Do you reload?
get her a 38 snubnose to try, load some 38 special at about 400 FPS maybe less and let her shoot that.
Then load it for defense with milder 125-158 grain rounds.
That's what I did for my wife, she can shoot it al she wants and never have recoil be a bother.
I bought my Mom a Beretta 950 about 40 years ago, that seemed to go well also..
That worked for me and mine but we ain't you or your wife, to each his own
