I turn 69 in four days.
I am on my third marriage, which is now on the rocks.
My kids are grown. They are successful and on their own. I seldom see them or even hear from them.
I have no occupation.
My health is a ticking time bomb. Obese, diabetic, no teeth, blind in one eye, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, high cholesterol.
Very little cash, no credit.
I see few options on how I can proceed.
Staring down the barrel of homelessness.
I need a miracle.
However, I believe this to be true:

It is better to be alone, than wish it.

I guess if your kids are grown and they arent calling you asking for money youve at least done something right 👍

Sounds to me like you have nowhere to go but up.

However you will need to take responsibility, yourself, for improving your lot. Get to it.

Kids will probably stick you in a nursing home at some point. Then you be really fugged!

This morning , I found $10 in a pair of shorts I ain’t worn in 15 years.

I’m headed to Dollar General to get me some Keystone

Take your SS money and move to Costa Rica, rent a small apartment in one of the many beach towns, get in shape and then get a young girlfriend.

Thank me later.

I’m sorry to hear all that.

My own kids are ages 6 and nineteen. I love being a dad and look forward to eventually being a grandfather. My wife and I have a somewhat less than ideal relationship. I have a handful of hobbies and several interest from my small garden to gun collecting, shooting, my dog, hunting and fishing occasionally, reading about history and various things that interest me, and discussing politics and philosophy, and attending a church.

Your hobbies and especially your interest don’t need to be expensive just find a few things that you really enjoy thinking about and working on. Even more important reach out to your kids and really try reconnecting. I’m assuming that you probably have younger grandkids that would love to hear from grandpa. Having loved ones that you feel bonded to and some things that you care about make a world of difference in how you feel about life.

And avoid SC.

Fugg the $10. I just wish that I still had a pair of shorts that fit after 15 years!

Dude. Just pack up your truck and move to Alaska. Enjoy your last years and your kids can come visit. We have all kinds of old dudes up here that are single and a bit gimped up. Most of them still work part time and are one the pursuit of the holy lost 1 in 1000 1886 in 50Ex. They go past 80 and go to every place in town to flirt with the ladies and tell dirty knock-knock jokes. We have Northern Lights up here. They have a pretty good recreation hill to climb and better gun shows in Wasilla. You can get by with punching ghetto rats and greenies in Anchorage. There are a lot of old guys out on the Peninsula. They live a long time.

Look up John Newton, he was a slave to slaves.

Look up John Newton, he was a slave to slaves.

I'll Pray for you.

Very sorry to hear that.

If you’re on your third marriage it might not be the women who are the problem.

Bingo.

If'n you're broke, that should fix the obesity issue. The rest, I got nothing..

Uncle Alvah: Darn, sorry to hear of your string of troubles.
I wish there was something I could do to improve your lot or to share my bounty of happiness.
I always have preferred to be optimistic through my various trying times.
I sure hope your journey through life takes an upswing!
You can always make fun of the village idiots on the CampFire (small twig and turdqueen!) and that should give you a modest batch of jolliness - I know it does for me.
Hold into the wind
VarmintGuy

Our friend needs help, not advice.

Load your gear and head that way.

Slummy didn't say the shorts fit........

In tough times I usually ask myself "what can I do to better my situation?"

This seems like it should be true, but I see quite a few poor people who are obese.

I don't know how but they've somehow figured it out.

Then again, they might just be....

No matter how bad things get , there's always hope in the Lord. I also will pray for you.

Roll a fat one and go fishing

If you think it is pointless, it probably is. Sounds like the problem is between your ears. Only you can fix it.

Here is the deal. Alaska values what Uncle Alvah has which is a love of firearms and an appreciation for their history. We always have older gun cranks and they generally are extremely happy. One of my friends Heimo Korth is 76 and is still guiding sheep hunters. Those old fellers make themselves scarce when the flu or Covid comes through but they are out quite a bit. Probably the toughest thing is that they aren't making as many print magazines and its tough to get them. I pray for you Uncle Alvah but just as a note although Iowa has big whitetails and good wrestling I would hate to be limited on the guns you guys are limited to. Wabbi you should think about Alaska as well. I have to recruit good god luvin, gun toting curmudgeons to counter the liberal ex-seattle pats who are moving to Anchorage and Homer.

How is feeling sorry for him “help”?

Sounds to me like he doesn’t need another person to co-sign on his victimhood but needs to act like a man.

Heimo Korth? The fella from The Last Alaskans?

Sounds bleak.

I’ve found that I’ve sometimes wanted to discuss my problems. And many times I didn’t really ‘have’ problems. Rather I’d chosen to live in the wrong direction. Often I didn’t need a miracle, or even a solution. I needed a new direction. I needed to live in a different, and better direction.

Where've been antlers?

Climbin’.

Antlers, you are always the voice of reason, and knowledge.

Find a counselor. Get a pt time job or volunteer. Keep busy. Work on your diet and goals.

Eating healthy is expensive..

