pass on the best advice i ever received from a member here.

Your life is no longer about you. The children come first. You need to do what is best for them. If that means they go with mom, then so be it. Do your best to be a good father regardless. They will thank you for it in the long run. And the advice regarding keeping the bitterness out of your relationship with your kids is crucial. I saw that with my father all my life. Its screwed up.

quite simple STAY IN THEIR LIVES, just cause you and their mom split does not take you out of the equation at all....keep whats in their best interest at the forefront of all this and you being there is a part of this....

get a damn good lawyer and make sure the language is there that keeps you in their lives

get it done as quick as possible, dragging it out to make her pay is only going to hurt your relationship with them and gain you little in the long run

dont run down their mom in front of them EVER

aint gonna lie, it all really phuggin sucks and is stressful as hell, just put whats best for your kids first and get through it as quickly as you can.....

i drug out giving up on my ex who had moved on from me for three years past what i should of and all it did was screw me up worse....didnt phase her one bit....

You may turn it around, but she has a boyfriend.

I make 6 figures, but it wont be enough to run our house and a place for me?? how does that work?? am I going to be flat broke-busted the rest of my life? She has a degree and can make 40-50k if she had to. will the courts make her go back to work?? How will I be able to live like that.

I have been in your shoes. In my opinion, the only way she may come to her senses is that she realizes what SHE lost. I would absolutely take the high road with the kids, but I would not let her see you sweat right now. Take the lead on the next steps regarding the Living situation, Money, Arrangements with Kids, etc. Once she realizes you are not going to be her punching bag, she may come to the realization of what she may lose. In other words, the best defense, is a good offense right now. Best wishes!

P&Y

That's why you need a good attorney, soon.

whelennut, Sorry for the loss of your wife. Don't know if you had children but if you did, don't get remarried. Shack up, cohabitate, life partners, whatever you want to call it, but re-marriage will end up screwing over your kids. Just my perspective, good luck on the dating scene!

COVER YOUR ASS NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Protect as many assets as you can, talk to a lawyer in the morning.

Protect your kids, emotionally and financially.

You need to go get a very good Lawyer, right now. Ask him how to get the most for you and your children. The courts won't make her do anything. She believes you are going to support her and you need to get your a$$ covered right now. You will then be in a better place to help your children. She has a plan and you need to get ahead of the curve quick.

Like was said earlier, you're gonna be okay. That's probably hard to see right now. Do not beat yourself up over this. It's okay to be introspective and ask what or if you could've done better, but don't bear the brunt of this.

I do believe that no matter how good a woman is, that their nature is to not let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another. Sounds brutal to say, but many have lived it. I hope that's not the case here.

Take care of yourself and your kids, stay steady at work, and seek good counsel. Friends will expect you to lean heavily on them during the times ahead. Do so.

I hope the best for you.

I honestly think everything happens for a reason.

Be thankful for your kids and roll with the punches I guess.

It ain't you friend - and like others have said; be strong find a good lawyer, and don't let her see you sweat.