It is indeed relative. My 15 year old enjoys the 120/2,800fps load, even for steel, while my 11 year old thinks it's a bit stout for her and prefers less recoil at this stage. She's not as much of a shooter as my older daughter.

The kids after each taking a shot at the 220yd pig gong with the 2800fps load.

[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]

Now with even more aplomb