Yes he is! He is a breath of fresh air and his insight is always valued.

I’m sure that Amazing Grace photo you posted will turn things around for him.

I don’t think you need a miracle… you just need to make some adjustments in your lifestyle…BTDT.



https://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbt.../17379368/lifestyle-changes#Post17379368

Life is choices.

“Woe is me” Isaiah6:5. Wallowing in self pity and negative thinking will not improve your lot in life. Only you can make the effort to crawl out of the dark hole of depression that you find yourself in. Whatever it takes you need to make the effort. As long as there is life there is hope.

Sound advice.

Get rid of the woman. Get a dog. Get walking and eating right.

Thats fuggin hilarious!

Where’s the problem?

Uncle Alva…..Sometimes we get lost. Sometimes we can’t see the logic in our existence or find our value in the world. It’s easy to feel insignificant or burdensome. We don’t know or understand God’s plans but if you are still here then he obviously isn’t done with you…. you are of indispensable value to Him. In a much smaller sense, I find your posts and opinions to be thought provoking and worthwhile. Your contributions here are useful and appreciated and I hope you’ll continue to share them with us.

I sincerely hope that you and your wife are able to put aside your pride and figure out how to reconnect on a meaningful level. Only you know if the relationship is worth saving but if there’s even a tiny amount of love I would pray for it to flourish. It’s almost never too late for 2 people to rekindle their love and join one another on life’s path. If there definitely is no longer love in your relationship and you both are miserable then perhaps you’re right and it is over. At 69 with the feeling of emptiness that you have currently I would follow the advice of our Alaskan friend…..I’d move north and live my final years on my terms.

I’m sorry that you are feeling the way you are. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope you’re able to find peace and happiness in everything you do.

I suspect your outlook may improve a little away from that irritable woman, misery loves company and a miserable woman can sure dish it out.

I’m four years behind you, the good news is neither of us have much time left. You and I have both had a life, raised a family. Nothing on this earth lasts forever, good or bad. Be grateful for all the happy times and decades of life you were given.

Were I you I’d spend my free time in motion, seeing what sort of performance I could still condition my body to, exercise makes loneliness more bearable.

For my own part the Costa Rica suggestion sounds good. I mean I always said I was gonna move to Thailand and start a family in my 70’s but the birth rate in Thailand is dropping like a rock, them friggin’ Thai girls is all getting Westernized.

Might be the only place left for old White guys to chase Asian women is North Korea 🙂

All uppity in chit.
Fancy DG gots the booze, Keystone at that.

Proly Dinty Moore by the case there too.


Must be nice leveraging celebrity

Id grab some fried chicken and pop (or beer ) and find me a fishin spot.

Hell even if they're just small.bluegills thatd be good enough.

Thermacell and some beetlespins or tiny tubes and an ultralight.

What the hell else does a guy need?

Perfect! One if my all-time favorites.

Stay strong.

You'll feel better once you lose 200 pounds of ugly fat- - - - -divorce the beeyotch!

Nothing to add here - wonderfully stated.
Keep the head up Uncle Alvah!

I appreciate the advice VERY much.
I think I will head for the ER, I fear I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I believe I will sell all my stuff to raise the cash to start over someplace else.
I don't have many years left and I'll be dammed if I'm going to spend them in misery at the hands of another abusive person.

Things are lookin' up already.

Talk to the Lord, Alva. Im so sorry to hear of this.

Thank HIM for the good times and for shedding His blood that ypu may be forgiven your sins and live happily again with Him forever in Heaven.

He loves you more than your Mother did and sent JESUS CHRIST to suffer a miserable death so your life could be saved.

Please call on him for forgiveness and salvation.

Knock and the door will be opened for you.

If it were not so HE would not have told you it was so.

Do it and ask Him to forgive and heal your unbelief.

You turly do control ypur destiny, as did the thief on the Cross beside JESUS that day.

You to can choose life over death as HE wants you to.

Do the right thing brother, and the only way for you to go is Up.

God bless you.

Hoping to see you healed and in Heaven some fine day.

Trust in HIM and you are in HIS hands.

Sir….PLEASE DO! Once you take back control of your life and stop letting others dictate your happiness you will feel significantly better!….everything else good will follow.

Get some help so you can have clear and concise thoughts and act with intent. These times, while they feel endless, are merely speed bumps along the road of life.

Please feel free to reach out to me if I can be of any help.

If you can see to read, open the Bible to any page and read.

Or turn the TV on a religious channel and listen.

We dont get healed totally until we are with HIM.

damm straight

slummy always has the answer

As if Gautama Buddha himself has spoken.

I have been at or near the bottom a time or two....

You have health issues that are going to limit your time here.

I would say make the best of what you have left.... and mend the relationships you do have if possible.

Get up early every morning, get the coffee going and get the day started... and keep moving forward.

At the end of every day, you make a list for tomorrow that has two columns.. this is what I need to get done today, and this is what needs to get done this week.

Before you know it.... you will have the house clean, yard all square, garage organized and your life uncluttered and you will find reason to be up and moving every day.

