You've never done a battery swap on a Porsche Cayenne, or an older ('88-'92) BMW 750iL have you? The BMW has it under the power rear seat, which has to have the "floating" seat rail removed before the seat can be taken out. The Cayenne battery is under the driver's seat, power seat of course.
Can you jump start that battery?
Yep. Remote connectors under the hood on both vehicles.
To anger a conservative, lie to him. To annoy a liberal, tell him the truth.