Someone's gotta do it...
Yo girlfriend so fat her belt size is equator.
Yo girlfriend so fat she got baptized at Sea World.
Yo girlfriend so fat she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
To girlfriend so fat, every time she turns around you have to throw her a welcome back party.
Yo girlfriend so fat, the Hogwarts sorting hat put her in all four houses.
You girlfriend so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
Yo girlfriend so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.
Yo girlfriend so fat, when she goes camping the bears hide their food from her.
Yo girlfriend so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Columbus claimed her for Spain.
Yo girlfriend so fat, for Halloween she put on a white sheet and went as Antarctica.
Yo girlfriend so fat, when God said "let there be light", he asked her to get outta the way.