Keep showing the hag and the dimwit will cause more to jump off the cliff.

Alvah, get the depression dealt with through counseling and/or meds. Until that is done you wont see things clearly enough to make long term plans. For today, just get through today. Not sure what you mean that marriage #3 is "on the rocks". If it's over, then it's over. If not, don't end it yet until you get yourself straightened out. Work toward no longer feeling like a victim. Eventually you must identify why you do not have many good relationships. Own the part of it that is your fault and work to improve it. As long as you live there is hope to improve these things. There will be a way forward. You just can't see it right now. I see you quoted scripture. If you are in a church, meet with the pastor very soon and let him know of your struggles. Hope it works out well for you.

Your own happiness does not depend on others. Your intolerable conditions are not the fault of others. No matter where you go, there you are. Grab your courage in both hands and take responsibility for yourself and your future. Fix yourself first.

Sometimes that’s the toughest part of healing…

It's never too late to make a positive change in your life. If the marriage is making you miserable then get out of it. I've been married once, divorced for eight years, and I don't plan on doing it again. Some guys think they have to be married to be happy, I'm here to tell you that you don't. You're not feeling well about your situation right now but I'm here to tell you that things can and WILL get better. It's temporary and there is plenty of time to find a good life that you enjoy waking up to every morning. Find someone local to talk things out with first, a pastor is a good choice. I don't know if you have one or not but I've never met one who wouldn't willingly invite someone who asked for help into their home to talk over coffee. If you don't know one then ask some older lady nearby who their pastor is, she'll be happy to put you in touch.

Just eat less and you wont be fat. Your statement is a b.s. copout. If you cook your own food and shop smart you can eat healthy for cheap, and portion control is the big factor. Every fatty has an excuse. Yours is the most common.

This sounds like a man ready to give up. Broke, kids don't come around, wife problems, about to be homeless.

He is in bad shape and seriously depressed. I would be too. Needs some serious anti-depressant therapy most likely a good prescription. We all have to die, no need to go out on such a sour note.

I would be looking at a health regimen, a divorce, filing bankruptcy, and moving on to some sort of government housing if it wouldn't be amongst a bunch of Norwegians. You are 69 and ambulatory. You can cure the obesity and prolong the cardiac issues. If parts of your life are causing you grief get rid of them. Those things aren't going to change.

I'm guessing you don't need a recalcitrant woman around. If you are still up to it they all have one of those things. Start going to a country church, the older widows will be showing up with food at your house.

No need to commit suicide, get rid of what grieves you, this country provides a lot of help for folks in your situation.

IMHO

1. Attend and volunteer at a rural church. Serving others will give you resolve and tons of hope.

2. Part time job will throw some cold water on the heat of financial issues.

3. Lean meats, veggies, nuts etc. Your body should respond positively to better ingredients.

4. Get what exercise your condition will allow.

I wish you all the best with this struggle. Prayers sent from N.C. for your well being.

Sounds like depression l. I'm dealing with it too lately and it's not my normal state. It's tough but I have to force myself to do something productive each day. Industry is the best remedy. I'm in chronic pain from an autoimmune disease and don't sleep well. It's the lack of sleep that catches up with me. It's my kids that keep me going but they are still young and need me. At least that's what I tell myself. There's always a better day right around the corner.

Bb

Get the depression dealt with and then get some dentures.

My advice to you is get your head screwed in right and start eating keto-vore diet. It's not exactly cheap to do but you lose weight without any effort and it will control your diabetes and insulin resistance.

Bro, on Jan 1 of this year I was 360 lbs. Not pre diabetic but had high blood pressure and I don't worry about cholesterol. I cut out all breads, cut all added sugars, grains, starches, and went an high fat low carb ketovore diet and did walking. I ain't doing anything special nor am I starving but wouldn't you know I'm down 60 lbs I'm 6 months. It was easy peasy and I didn't even have to try. Along the way I had set backs like a knee that bothers me, terrible gout, and my neck injury but still it didn't halt totally my progress. So eat meat, fats, and veggies like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, with some butter and don't touch the sugar and things happen. Also make sure to intermittent fast everyday with OMAD (one mean a day). The fast is key and after a week you'll be used to it.

In 8 more more months I'll be where I need to be and I'm enjoying what I eat and the fact that my blood pressure is better and I don't have to worry about diabetes. If I can do it so can you.

If I ever found myself in that situation I'd like to think I'd get myself a decent travel trailer and pickup, my dog, couple guns, fishin stuff, a mountain bike, and a big bag of the sticky icky..... just cruise man. Get one of those gigs being the campground chaperone or whatever.... easy livin. Follow the weather. Good luck man.

SO what are you gonna do about it, raise to the challenge or cry all day.

What's the, uh, "stick icky"?

I

Man when you get some bud, that stuff will stick to a mirror you sling it at.
The little purple flowers in it, mmmm yahhh. Resin be weeping out of the back of that spliff, tarry finger stickkng together.

