Over the last 3 weeks I have taken 4 women to the range to shoot a LCP, G43, and a Shield, as well as a few other pistols and revolvers. They had very little experience and could handle the 9s as easy as anything else. Working the slides was the biggest hang up. Not necessarily because of strength, but because of technique and mind set. They all had problems hitting anything, but that takes practice.
I think needed size should determine chambering. If they will be using a bra holster or carrying while running/jogging, the 380 is probably best, otherwise a 9mm would be the better option.
