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two I can think of from experience are:
1. getting you so frustrated and pissed off (pushing your buttons) that you do something that's out of character....first wife
2. thinking that it's a lost cause...second wife...we nearly divorced last year after 10 yrs of marriage (came within 30 days)...we had run away from our problems for too long and all the little things had become big problems.....bottom line, we started really communicating again, faced all of our problems and recommitted ourselves to keeping our faith central to our marriage....we have been happier for the last 5 months than we ever were before...at the risk of sounding sappy, she really is my best friend Good for you RiverHawk!
best piece of advice I have to give: be very careful who's advice you take during times like these.....make sure it's someone who really knows you and your situation...a person who will call you out if you are making a mistake and/or help you think straight if divorce is inevitable, which is hard to do
whatever happens for you....good luck Definitely, GOOD LUCK. RIVERHAWK, not at all 'sappy.'
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Also it doesn't matter who she is banging or who you are banging. It is not relevant. No fault, remember?
No Fault doesn't necessarily mean that. It only means you don't have to prove fault to get a divorce. Infidelity still matters in some jurisdictions. In past times, you had to prove some fault simply to get divorced. Like someone else said, in California if there are no children involved its all pretty much by formula straight out of the book. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference who is banging who. That is all perfectly legal and accepted at least in this state. Cali isn't like most other places. But in general, you're correct, judges don't give a schit who is banging who. But, according to MO law, it can be considered. Whether it is or isn't in practice, only MO lawyers and judges can say.
War Damn Eagle!
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Campfire Kahuna
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CADA or CASA?
No offense to your intent to help but he'll pay more in attorney's fees if he follows some of that advice.
Last edited by isaac; 04/01/11.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward
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Campfire Ranger
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Why further tax our over burdened legal system when a little Decon can make it all go away. So how much did ya have the whole bunch insured for?
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Max out all of the credit cards at your local gun shop and enjoy! Good luck.
Jed York does not own the 49ers; Russell Wilson does.
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I will not offer advice,I'm not good at it,been married three times.I can tell you,it's get better before you know it. You DO need to know the laws in your state,if needed go with a lawyer as soon as possible for thr real scoop on things. I didn't on my first time(divorce) and made a mistake by dating too early, (11 months out),I was seen and photographed! I still pay that one alimony after 19 years! Good luck and keep your chin up!
Come on America, Athletes and actors are not heroes, only soldiers, airmen,marines and sailors get that respect�and let's add firemen and LEO's
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Well I read thru all of this, and no body suggested taking your wife out to a good dinner, and talk this out. Gee's you have 23 years and two kids with the lady and you are ready to chuck it all with out so much as trying to find out why she is not happy? Its all to easy to say just screw it rather than just sitting down and talking and I mean really talking. My first guess is that the kids are grown and will be leaving the nest, and she may not be happy about it or something along that nature. Good grief give it a shot, what have you really got to loose. In a divorce you are going to loose, its set up that way, how much to loose is up to what you do or don't do. Not talking to the woman is not a good thing. Most problems can be worked out by just talking.
"Any idiot can face a crisis,it's the day-to-day living that wears you out."
Anton Chekhov
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If you go though with it remember your divorcing her and not the kids. Try to take the high road and not involve the kids in the discussion espicaly blame games and ect. Try to be civil but all that seems to fly out the door once the laywers get invovled.
Take the first step if have to do it and get advice from a lawyer if she is already talked to one your behind in the game.
If there is any proof of a man in a hunt it is not whether he killed a deer or elk but how he hunted it.
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The marriage is over. Treat it as business. No matter what who did or did not do shut up and sit on your hands.
The Karma bus always has an empty seat when it comes around.- High Brass
There's battle lines being drawn Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
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CADA or CASA?
No offense to your intent to help but he'll pay more in attorney's fees if he follows some of that advice. "kay - da" No offense taken. My only two real points of "suggestion" if a divorce actually happens is to #1) LOOK OUT for himself. #2) GET THAT ATTOURNEY ON RETAINER! But in the meantime, while I've never been divorced I still known some pretty unscrupulous and MEAN W-I-I-M-O-N-S! Most fellows I'll share whatever I've heard of or known happen when wiimons were on the warpath. Too bad some real heart-to-heart communicating couldn't "might" help? Of course both gotta want too.
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This whole thread has become an April Fool's joke with no "one eyed man in the land of the blind".
GET AN ATTORNEY NOW !!!!!!
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Spano's law of divorce:
"The man always pays."
www.paracay.comIt's better to live rich than die rich. Live simply so that I may simply live large.
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Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer. Divorce sucks. Avoid it at all costs if possible.
Crossed Arrows Archery LLC Authorized Obsession Bows Dealer Custom Strings/Tuning www.crossedarrowsarcheryllc.comBlack Eagle Arrows Pro Staff, Montana Black Gold Shooting Staff, Dead Center Archery Products Shooting Staff
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I am at my wits end with my marriage of nearly 23 years and feel I am at the end.
It is indeed time to part ways.
For those who have been through it what are the correct steps to do it correctly? What is the reason behind you wanting a divorce? What has "caused" this wit's end?????? Your feelings or hers? And does she know????? Is she going to cry for days when she finds out, because she thinks everything is fine.... Are you a good husband and she a bad wife or vise versa? These issues should be adressed first before any more comments should be made.....
Last edited by PAMac; 04/01/11.
If 'ya can't put hot sauce on it, it ain't worth eat'n....
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thank god tomorrow is april second !
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Campfire Kahuna
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It's not been mentioned here but folks should understand the most critical part of any effective representation is your lawyer must be timely paid his gobs of money.
Very important,folks. Don't ever mess this one up!!
Last edited by isaac; 04/01/11.
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward
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Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer. Divorce sucks. Avoid it at all costs if possible. Best advice yet.
It is irrelevant what you think. What matters is the TRUTH.
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It's not been mentioned here but folks should understand the most critical part of any effective representation is your lawyer must be timely paid his gobs of money.
Very important,folks. Don't ever mess this one up!! Paid lawyer: Unpaid Lawyer:
War Damn Eagle!
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Someone else said this, Ill repeated with first hand knowldege. Call every divorce attorney in town and setup an appt before you file. Or at least the the most reputable. This will limit your competition. Once an attorney speaks to you, by law he can not represent your wife even if he is not on retainer. Happened to the lady who was trying to buy my house. She had to put the house purchase on hold for a year so we decided to rent. She went through three attorneys in a year... each time costs her lots of money with no results. Her husband had already seen all the reputable attorneys in town.
Another good advise... avoid confrontation, keep your cool and if things get out of hand get legal and law right away. Nothing worse than a women crying victim when she was the one creating the crime. Johnny Law will take her side is she calls first.
Second, you file, give her what she wants and needs. Be reasonable, remember she didnt ask for this, you did.
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Get it behind you, nut up and move on....I went through one 16 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I had seen good friends go through it and watched them sit around with the crybaby attitude, filling themselves with self pity and remorse. Some of them never did recover and I watched them self destruct. Whatever you do dont become that guy.
Luck....is the residue of design...
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