Sheeewwww weeeeee.

You don’t share it, ride to back fields by yoself and park the truck and get all quiet.

I can smell it from here, slumster.

Pray to God. Make a decision to not stay where your at(mentally).Work on fixing one small thing a day. Listen to David Pait.

Slummy knows what time it is 😂

I eat what I want, but only once a day, I've lost about 18lbs in the last couple of months. Still drink beer every day too.

Ask God and his angels for help. We have free will and have to ask.

A partner can be a distraction/ excuse.

Gotta be happy with yourself.

Dont let their chit be your chit

Been through it a couple times, while not perfect I took tje high road and arrived at a spot where I am content

Mentally

Its me time and IDGAF about what others do.

Ive earned it. Fugg em

Get my little yard mowed, trimmed and head to the range.

Ive seen tons of people at work ( worked at two major companies/ factories ) that think they NEED somebody.

They plow through failed relationship after relationship.
Always drama. And by golly, these people are quite sociable, have a bunch of " friends " on social.media.

They are the norm. And they ain't happy.

Dont fall for the chit everybody else is doing or everybody is happy but me. Things likely are not as they appear.

Couples w nice jobs and houses, taking fancy vacations...
The showoffs are almost always miserable.

The average person is stupid and unhappy.

If youre not stupid......you can be happy.
IMHO the cornerstone is just being an honest person.

Wail til some schit darkens your door, hero..

Depression is a bitch. Get help.

+1

I don't want to sound cruel. That's not my intent. But these are lifestyle problems. And if you're about to lose a 3rd wife, maybe the contentious one is the guy in the mirror.

No one here can talk you out of your problems. You can't change anyone, and no one, except you, can change you. You have to determine the truth and fix yourself. Once you determine and accept the truth of your situation, you can make the right decisions on fixing it. I'm sorry you've gotten to this point, and I'm sympathtic to your sitation, but you need to know the truth.

The only fortune I've ever gotten out of a cookie that ever mattered to me.



If you decide to not try, then there is still a postive to your situation. You have a greatly reduced risk of developing a cavity.

You are out of money, but I bet you have some income. There are a few things you can do quickly that will help with a bunch of things. The obesity (and probably poor hygiene) contribute mightily to the health, depression, and family alienation. Diabetes, heart failure, high blood pressure are natural consequences of obesity. It may be too painful for your kids to see or hear about this. If your spouse and you don't like each other there can be only one or two reasons you live together, finances and too inert to get out. I would get out one way or another.

If you are in the shape you claim you obviously don't have too much longer to live. I'll be darned if I would finish it out this way.

Go get you some anti-depressants, start eating baked or boiled seafood and salad only, and get away from your wife. Even if you are the problem you'll both be better off.

How often do they see or hear from you?
How would they react after reading this post?
Hoping you can find some help.

I came here to post this.

They can be small things but successes add up.

Obesity would be my number one. Stop eating unhealthy food. No more junk food, whatsoever. Find vegetables you like, and eat those. Beans are great. If you can follow a keto diet, that should help.

No unhealthy drinks. I drink coffee and water, and orange juice. Unsweetened iced tea instead of any soft drink.

Quit drinking any beer. If drinking leads you to eat (as it does me), then quit drinking, at least when sitting home alone and bored.

Walk. I quit using the elevator at work, I take the stairs. 4x a day.

It all adds up. Minor adjustments, one at a time, that will help. You don't have to change them all at once.

Good luck! You can do it!

very good advise !

You are getting some good advice but mostly bad advice, in my opinion. We as men need to prioritize and accordingly go about our business. My advice would be to set your eternal affairs in order since you believe that you don’t have much longer to live. You may die tomorrow or you may live 20 more years. “What profit of a man if he gains the whole world and lose his own soul”?I’m sure you’ve heard that Bible verse before. It is so true! if you were to die tomorrow and go out into eternity without the salvation of Jesus Christ’s Gospel you will be doomed in hell forever, on the other hand, if you are saved you’ll be with Christ in paradise/heaven forever. My advice to you would not to open the Bible and lucky dip and find a verse and think that God is speaking to you but first open the Bible to the book of John and read who Jesus is and get acquainted with Him, Then repent and be saved ans the burden/guilt of sin will be lifted. You will then have a new nature and outlook on life. You then can proceed from there but that’s where and how I would start to regroup.

Al, I'm sorry for your situation and sympathetic. I've read each of the Posts here, all reflecting kind concerned folks. I'm no better than most here, without real expertise to offer. I do believe the best "amateur" answer is to seek professional help as soon as possible. The ER, or less drastic, the brand new National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 811. The following info about such option from my last night research, I hope perhaps the offer of a 'nuclear takeaway' from my information here.
""
After reading all your Thread as noted, I Googled the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, posing the question of "what a caller to expect" The search term itself was productive. Just not what I expected. I didn't get much of a quality answer. This is a program less than one month old. Shockingly to me the information in my eight or so samplings, much more about touting statistics, about State officials and political figures sponsoring. About self-back slapping. About... everything but substantive answers responsive to that simple question. Washington State, providing reference to the enabling Legislative Bill including Number! Woah, if an emergency where a potential suicide victim needs that enabling law information urgently, it's there for all to view. My experience with simple soft, kind, caring, friendly and compassionate "primer" as the telephone experience info I'd expect; not there.

