There is a Mexican movie with sub titles, "Like Water for Chocolate" with a woman who has constant gas, so must make love through a embroidered hole in the sheets.
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. -Ernest Hemingway The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.-- Edward John Phelps
It was about a soldier who is dying, while Dr's are doing CPR and trying to save him. While he is dying, he is having delusions about being back home. In his delusions, his dead son finally comes to him to take him up the stairs....to heaven. And the soldier dies. Dr's exclaim something in the end, to say that he really struggled in his last moments. Come to find out, the soldiers in his platoon were part of an experiment, unbeknownst to them. They had been given doses of some drug, a hallucinogen, to make them better fighters or something. This soldier was attacked by one of his fellow soldiers. He and the platoon didn't survive, because they attacked and killed each other. That's all I remember about the film.
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
Loving some of these. Dolomite rocks! Pinnacle of blacksploitation awesomeness.
Cabin Boy- great call out.
Famous awful one - "Manos, the hand of fate" is legendary.
My personal cryptonite was "The Game". Sean Pen + Michael Doulgas = real stupid.
For a great minute of film badness check out the worst death scene ever. Bad filming, bad music, and not just a few inconsistencies. Try to count them all.
Enjoy.
When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are something to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honors are something to be ashamed of . Confucius
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment. � WARREN G. BENNIS
I've waded through this thread, and I think a bunch of y'all are missing something: the worst movies are not the ones you think are horribly bad, but the ones you forget. You sit through 2 hours of mindless goo and walk away so unimpressed that the next day you can't remember them.
I used to be a budding young film dude. I even sold a feature film script 35 years ago, back before I discovered even being successful didn't mean you'd make any money at it. There was a decade or so where a bunch of us would screen films on a regular basis that make any of your choices for worst pale.
Sometimes I'd host a party when I could get hold of stuff, other times it would be at somebody else's place. We'd deliberately watch this stuff, picking it apart for why the @$#@# somebody would do such dreck. This was back before VHS, so it took being jacked in and being able to get hold of a 16 mm print and a projector.
Plan 9? Dang! You should see Glen or Glenda if you want bad. The Ed Wood catalog is filled with gems like this from the bottom of the barrel, but there really are worse out there.
Ishtar? Bad, pointless, but good production values. It had a really stupid plot, that's all.
Casablanca? All I can say is that I KNEW I was getting lucky if that was showing at the local art house, and I could feed her a good meal afterwards. Like it or not, anyone who says this movie is the worst has never gone real far out in the shallow end of cinema. Heck there are a bunch of Warner Bros. flicks that used the same actors in basically the same roles that were supposed to be knock-offs of Casablanca. Those MUST be worse
As I said, the worst are the ones you can't remember. However, there is one that stands out in my mind. Snow White and the Three Stooges. It is memorably forgettable for two reasons:
1) It is done on ice 2) It has Curly Joe 3) You hardly see the 3 Stooges
Everything up until 1985 you can bet I saw. A good number of them I forget.
What isn't listed is what's called "Four-Wallers". These were films where the distributor would go into a theatre and buy the right to show the film for a period of a period of time. He did his own marketing. The theatre owner was just renting the space. If you're really looking for bad, I'd go looking in the real of Four Wallers. The worst one I ever saw from that genre was a Sasquatch documentary that wholly revolved around the Patterson-Gimlin footage-- a minute's total. The rest was goo.
You guys are of an age where you got to remember Four-Wallers, don't you? The ones with all the hype with all the really bad posters that would haunt your small town theater for a month, keeping all the good flicks away? The last time I saw one ( I don't remember what it was) was at the theater in downtown Lebanon, Ohio. Shortly after that the theater closed for good.
Okay, sorry if already nominated but Dracula 3000 is so incredibly bad it goes right up to the concept of "so bad it's good", hate rapes that concept from hell to breakfast, then rockets straight off to being too awful to describe. It's even got actors that, while hardly A Listers, are established performers. The ending is so WTF? you'll swear they just figured out the movie couldn't be saved and just quit.
I strongly encourage everyone to go to IMDB and read the people's reviews. It's hilarious. Here's just a taste:
"This is, by far, the single biggest waste of hours you could otherwise spend contemplating the importance of dish towels and their effect on your life. I would far rather be trapped in a bathroom for weeks with nothing to consume but my own urine and excrement than watch even a single clip of this movie again."
If there's one thing I've become certain of it's that there's too much certainty in the world.
I've waded through this thread, and I think a bunch of y'all are missing something: the worst movies are not the ones you think are horribly bad, but the ones you forget. You sit through 2 hours of mindless goo and walk away so unimpressed that the next day you can't remember them.
I used to be a budding young film dude. I even sold a feature film script 35 years ago, back before I discovered even being successful didn't mean you'd make any money at it. There was a decade or so where a bunch of us would screen films on a regular basis that make any of your choices for worst pale.
Sometimes I'd host a party when I could get hold of stuff, other times it would be at somebody else's place. We'd deliberately watch this stuff, picking it apart for why the @$#@# somebody would do such dreck. This was back before VHS, so it took being jacked in and being able to get hold of a 16 mm print and a projector.
Plan 9? Dang! You should see Glen or Glenda if you want bad. The Ed Wood catalog is filled with gems like this from the bottom of the barrel, but there really are worse out there.
Ishtar? Bad, pointless, but good production values. It had a really stupid plot, that's all.
Casablanca? All I can say is that I KNEW I was getting lucky if that was showing at the local art house, and I could feed her a good meal afterwards. Like it or not, anyone who says this movie is the worst has never gone real far out in the shallow end of cinema. Heck there are a bunch of Warner Bros. flicks that used the same actors in basically the same roles that were supposed to be knock-offs of Casablanca. Those MUST be worse
As I said, the worst are the ones you can't remember. However, there is one that stands out in my mind. Snow White and the Three Stooges. It is memorably forgettable for two reasons:
1) It is done on ice 2) It has Curly Joe 3) You hardly see the 3 Stooges
Everything up until 1985 you can bet I saw. A good number of them I forget.
What isn't listed is what's called "Four-Wallers". These were films where the distributor would go into a theatre and buy the right to show the film for a period of a period of time. He did his own marketing. The theatre owner was just renting the space. If you're really looking for bad, I'd go looking in the real of Four Wallers. The worst one I ever saw from that genre was a Sasquatch documentary that wholly revolved around the Patterson-Gimlin footage-- a minute's total. The rest was goo.
You guys are of an age where you got to remember Four-Wallers, don't you? The ones with all the hype with all the really bad posters that would haunt your small town theater for a month, keeping all the good flicks away? The last time I saw one ( I don't remember what it was) was at the theater in downtown Lebanon, Ohio. Shortly after that the theater closed for good.
Those usually became the Saturday matinee 'filler' movies for pre-teens and 'make-out' flicks for teen-agers in the evening showings.
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