with advances in bullets, the 380 isnt no slouch anymore for carrying
True, but still only a few bullets come close to the the 12" FBI penetration criteria (denim in front of properly mixed ballistic gel), and then those expand much less. A Hornady XTP, for example, penetrates as much as 11.5" (very close) but only expands to .41" on average. The excellent Federal HST expands impressively, averaging right at .5", but penetration only averaged 8.5". All are much less consistent than the larger (more powerful) cartridges as well.
The .380 ACP has come a ways, and is certainly better than wielding a baseball bat, but the 9mm still is where adequate personal protection begins (in my opinion).
I would agree with 'Flave on actual platform size. Something in the 'Compact' class is easier to shoot that the 'micro' sized guns that are popular for pocket carry. And if a lady is going to carry in a purse, the size is less critical. Good point to consider.