What I did get, with some ferriting out, 'potentially' is your ability to call 811 and actually remain largely anonymous, only giving your first name for better personal relationship established. Other questions they may be required to ask, you have the right to decline to answer. The program itself 'sounding' almost surely to serve you well. "Those in need but with doubts about what might help. A supposed simple, no harm, no foul! You can 'supposedly' make a test call. A "What if my friend suffered... Setting forth your situation and symptoms in hypothetical context, without any negative sanctions. No tracing back the call, etc. Differing very much from calling 911 Emergency. You can set the tone and parameters of the 811 call. The downside principally I can foresee, a new system full of glitches. Getting through, avoiding getting transferred around, a properly trained person... All that stuff.

"Patience and not giving up likely a key to helping the system work for you! Making successful contact your priority! You may be transferred to a call center half the nation away, as the system tries to adjust for call loads. That's normal. You can remain totally anonymous, but by virtue of the 'system', you will be part of the grand experiment. Keeping "perspective and eye on your personal ball", likely important. Last the sad humor we call "life", the admonishment... "Your experience may vary!" This may sound weird, but you may be able to help them, getting through the "trying days of new service providers", coming together in a new system.

What you can probably do to 'prep' for such a call. Consider your situation. Make notes, principal points. Important stuff you believe your contact voice on the phone will need to help you. When I'm on overload, I make notes concerning important 'comms'. The 811 Service folks are required to ask the some questions off the bat. Your name (again first name only is OK or none if you wish), whether you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others. You don't have to answer, but those are watershed questions. You should plan to answer them honestly. Actually any "fudging", hedging, lying about anything, will likely hurt you most. If you truly don't know OR wish not to answer, just say so AND ask to move on. Again for emphasis, I'd urge you to confront such issues and be prepared for a totally honest answer to the best of your abilities. The ER is the emergency parachute if you simply can't answer honestly and effectively or if you adjudge phone assistance as 'not to help'.

Al, what I'm suggesting here in my poor amateurish fashion, are parachutes. For folks who can and will take that first step to speak with someone far better trained than likely anyone here or direct to ER. And... In that context a momentary critique. Those who suggest positive self help in this Thread, going to the extent of uprooting as relocating bodies and lives... They're not understanding the problem of someone 'frozen'. Not even able to well function with daily tasks. They're not "listening"! Advice for somewhat troubled folks, perhaps simply needing a 'nudge' or new vista perspective. Such 'trek out' advice perhaps appropriate. But here we have you more like in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, in a dingy! No viable oars and limited rations/water. A radio lifeline in hand. Not the occasion for helpful offer of "advanced swimming skills, navigation, weather advice, tides or currents; perhaps a 'six pack' for libation! The point, best "self help", use the radio! Seek help! A person struggling just to stay afloat! "Relocation" and about any other advice, seems to me, a discouraging distraction. "Holiday brochures of Caribbean adventures, beaches, babes and beer... Great for you or I, but missing a person struggling, needs whatsoever.

About this "amateur". Age 81! Retired lawyer, retired L/E special agent, retired American military officer. Personal story of years ago. A close college and law associate. Him, supposed to be my personal 'wet behind ears', mentor! 'Us', as two person attorney office in small town. Hanging with him for almost my initial year of practice as seeing this good man deteriorate emotionally. I didn't have a clue and myself debt laden from school, no time to assume responsibilities beyond self and family. Necessarily, in my career, 'moving on'. A full seven years later, him having lost all due to mental/emotional illness. A wife and two adorable little girls as I knew them. His law practice, his financial worth & reputation. Finally his life. Ended in suicide in a VA clinic bathroom. A Viet Nam vet. Combat injured with a life of pills and pain. Some years later to realize his almost surely severe PTSD. Despite his lawyer education, he didn't have a clue how to reach out on his own behalf. I didn't have a clue, other than his observable corset, physical injuries and incessant pain. Yet never guessing, what portended a greater problem and final demise. Yet coming to realize his increasing inability to "focus" as symptom-central. When you can't focus, bad things follow and manifest quickly. Another attorney waiting in the wings as I departed. Ripcord fluttering! Learning later, my replacement had also bailed! To this day, my regrets for a truly good human being, father and family man... My colleague lost! I was part of the process of harming him by my own ignorance and failures. Such to pause, to really 'observe' a person 'in need'. My head in my own problems, then seeming overwhelming but not "unmanageable". Now, to this day, wondering if not some manner to have better assisted him. The VA system surely failed him, as it traditionally has many vets. "Retired" military status, another almost opposite 'happier world'.

