What does your heart tell you, not man using words to shape God to man's existence. Being lost spiritually doesn't mean punished. We are all lost at times and I expect we will go through trials even after as we continue to grow spiritually, after we move on. After all that has happened to me the last 9 months. And I know others have suffered throughout history more than I, my experience isn't special. I've come to some conclusions not easily explained in man's words.
I've been able to strip away all the politics, control issues, human interference in my spiritual relationship with God. It's crystal clear to me now, or I'm insane. I have no inner struggles, no fear of anything in this life or the next and feel I understand the transition and wonder at my previous fear of leaving this life.
I don't believe anymore in a stop and go for the spirit, between life and death, just a continuation and like a caterpillar, the unfurling of wings and the glory of release. Whether we have a life of 1 sec or 100 yrs doesn't matter and is just a blink in our existence. I feel it starts at conception and why I don't think there is a transition from embryo to viability in the abortion issue, any abortion is homicide, whether it's justifiable may be another issue.... So I believe there isn't a transition for the spirit once started, it may leave the body, but continues on without a pause.
I can't really describe it in words, I can't talk to God in words, I 'feel' his meanings, I relate in emotions and communicate that way also. God is timeless, either direction, his language can't be ours. Man's words all relate to time/place, we communicate in time relation. How can we describe God in a medium he doesn't live in, man has tried to put God in our time with words. God sent his son, our brother, to exist in time and teach. He did without written words, he used emotional stories and examples, parables, to teach the spirit... Jesus never wrote anything. I have to believe there are many paths God opened for all to follow.
Spirit to Spirit, nothing else matters.
My son has already advanced above me, he will be my elder when I move out of time.
I may never pray aloud again, it's only words... Amen