OPTIONAL READ: I'm a firm believer in my personal God. One who holds us responsible for our daily self-guidance and actions as we have the capability. A God who softly expects "good works" for humanity as we can each manage. Beginning with ourselves! A "big picture" God as we ask where he is and how he allows human atrocities. The simple answer... "We are not intended to know God's greater plan." I have humbly prayed for you Al. I believe prayers do count. As "man proposes, God disposes." Suggest you propose to God that you will reach out with preparation, persistence and faith as you can muster. Allow him to control the consequences. The fact of then able to lift your head, to say "I've tried!"

The postscript, this exercise in attempting to help you, a 'timeout'... Has also helped me! A manifestation of "God working in mysterious ways..."

May your troubles be soon manageable as then quickly 'past'!
Best!
John

I pray to God, but I also row away from the rocks......said a wise man once.

Life aint supposed to be easy.

This is so simple that people ignore the advice regardless of how obvious the rocks are…

Pretty good advice.


Alvah, you're being called. You may not recognize it now. But your are, indeed. But pick up your Bible and read it. Start in John. Start in Matthew. Just start. I would, however, recommend that you start in the New Testament. And don't approach it trying to understand it. By grace, understanding will be given to you, usually when you realize it's speaking to you directly. Yes it speaks to all of us, but in your case, when you read it, by God, you'll recognize it's speaking specifically and uniquely to you.

Take a brief listen to Dr Martyn Lloyd Jones. Start at about the 18:00 mark.

I'll add, find a good minister, and tell he, or she all about it.

Nothing like that ever happens to me.

Why go on???

My heart breaks for you, you quoted a scripture. God preforms miracles every day. Have faith and believe. I have been in low places and God the universe lifted me up. I grew up in a very strict religious environment. Now that iam older it saddens me to see so many people put God in this narrow paradigm. He is so much more. Look into Dr Joe Dispenza. This man is passionate about teaching people how to meditate and the miracles that can come from it. Prayer and meditation are the foundation in my humble opinion. I will keep you in my prayers.

I am pulling for you my friend... things will pick up.

We all go through low points. Adhere to your friend's advice on here... make the best of your lot and be positive and happy.

Listen some to some of Ryan Michlers Order of Man podcasts.

Look for the Ray “cash” care episodes.

Says biggest hurdle some ppl face is sabotaging yourself.

Well yesterday I heeded the advice given and headed to the ER.
Two-to-three hour wait and no Mental Health people on duty. I left.
Tomorrow I will lean on my primary care provider at the VA. I have a tele-appointment at the VA Clinic on October 4th. If I want a face-to-face I'm looking at early December.
I will not wait that long. If necessary I will seek private care. I have used the Community Care program in the past. Problem is, by the time I see the Doc and get a prescription and wait for some results, the CC window has closed and I have to re-initiate it all over again, with a different therapist usually.
I can assure you I am not going to drop the ball on this! I get irritated when the inevitable "Are you thinking of harming yourself?" question gets asked. I bristle up some and tell them I am trying to LIVE, not die.
Oddly, at the first session of recent CC I was given a bunch of samples of Trintellix. that showed significant promise. Problem is the VA does not offer it.
For the record, I am by nature an optimist and I also am a Christian.
I was first diagnosed almost 25 years ago.
I will NEVER stop fighting this.

Good luck man, I've been there, it sucks. It'll get better if you let it.

Good for you Uncle Alvah! You sound like a fighter! I’m glad that you’re being proactive about your life and health because many people aren’t. Advocating for yourself and taking control of your medical situation is a great step in the right direction and I hope your local VA can get you the help you need in a timely fashion. At the end of the day though you are what’s important and if they can’t see you before December you might consider finding private care to bridge the gap until you can get in to the VA….you deserve to feel better now! Getting the “ball rolling” now and getting the medication that helps now is important, you can always transfer your files to the VA and do your long term “medication maintenance” through the VA but I wouldn’t wait several months. Life is too short to spend months in the heavy darkness of depression while you wait for the VA to have an appointment available.

God bless you and may he give you peace and comfort during this difficult time.

As my dear mother used to say, "It came to pass, not to stay."

She was referring to you, dumb ass.

LOL

Maybe she was explaining the stool that got stuck in her colon for two weeks, it's possible.

What's the difference?

LOL

Let me say this:

Happy pills are a good place to start. There are many of them, and a LOT of them are cheap. DON'T wait in the VA or any other one "free" outfit. Even if money is tight, go pick up aluminum cans so you can pay a doc for a visit. Lots or "telehealth" options out there for a modest fee. As far as cost of prescription, many anti depressants are dirt cheap. Tryciclics are quite effective, but have fallen out of favor due to toxicity concerns for large doses (kids getting into them) and the fact the patents are long expired and no one is marketing them. But the cheap ones work just fine.

Once you are out from under the black cloud you're under, you can start making rational choices.

I will also say this: If you have poor relationships with people close to you...... what do those relationships have in common? Once you're out of the depression, you can start working to try to repair those relationships.

The answer is simple, yet is cloaked in all the modern feel good remedies pushed by the Godless.

One word-

thankfulness


If you dwell on whatever you have to be thankful for, you will retrain your mind away from the negativity and defeatism. It's impossible to remain ungrateful when you are thankful.

You just can't be serious.

My kids come first. I'd fix that issue right now. My grandkids are the most important people in my life. I treasure every minute with them. Have you connected with them lately ?

kwg

I was once told that God keeps us here for only one or two reasons:

1.- There is something more for you to learn.

2. - There is something more for you to do.


So….these questions can be put to me, to someone else ……or to you…..


What is the “something more?”

When i was much younger i went through a faze of not knowing what to do and not much friends around. I travelled a lot and met new people and life just kicked off from there. its never too late to take risks.

A few things besides meds that I find can help.

1. Get some good sleep at night. You may need checked for apnea. Get your thyroid and testosterone checked too.

2. Get outside for at least 20 minutes a day.

3. Take a vitamin D supplement.

4. Force yourself to go do something you used to enjoy once a week. I'm bad at this one.

5. Find some social interaction, this one's tough when In feeling down because I feel like a say negative stuff to people and and up feeling worse. Sometimes just a brief casual talk with a stranger is more helpful than getting way into the weeds with someone you know.

6. Write down some small goals and after achieving them write down a little bigger one. Don't over do it, little victories.

7. Try to eat 3 fruits and 3 serving of vegetables a day. I did 4 fruits and 5 of vegetables for a while years ago and after 3 months I'd never felt better. I hstill have a really hard time doing this one. It takes effort and planning but it keeps you from eating other junk. I try to get 80 grams of protein a day too. I've lost 70 pounds since December but I've yo-yo'd a bit.

8. Make a written budget. It can be depressing when finances are bad but is the first step to getting control of your finances. It won't be perfect, they never are, but it will help you to prioritize. Finances can be turned around and it's a great feeling to be debt free. I was in massive debt after grad school and it took a while but I'm debt free now including our home. It has been a blessing to not have that stress on top of other stressors I'm dealing with.

9. Recognize and avoid self destructive behavior. It makes it worse later every time. I struggle when I'm down with doing stupid stuff on an impulse I wouldn't normally do.

10. Give it a little time and realize your not alone a lot of people struggle with depression and there's definitely a physiological component too it. Like diabetes when you manage it well you can do pretty well.

This list is mostly for me but I thought I'd share. I need to get doing these things again.

Bb

There are no such thing as happy pills.There are uppers and downers.The VA will fill you with all the downers you want.They will not make you happy.They will turn you into a slug.The best thing you can do is get your self right with your Creator.All is possible when you take that step.I used to feel sorry for myself and have learned my problems are nothing compared to others.Volunteer at your VA .That was a big learning experience for me.try to do something nice for someone else every day.The pay back is astounding.I will pray for you my Brother,Huntz

This^^^^^

Not true. Antidepressants are neither "uppers" nor "downers" and need not 'turn one into a slug.' They can be a huge help.

Really,well do you have any expereience with how the VA medicates vets?I do
What Are Downers?

On the opposite end of the drug side effect spectrum are downers. This slang term refers to CNS depressants, the types of drug that produce a sedative effect by slowing down the messages sent and received between the central nervous system and brain. They make the individual feel relaxed or drowsy and are often highly effective at minimizing feelings of pain. The natural opposites of uppers, downers decrease alertness and focus.

Legal sedatives are helpful in managing anxiety, epilepsy, and insomnia, but are dangerous when abused. Illegal sedatives such as narcotics, are never safe to abuse in any amount, and are notorious for being highly addictive.

Depressants slow central nervous system functions, such as breathing and heart rate. This can cause dangerously low oxygen levels in the body and result in a coma. Lack of oxygen is the biggest risk of abusing downers. When too great of a dose is taken, possible outcomes include overdose and death.
Examples of Downers

Alcohol
Benzodiazepines (Xanax, Klonopin, Halcion, and Librium)They hand this chit out like candy!!
Barbiturates (Amytal, Numbutal, and Seconal)
Heroin
Fentanyl
Prescription painkillers

Chemicals are powerful things, good, and bad.

Timely spot and place here to watch the Toby Keith/Clint Eastwood video,

“Don’t let the old man in”

Start an Only Fans.

I'm so very sorry and shocked for the ER situation you've encountered. Unbelievable and cruel. Here, in the State we hate for gun controls, California, about the opposite healthcare conditions. My in-laws, husband 86 and wife 80, "sheltering" with us from Ukraine. Their City rocketed and their national health system in shambles. Here, great ER care, him with blood & urine labs, Cat Scan, no insurance, no problem! Now, H&W both qualified for State health insurance. No cost & zero deductible! Generally, in life, "balance in all things". Fortunate to be living here.

There, sounds like you need an "advocacy program" formal or compassionate friend of strong will!. If VA isn't there for you as I understand often not, there must be social services there somewhere locally! Sounds like ultimately as your now speaking of, you need and perhaps can well be, a strong advocate for yourself.

I'd still recommend that national "811" hotline. Offered as "no harm, no foul. You don't know what's available until you reach out and "TRY"!

God Bless!
John

A lot of good advice offered.

On the topic of medications and costs associated with this issue I will add that most counties have providers that are low to no cost and are not inundated with so many appointments that you can’t get seen in a timely fashion. Mental health is not something that can wait…..nor should it.

God bless!

There's been some good advice. Burleyboy has given you some good solid things to do and that's important.

What impressed me the most about your situation is how easily it was for you to list all the negative things going on in your life. Truth of the matter it was easy because you are so focused on negative things. It's no wonder you've lost hope. What I would like to see from you is what you have going for you. Where your focus is there will your heart be. Negative focus los of energy and ready to quit. Focus on the positive and you will find more positive and you will find yourself getting better direction and feeling better about yourself.

Most depressed people, do things depressed people do. They have trouble sleeping so they stay up half the night watching tv. Quit doing that. Go to bed at a regular time, get up at a regular time. Get out and get some exercise, even if it's just a long walk. You have already been given the idea about eating properly. Look for the positive in people including this woman you are with. Again focus on the negative and that's all you will see. Look for the positive, recognize it, mention it, appreciate it and she may become a different woman.

What was your plan for retirement? What money do you have. Make a list of things that will get you through. Be thankful for what you do have. Being thankful goes a long way.

Start setting goals for yourself. Where there is no vision, the people parish.
Are you in debt? Work on that in relationship to the budget Burleyboy mentioned. The fewer dollars that goes out for bills the more you have for your immediate needs. Keep moving forward.

Alvah,

I hope you're doing better.

I'd suggest a trip to the desert if you're near enough to one. When I lived back East, that was one of the things I missed the most. When I needed away from people the nearest desert was 2000 miles or so away.

There's a reason those dudes in the old books went to the desert to clear their minds..............................it works.

See my signature line. Just dismiss that last line. It's not pertinent for you.

Geno

You completely avoided antidepressants, which are neither 'uppers' nor 'downers.'

Can they the VA offer you services in another state? Is that an option? Some VAs do not have the resources for mental health. Denver Colorado and Wyoming both deal and have programs for mental health. Depending on your VA status they will cover most or all charges for you to get you to a program/treatment. The problem with the VA is who you talk too and how competent and motivated they are! Keep on them! You can PM me and I can try to find you a patient advocate number or social worker that can help with the leg work on navigating the VA.

Alvah,

Sir, I truly hope you're doing better. Life sure can give us a can of worms at times. Sometimes we have to roll with the punches, or stop that train you're riding on, back it up and change tracks for a better place, for you at this time.

I want you to do things that will help you. If you are so dragged down, you might need some medical help. It might be a good idea to see a Dr. tomorrow, get yourself to an ER. People will want to help you, the same as people here at the Campfire want you to have a peace about yourself. I think you want help, thus, this thread.

Wishing you all the best. Prayers going up for you now.

Says the whiniest kghunt on the internet.

LOL

Stop getting married. See how it goes from there. Go outside and walk for 10 minutes. It's time for you to think only of yourself for once in your life. You obviously know what it takes to get straight. You were able to out your kids on that path.

I enjoy walking outside and thinking of myself. Good advice

thinking only of himself is probably one of the reasons he is where he is at today......bob

Regardless if this OP is legit or not or just a sock puppet. For folks who are clinically depressed, the suggestions giving here are absurd. These individuals need to seek out professional help. Only a couple here posted what one should do and that's seek out professional help. Praying to god, reading amazing grace, pull out out the bible start reading (I believe in god the whole 9 yards), sell all your stuff move to Alaska. Those are all the wrong answers, will they help to a certain degree sure, but that person will still be at the end of the day depressed.

Good luck Alvah...

Dont forget a jailed grandson in law.
Coming back hard to live with you and his gwammy again.
Or your appointment at the VA to go get your Daffy Duck prozac pez dispenser....


Masar/ Cardenas Poo....

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Classic.....

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

^^^^^this.

If the OP is not a sock, I feel bad for him... but the truth is almost everyone feels like this at one time or another... and another uncomfortable truth is the best we can do is serve others, otherwise it is all pointless

Quote from a good family friend. "You never know how the other guy feels".

It sure seems to have turned out that way.................and the nuns would be very surprised I've got that figured out somewhat.

But, I think, like others here, the OP is playing a con.

Really makes one wonder.......Almost broke and staring own the barrel of homelessness but still has internet access.

Hmmm.....

Actually he is out of jail....for now anyway. Step Mom bonded him out.
Lives in a camper behind his Dad's house.
He is not allowed on this property.

Just for you, renee........

What about it?
Actually they have been pretty good to me.
They could likely help you as well.....you surely need it......obviously your Moma dressed you oddly as a child....except you have to be a Veteran, so there is that.

That’s about the funniest meme I’ve seen

Tks